Thursday, December 30, 2010

Review #195: Night Fever - Demo (2010)


Year: 2010
Genre: Hardcore Punk
Label: None
Tracks: 3
Length: 3 Minutes
Style: Angry/Weird
My Rating: 6/8

Night Fever is a cool band from the state of Indiana. Not too far from where I'm from, really. The band formed in July of this year, and so far this is the only thing they've ever put out. Actually, somebody made a live bootleg of the band as well, but I'll get 'round to that later. ANYWAYS, umm... the band. It has a singer. A guitar player. A bass guitar player. A drummer, as well. Those are the members of the band. This tape. It has three songs on it. Real fuzzed-out guitars. The singer sounds a lot like Ian MacKaye from Minor Threat. In a good way. There's even a keyboardist. I think. And there's a Black Flag cover. So let's GET PUSHIN' TO THE CUSHION AND START FUCKING THE SHIT OUTTA OUR CASSETTE PLAYERZ AS WE LISTEN TO THIS MAGICAL TAPE. ACTUALLY, HERE IS AN UPDATE FOR 1/12/11: THERE IS NO RHYTHM GUITARIST. THE BAND MEMBERS ARE ASHLEY (KEYBOARD), GWEN (BASS GUITAR), MATT (DRUMS), AND MARK (VOCALS).

1. Fallout
The song starts out with a two-note keyboard key-press-age. The beat is really cool... it's the way he does those cymbals. As I said before, the singer sounds a tiny bit like Ian MacKaye, but with less restraint. The song's about a person who survives a nuclear fallout, and then his body begins to mutate in sorts of ridiculous ways... "now I'm growing TENTACLES". TENTACLES!! TENTACLES! LIKE, WHAT OCTOPUS(SY)ES HAVE!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

2. Wasted
Black Flag cover. My favorite early Black Flag song, at that. You know the drill. It's a tad faster than the original version. The riff, lyrics, flow... all very energetic.

3. Ditched
The synths in this song remind me of sort of a circus, but like, a deranged circus full of evil klowns. "I'M SICK OF BEING DITCHED!". This song's about feeling like shit 'cuz the girl you're with ditches you for other things all of the time. Man, that guy (whatever his name) can fucking scream. I love the way he screams. It sounds awesome.

Know what? I really like these guys. Their music is interesting to listen to, they have an awesome singer, they have a sense of humor, and they're in a state I could actually get to not so difficultly. As for what songs I like best, I think it really does go in consecutive order. The first song is best, second song is second best, and the third song is the worst. That doesn't mean it's a bad song though, I'm just saying I don't like it as much as the other two songs. But this band is pretty cool and you should go check them out on MySpace. I'm saying this because they appear to not be very well-known. So go listen to them, dudes and women. And just check out how cool that tape art is!

BYE BYE!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Review #194: Grand Funk Railroad - E Pluribus Funk (1971)


Year: 1971
Genre: Hard Rock
Label: Capitol Records
Tracks: 7
Length: 35 Minutes
Style: Political/Emotional
My Rating: 7/8

So a one night last week, I went to Goodwill, to see if I could find anything worth purchasing. Well, I bought a t-shirt, and in the cassette bin I actually found a GRAND FUNCK RAILROAD tape. I had never listened to them prior to this in my life, but I had heard about them from the Butthole Surfers and I really liked the cover of the song "Paranoid" from their album called "Double Live". So, for only 99 cents, I took my chance and bought the tape. So THEN, a day later... I LISTENED TO IT. It was pretty good. I dunno whether to describe it as being "hard rock" or "heavy metal" since as far as I'm concerned, those terms pretty much are interchangeable, and as the title implies, there are some funk-y elements of the band's music as well. Anyways, time to review this album, man.

1. Foot Stompin' Music
The beat seems pretty stompin', there's some organ alongside a throbbin' bass guitar, and then the singer, Mark Farner (who Paul Leary named his DOG after!) is singing the song. Pretty badass lead guitar. Actually, know what this song kind of reminds me of? THE THEME SONG FOR SESAME STREET! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Didn't Cookie Monster invent the whole death-metal vocal style, anyways? Only the thing Grand Funk Railroad are definitely not death metal. So go stomp yer diRty feet and get stompin'... all the way over to the other song. Mang.

