Wednesday, February 9, 2011

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE SIDNEY THEATRE (2/9/11)

Oh. Hi. Hi there. Oh. Hi again. Hello there. It's me, Chuck Fuck-head. You may have heard of you, but chances are that you haven't. I went to Sidney a few months ago and saw a pretty... well, it was a pretty nice looking theatre. It looked pretty cool. But it was closed. Then last weekend a few days ago, guess what I did? I went to Sidney again. 'Cuz you know, like, it's actually pretty close to where I live. And it's still closed.

But what I didn't know is that you guys used to have, y'know, punk rock and metal concerts. And then about two years ago, you closed it down and some other fuckheads re-opened it. Now you do ballet shows. What the hell is up with that? You guys do know that I couldn't even drive back then, right? Otherwise I would have totally come to all of those fun shows you were probably having there. Fuck, I talked to my friend last night and she said she used to go see shows at your place... gee, that sure would've been a lot of goddamned fun, right? Like, I could have seen cool bands live and up close without having to ILLEGALLY sneak in, except I can't even do that 'cuz the only other punk venue I know of has the music section on the upstairs floor. What do you expect me to do, climb up the wall and then break through the windows? I'm not really feeling up for that.


Anyways, now that I know that you guys existed and that I can actually drive a car now, why don't you do me a big favor and start having rock concerts there again? Underground bands. I don't know how many of the bands that played there were actually much good, but I'd still go. Because it'd still be kind of fun, at least. Did you know the only time I ever saw live music was when I snuck into a bar to watch a cover band play one TED NUGENT cover?? And I still had a shit-load of fun! Can you fuckheads believe that?


Oh, hello there again. This iz still me, Chuck Fuckhead. I am 17 going on 18. I will be 18 by the end of the month. But the problem is that even once you're 18 you're not old enough to go to bars. Doesn't that SUCK? You could still go to a THEATRE, right?
Apparently not. This is because the one theatre I know of has closed two years ago. Two years ago I would have really liked this, too. But I guess I just didn't know and you guys don't seem in any hurry to go back to how it was a few years ago. Because, y'know, that would just be a bit too awesome for a little hick town, right?

Fuck you. Fuck you hard in every orifice with everything even remotely shaped like a pennis until you guys start having rock concerts again. Just fucking leave the door open at least, that's the least you can do. How much fun am I supposed to be having at a ballet show? Oh, that's right, probably very little at most. My mom used to take me to a lot of those fucking things because my brother's friends were in them! I don't want to have to go to another one! I want to go to something that rocks. I don't like popular bands and I can't go to bars. What the fuck am I going to do, my friend?


Hey. It's still me. Guess what? Did you know that some people believe that the world is going to end in 2012? Wait, what? You guys do, too? Aw, well that's a shame. Maybe you should make this little boy's day and start having concerts there again and stop being lazy fuckshits so little ChukFuk can at least have experienced ONE non-cover band for a full set before he gets killed in the apocalypse. That would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.


Fuck you guys. Fuck you really hard up your collective anus. Until you open. Then we can be cool with eachother again. Until then, go fuck yourselves and kill whoever decided to shut down somewhere I could've been going to have fun all this time.

Assholes!


- CHUCK.









P.S. If anybody else is reading this, this is the MySpace page link for the Sidney Theatre:

http://www.myspace.com/the_sidney


If you have a MySpace account, go to this page and spam and flame them mercilessly to start having concerts there again until they listen.
Bye bye.



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