Review #219: Fang - Landshark (1983)

LANDSHARK

Year: 1983
Genre: Hardcore Punk
Label: Boner Records
Tracks: 8
Length: 16 Minutes
My Rating: 6/8

Landshark was the first album by the Berkley, California band known as FANG. Actually, it's kind of funny 'cuz there's this other band from Germany or something that existed around the same time also called "Fang" and they had this really catchy song called "I Don't Go" and I liked it a lot, but it doesn't sound anything like the other Fang, so it really confangused me for-a-while until I found out they were different bands. And shit. Anyways, yeah, this album is a lot different sounding from the first Fang 7" -- faster songs, harder songs, wilder lyrics. It tells tales about homelessness, skinheads, death, fast cars, etc. Y'know, a day in the life for a California street punk. Anyways, even then, this is more interesting than your typical hardcore album because Fang fought the trend by having a bunch of real slow songs. Anyways, time for the TRU REV-U...

1. The Money Will Roll Right In
This is a song is about a guy who goes to Hollywood in hopes of becoming rich and famous. It's kinda slow, and we all like it that way. This song is the most famous Fang song because Nirvana played a cover of it during one of their most notable shows. The riff rocks. The singer (Slammy) sings about how he would have shared some of his fame n' fortune with his friends if they really gave a shit about him, and now they "must feel pretty stu-pid". Real fuzzed-out guitar sound.

2. Land Shark
I really fucking love this song! It's real fast, it's got awesome guitar riffs, good lyrics, it's a real fun song! It's about driving a fast, indestructible car that runs on a set of its own rules. I really fucking love the way this song sounds... just pure energy n' action in musical form!

3. Law & Order
This song is slow. The guitar riff in the verse is pretty tough, while the chorus riff is more dischordant and dreary. There's little moments of brief chaotic noise-spurts punctuating the chord progressions. It's about how the institutions and laws of the world have created a sterile, boring, cruel existence for all people to live in... "MY MOTHER WAS A JUNKIE, MY FATHER WAS A FAGGOT"... Slammietown rants about how he's been sent to various institutions to fix his problems but they couldn't do shit to help him.

4. Diary of a Mad Werrwöulf
The riffs seethe and spit with anger. Real thick and hard... and I ain't talking about no pennis! The lyrics are not far from something that the Misfits would write -- it's about a werewolf who goes out at night on full moons and seizes his feasts of flesh from unwitting victims, regardless of the petty useless rules of society. The song fades out at the end... of Side A.

5. Destroy the Handicapped
Once again, great riff-age!! A little more upbeat than the two other songs we've just heard... still totally skull-splitting, however. The lyrics to this one are narcissistic to the core, it's all about how handicapped people are inconvenient to the singer's life and how they have poor hygiene and make the government pay for them to live and whatnot. Y'know, stuff that makes hippies and liberals cry by the thousands.

6. Drunk & Crazy
Another real fast one. Who doesn't love gettin' drunk n' crazy ever now and then? The singing really rolls with the pummeling beat (of the drums, not of the peoples' faces) and the swerving guitar riff that makes you just WANNA GO WILD!!!!

7. An Invitation
I think this song's about either a guy raping a girl in an alley or a guy wanting to have a romantic suicide with a woman. Not sure. Goddamn it, I never get no fucking invitations. Unless you're people I've known since I was five years old, of course. Not meant offensively or anything. Slammy just sounds kinda tortured, here. I know that sounds real pretentious but the way he groans and shit suggests it.

8. Skinheads Smoke Dope
Starts off with a real FACEPUNCH type of beat and then it gets faster and the guitar riff here JUST KILLS, MAN! It's a pro-skinhead anthem about why skinheads are so great and how they smoke dope (and that ain't no fucking joke) and all of that other stuff. An ultra-kool song in my opinion. Seriously, you've gotta hear this one, man! Ends with a nice scream.

Well, that's LANDSHARK by FANG. Nice lil' record, now wasn't it? The band is kind of notable for reasons besides its actual music -- the thing with Nirvana that I mentioned earlier in the review, and plus, Slammy killed his own girlfriend (maybe she should've listened to his song "Invitation" before getting to close to him, eh?) -- the weird thing is that he only did about 6 years for it, even after running from the cops for a few days! But yeah, after that Fang re-formed and they're still around and shit. To be honest, this and the first 7" is all I've heard from them so far -- that's right, Fang are still pretty new to me. So come on, my fellow fuckfreak brethren, let us rejoice in the side-piercing sounds of FANG!!! YAEY.

Top 3 Favorites:
1. Skinheads Smoke Dope
2. Land Shark
3. An Invitation