2. People, Let's Stop the War
Yep, an anti-war song. The song begins with a very beautiful guitar riff accompanied by a real cool bass melody. OOH. OOH. OOH. OOH-OOH. Those were some of the first lyrics I heard in this song. Then things REALLY kick off with that funky-ass guitar sound. WHAP WHU-WHAP-WOWP-WAMP!!! That was a really bad textual impression of what the guitar sounds. But you might get the idea... right? Well, the rhythm guitar is really amazing-sounding in this song. There's some pretty nice technically-good vocals from MarkFarn and then there is the group-shout of "PEOPLE, LET'S STOP THE WAR!" in the chorus. Vietnam was a real shitty war. And you can alwayz count on the same man who brings you the vocal chord vibrations heard in this song to bring ya some wild-sounding guitar wankage. Like, the good kind of wanking that feels real good on your penis. Except this time it's an ear instead of a pennis. Who wants to start wars when you've got a song this good tellin' ya not to? I dunno. I say this is probably my favorite song on this album.

3. Upsetter
Kicks off with a cool riff. The drum beat is also real cool to listen to. Is that a clopping horsey I'm hearing in the sides of my ears? Well, maybe it is. It's real hard to tell what you're just hearing yer head and what you aren't anymore. Like, what if we're all just slowly growing crazier as a populace? Do mind-control waves being emitted out of otherwise useless structures in public gathering areas really exist? Sometimes I have to wonder. The final chorus is played a couple steps higher than the usual chorus sections of the song. Oh, and if you like harmonicas, there's a lot of that in this song. Then at the very end I hear some nice-sounding guitar strumming.

4. I Come Tumblin'
He comes tumblin', eh? THAT'S A LOT OF CUM, MAN!!! The singing and guitar riff have a very confident, triumphant aura to them. The drumming of mister Don Brewer (perhaps he liked to make beer) is about as good as it gets in some parts of the song. AGH, what an amazing mid-section... you get a mid-tempo more relaxed beat and melody alternating with a real frantic, fast drumming and guitaring part! And just wait for the climax and aftermath (end of the song) of that! You'll be impressed. End of Side A.

5. Save the Land
The guitaring is good. The song reminds me a lot of "People, Let's Stop the War" from earlier, but a little faster and not quite as good. But it's still a good song. The chorus section is a little more up-beat with harmonizing vocals and the like. The beat sounds awesome in that part of the song. "The whole world WILL get high"... FUCK YES. You heard it, the whole world! You motherfuckers WILL get high. YOU WILL. So start injectin' that heroin and smokin' the weed, 'cuz it's now or later, you big buttholes! The lyrics of the song encourage people to fight back at the government to preserve their property and what rightfully belongs to them.

6. No Lies
A little slower. The guitar has a real hot, fiery sound to it, and the singing is just excellent sounding. The leads are fuckin' sexual and this is just the type of song you could FUCK to. Yes sir. NO LIES. The singer of the songer assures the listener that he "isn't gonna sell ya". In the bridge section, the song briefly cuts into an abnormaly speedy tempo before settling down back into the standard pace.

7. Loneliness
This is a really long song. It's more mellow than the other songs. A bit more depressing-sounding. The lyrics describe a need to protect and preserve the earth and humanity to save it from an otherwise assured demise. The chorus section surprisingly jolts up into a louder, more upbeat type of groove. There are some good keyboard effects used in this song also that enhance the emotional energy of the song. In the very end of the song, things speed up and the soundscape is filled with a barrage of harmonious synth sounds. And that's all, kiddies.

Well, it was really a pleasant surprise when I bought this tape and listened to it to find out that it really didn't suck. At all. At Goodwill it's hard to find much music of quality beyond maybe some obvious record that everybody already owns. But it's a real nice, heavy, chock-full-of-great-sounds-and-riffs-and-beats-and-stuff album. Actually, when this album was first released, the LP came in a case that was shaped and textured like a gigantic coin, as shown on the album cover. That's pretty legit. Anyways, do check this record out. I think punks can get into it also, you just need to have an open mind and some taste. Taste meaning appreciation for something outside of the status quo. Enough 'bout that, thuh. Guh thuhth uhbum. Nuh. Pluh. Actually, a lot of people said that everything they did after this album sucked, but I've only heard this album and the song that the Butthole Surfers covered. I'll be sure to review their other records later. I had fun writing about this one.

Top 3 Favorites:
1. People, Let's Stop the War
2. No Lies
3. I Come Tumblin'

Monday, December 27, 2010

Review #193: Pigeon Religion - Dead Boss 7" (2009)


Year: 2009
Genre: Post-Punk/Noise
Label: Gilgongo Records/Jarson International Records
Tracks: 3
Length: 7 Minutes
Style: Weird
My Rating: 6/8

PIGEON RELIGION was a rock ern roll band, man. They... they existed for, like... a few years and stuff. They made some pretty good music. They were frerm Arizona, I think. This... this... was one of their other records that made. It has three songs on it. One of them is about having a DEAD BOSS. And the other ones are about other things. But I'm getting a little ahead of myself anyhow... the thing is that my Grrrl Friend tape I made was destroyed by my tape player last night so everything sounded really fucked up when I was listening to it. So it inspired me to draw some pretty nice pictures. One of them involved flowers. Flowers with beer. And then there was also a picture of a girl saying "WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO MARRY THE PRESIDENT OF GAY LAND.", and all of those other nice things for children. BEEP BEEP BEEE BEEP BEEP. I dreamt I decided to kill a cheetah for some reason, last night. I think I was afraid it was going to eat me or something. Then I was in a video game for a little while. One involving Africans and later on I was trying to swim upstream on a raft because I was in the arctic or something. Anyways, now for a review...

1. Dead Boss
DADE BOUSS DADE BOUSS DADE BOUSS DOODADOODADOO. The song begins with a celebratory "WHOAAOAOAA", because, probably... THE BOSS IS DEAD. YAEY!! The song seems to portray the blissful ecstatic excitement experienced by one when their boss is discovered to be dead. The singing on this song is pretty hilarious-sounding. The guitar riff follows the "whoa" vocal melody of the song. The song slows down and then it's over. Man.

2. Henderson
The beat and tempo here aren't as normal as the other song. It'll be just a couple cymbal crashes and a snare, then another one, and then a bass pedal beat. Or something like that. It's really noisy. Only the bass guitar carries any immediately noticable melody. Everything besides this is a ton of guitar feedback and the singer's drunk-sounding vocals. HAVE YOU SEEN NIRVANA? End of Side A.

3. Huge Bummer
HUGE BUMMER, MAN... the song has a pretty cool bass riff, and a shit-ton of guitar feedback as well. The song's lyrics sound something like "YOU CAN STAND BY YOURSELF, SO LET'S KICK BACK ON SOMEONE ELSE", or something like that. The lyrics are song awesomely, which is a good thing. Did I mention that the song has a really cool drum beat? Anyways, at the end of the song is a bunch of feedback and a repeated guitar riff. Best song on the EP. So, that's the end.


Sunday, December 26, 2010

Review #192: White Zombie - Gods on Voodoo Moon 7" (1985)


Year: 1985
Genre: Post-Punk
Label: Silent Explosion Records

9 Minutes
My Rating:

Thanks to the help of my favorite cartoon ever, Beavis & Butt-head, this band actually got famous for awhile... by then they had gone to more of a mainstream heavy metal sound, but they were totally punk when they first started out. And not your momma's Ramones-like punk either, this is weird-ass window-shatterin' punk! The kind your momma warned you about! The band came from New York City and were named after a 1930s horror film called... the WHITE ZOMBIE!!!! The quality of this record is a bit murky, so it's kinda hard to make out all the lyrics, but I'm going to review all of this stuff anyways.

1. Gentleman Junkie
It's like a backwoods-sounding version of New Wave! Rob Zombie's weird, hillbilly-sounding vocals give the music an extra edge. Beat is cool in the chorus part. There's a ton of lead guitar solo-ing going on also, so that might interest you as well.

2. King of Souls [W.Z.]
The guitar riff here is even cooler here. A little more up-beat and catchy. I just love the way Rob's singing sounds. End of Side A.

3. Tales From the Scarecrow Man
Slower. Very inviting bass riff. Real trippy-sounding lead guitar stuff going on. More awesome-sounding vocals. That guitar just sounds like a ton of little creatures whizzing around your range of hearing. Sort of bubbling and rippling, and then buzzing and leaving a trail of glow behind it. I think I heard a harmonica also. This is my favorite song on the E.P.

4. Cat's Eye Resurrection
The fastest song. CAT CAT CAT... I like cats. Because they are funny. The tempo slows down in the chorus part and starts to sound like some fucked-up carnival tune. Rob's got so much of this fucked flow to the way he sings. Well, that's it, man, 'cuz this song is pretty short.

That was the first White Zombie record. It's pretty interesting... in some ways it reminds me of the Butthole Surfers, but not as funny. The vocal style reminds me of early G.G. Allin, but even more redneck. There's a hint of metal in the guitar tonage. Actually, the EP was re-released some years later as a cassette tape which includes two studio out-takes, but I'm too lazy to review those today so maybe someday I'll redo this review all over again or just find another record with those songs on it to review. Anyways, if you like your music fucked, screwed, and skewed, then "Gods on Voodoo Moon" iz for you. PENNIS

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Review #191: Teenage Jesus & the Jerks - Orphans 7" (1978)

ORPHANS (Single)

Year: 1978
Genre: No-Wave
Label: Lust/Unlust Records

3 Minutes
My Rating:

Teenage Jesus & the Jerks is a No-Wave band from New York, whose members have included (the incredibly hot) Lydia Lunch, James Chance (also had his own band called "The Contortions"), and then there's also Gordon Stevenson (bass guitar), and Bradley Field (drums). The line-up that recorded this record were Lydia, Gordon, and Bradley. James Chance must've been off contorting himself then. Anyways, this was the first Teenage Jezus release, and it contains their most well-known song, Orphans (probably because they made a music video for it), and then another song called "Less of Me". The musical style of Teenage Jesus & the Jerks is cathartic, repetitive, abrasive, feminine, and confrontational! When you listen to TEEEEEAAANNAGGGEEE JEAAAEEUUUUAAZOUUUUSSSS andthejerks you will hear chords that YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED! Lydia Lunch screams and yells about orphans and shit, and what the hell, I'm supposed to be talking about that in the song reviews! So......

1. Orphans
LITTLE ORPHANS RUNNING THROUGH THE BLOODY SNOW. Yep, you'll hear a lot about little orphans dying in this song. No more ankles and no more toes. That previous sentence was something that Lydia sings in the song. The riff is really repetitive, and the sound of the rhythm guitar is icy and it flashes into your ears, the same way that it feels on your feet to run barefoot through the snow for the first time. Or to walk on thin ice. After each sung part, there's a fucking wild noisy guitar solo. The beat is just a thumping bass pedal. Very simple. Lydia sings in pain, like maybe she were at one point also a LITTLE ORPHAN RUNNING THROUGH THE BLOODY SNOW. Bloody snow would be like red snow, correct? DON'T EET THE REDD SNOWW, KIDZ! The guitar kind of sounds like this: dskfjsdklfjdskfjdslfjsda89udjsd-';dgfld;'lgfdsasd;;';pg;df'df

2. Less of Me
I dunno who's playing the saxophone here. Maybe it's James Chance. Or Lydia herself. The beat and melody are simple here, but the way it's all punctuated is different than in other song. You get to hear a lot of saxophone craziness in this tune. Lydia's voice sounds a bit less frantic here. More cymbals from mister Field, also.

Definitely listen to the song, "Orphans"! "Less of Me" is good also, but "Orphans" really does take the cake. It captures the feeling of its subject matter perfectly and it just sounds really really good, also. I give this record a 6/8 because it's just that snazzy. Also, check out this AMAZIING MUSIC VIDEO FOR ORPHANS BY TEENAGE JESUS AND THE JERKS 'CUZ IT'S FULL OF CLIPPETS OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION AND MAYHEM AND PLAY-DOH AND ALL OF THAT STUFF THAT YOU KIDZ THESE DAYS ENJOY WANKING OFF TO!


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Review #190: Poison Idea - Pick Your King 7" (1983)


Year: 1983
Genre: Hardcore Punk
Label: Fatal Erection Records

12 Minutes
My Rating:

Poison Idea was a hardcore band from Portland, Oregon that existed throughout the 1980s and early 1990s. Apparently the early incarnation of the band was composed of Darby Crash's cousins, which is PRETTY COOL. The band original consisted of: Jerry A. Crash (vocals), Pig Crash (guitar), Chris Crash (bass), and Dean Crash (drums). Well shit, imagine how those family reunions musta been for ol' Darby... I mean, "Bobby Pyn"... I mean, Jan Paul Beahm. Sorry, took me a little while to get THAT one right! "Darby, stop flinging your food at Pig Champion... 'cuz he's eating all of it and he's starting to get real fucking fat!". Actually, Jerry A. looks exactly like a chubby version of Darby Crash in these early days of the band. On one side of the EP sleeve, there's a picture of Jesus, and the other side is Elvis. Which one will you pick? Enough 'bout THAT, though. Time for another record review!!

1. Think Twice
I fell in love with this tune the moment I heard it! The guitar riff cuts real hard, the beat is fast as lightning and pretty solid as way. Jerry's singing voice is throaty and harsh, also! The song beckons that suicidal people think twice about their decision and to "count their blessings before they lose them". You have to listen to this one!

2. It's An Action
Pretty fast and cool-sounding but not as strong as the track before it. The message is good, though -- it encourages people to destroy the fascist government from within and practice freedom. And to bash a cop or two.

3. This Thing Called Progress
Alternates between guitar-only and not-guitar-only intervals in the verse parts. The chorus has an awesome chord progression. The song explains how what the government and mainstream society calls "progress" in civilization is actually destroying the country from within, and therefore, needs to be stopped.

4. In My Headache
This tune's a little slower, but still fast by anyone except a grindcore fan's standards! The lyrics are pretty angsty and the music rules.

5. Underage
This is a really short song, but the band has a lot to say in this one. The song is told from the point of view of an 18-year-old who feels frustrated by the lack of respect for minors in society.

6. Self Abuse
The song has four parts. The first part is fast, the second part is really fast, the third part is slow, and the fourth part is fast again. As you might expect, the lyrics describe and question the actions of people who engage in self abuse and self mutilation. End of Side A.

7. Cult Band
I'm not sure if this song is supposed to be an attack on the commercial glam bands of the day or punk bands that built up huge followings based on their social philosophy like Minor Threat. Anyone got an answer yet?

8. Last One
This song has a simple guitar riff and it's an anti-violence anthem telling violent people that were ruining the hardcore scene to go fuck off.

9. Pure Hate
I just realized that on these not-as-fast songs that the guitar sounds a ton like Pat Smear's guitar on the album (GI) by the Germs. The song contains allusions to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, except the song is more in celebration of hate. Or so it sounds. Actually, I don't really know what this song's about.

10. Castration
Really fast and really short! The song rants against macho assholes who are out to make a show of themselves for some cheap sex, while their family members (wife/girlfriend, kids) are secretly planning to get their revenge on him and castrate him, either literally or figuratively. "Your girlfriend's waiting for you with a broken bottle."

11. Reggae (I Hate)
While many punks have come to love reggae due to bands like Bad Brains that play both styles of music. It's pretty slow, and the beat is very similar to that in reggae music. The chorus section is fast and thrashing as ever, though! The lyrics denote reggae as being a bunch of religious drug-induced slow idiocy, as Jerry proclaims that he "can't slow down" and he "won't dance at a disco, even if they play reggae". Then one of the band members says "Motorhead".

12. Give It Up

13. Think Fast
Nice awesome riff. The beat sounds cool. The song encourages people to be nice and not treat their friends like crap or else "it might be the beginning of the end". So that's the end of POISON IDEA, MAN...


Top 3 Favorites:
1. Think Twice
2. Reggae (I Hate)
3. Think Fast


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Review #189: DOUBLE FEATURE!! (Executed 7" by Government Warning + Throbbing Organ 7" by Pissed Jeans)


1. EXECUTED (Single)

Year: 2009
Genre: Hardcore Punk
Label: No Way Records

4 Minutes
My Rating:

HELLOOOOOOO, KIDZ, it is getting closer and closer to CHRISTMAS TIME, in which people get presents and worship JAEEEUEUEUEUEUZOUUUS, and even if you don't worship him (for which you will suffer a fate of BURNING IN HELL FOREVER), you can still enjoy sitting around a tree with a bunch of shiny things stapled to it and listening to cheesy songs about Santa Claus (Satan Claws?) and getting free stuff from other people. Anyways, it's time for the special magical LEGIT SANTA CLAWS TO GIVE YOU A MAGICAL SPECIAL LEGIT GIFT, AND THIS IZ CALLED THE LEGIT MUSIC REVIEWS DOUBLE FEATURE... I AM GOING TO REVIEW TWO RECORDS IN ONE SUPER-REVIEW! SO, LET'S BEGIN, SHALL WE?

"Executed" is the newest release from the band Government Warning, and it's a 3-song 7" single.

1. Executed
This song starts out considerably slower than the usual Government Warning stuff... more Sex Pistols-speed in the beginning. After the first part of the song, which has a pretty cool guitar riff, the song speeds up by a large amount and ascends into the brand of hyper-thrash that the band is known for. Later on in the song, things slow down a bit once more and Brandon, the drummer, puts on some pretty neat-sounding drumming for the outro of the song.

2. Shirked Obligations
This song is very fast. Pure hardcore thrash, chord changes going mile-a-minute, yadda yadda...

3. Modern Day Heroes
This is a cover of the song by the band Battalion of Saints. Cool guitar riff in the verse section. Probably the best tune on this record, though "Executed" is a little more interesting musically. The lyrics of this song describe how even though the murderers and molesters of the world have always been able to somehow find joy in taking lives with no remorse or shame, there's a group of people today who kill so much more than any serial killer; they do it legally... in fact, they're hailed as "MODERN DAY HEROES": THE FUCKING MILITARY!!

Well, that's my review of EXERCUTED BY GUB'MENT WARMIN'. It was a pretty decent listen. The Battalion of Saints cover is pretty neat. The title track is good also, though "Shirked Obligations" didn't really interest me that much. But that's all I've gotta say for right NOW, so let's JUMP over to the MAGIICAL RAILROAD AND CHUG ALONG TO THE NEXT RECORD REVIEW, shall we?



Year: 2004
Genre: Hardcore Punk
Label: Parts Unknown Records

6 Minutes
My Rating:

THROBBIN' SEXUAL ORGAN iz ther first-ever official release from their Pennsylvania rock n' roll band, PISSED JEANS!!!!! So lettuce get around to seeing what magical animal could possibly unleashed out of our own THROBBING ORGANS when I put on this little song...

1. Throbbing Organ
The vocal style of Mister Bradley Fry here sounds a little less defined here, which is a good thing because he actually sings cooler here than he does on the newer records! Awesome tempo, super pissed-off-sounding sludgy guitar riffs, the singing is really off-time. The drumming is great, and the vocals sound so insanely brutal in a non-generic way! I coulda sworn I heard him barking like a doggy in one part! I don't even know what this song is supposed to be about but it's probably about a THROBBING ORGAN and it's still cool.

2. Night Minutes
Now, fer the other side of the PISSED JEAN WEEN HOT NEW (in 2004, it was) SINGLE! Actually, in some parts the singer kinda sounds like Iggy Pop with downs syndrome. Man, I'm gonna have a field day imagining that one. Similar-sounding to the other song... just simple angry dumb drunken punk music! I like the chorus riff. Actually, in the later parts of this song, they throw in some lead guitar stuff as well into the mix. The song ends in a few seconds of chaotic guitar noize. The end.

The insanity in Brad's singing and the hard thickness of the rhythm guitar make these songs sound tough-as-nails, and not the kind of nails you just hammer down into the wood either, 'cuz they're moving all over the place! It is a pretty good record and I wish Bradley still sing like he does on this record... it's not like he sounds TERRIBLY different now, but this sounds better to me for some reason. Actually, the band just released another new 7" this year, so maybe I'll have to review that sometime as well. Seen their new music video yet? It's for the song "False Jesii Part 2" and you should check it out or something. But that's all I've gotta say for now. I hope you enjoyed reading the DOUBLE FEATURE...

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Review #188: Fangs Of a T.V. Evangelist - Fangs Of a T.V. Evangelist (2010)


Year: 2010
Genre: Sludge Metal/Post-Punk
Label: We Empty Rooms Records

38 Minutes
My Rating:

Fangs Of a T.V. Evangelist is that lil' band that jush KEEPS ON GIVIN'... new names, that is. Their earlier title was "Fangs Of Satanic Soccer Mums", and I've got a hankerin' it's not the LAST time they're gunna change their name, either! Anyways, FANGS OF A T.V. EVANGELIST is the band's third release, the two albums before it are "Fangs Of", "Fangs Of Satanic Soccer Mums", and this is the newest album which just came out this August. The band is from Melbourne, Australia, and their style of music is slow and monolithic yet punkish, not unlike the Melvins, who they are very much inspired by. They put this album up for free on the internet to advertise the fact that it's out on vinyl, and maybe I can convince my brother to buy it for me or something. Time for the review, friends...

1. Spider Spider
The immediately starts off with a droning, pounding one-chord riff and simple drumbeat. There's a little bit of a portentous lead guitar melody starting a few seconds into the song. Jace (the singer and guitarist of the band) begins singing around a minute and a half. After two verses, the song goes into a more urgent chorus with a more aggressive feel to it. After the second chorus, the speeds up a little bit with a really speedy bassline and the vocals in this part are sorta growled rather than sung softly. Good drum beat in this part, also. There's a few false stops in the song before returning to an instrumental outro. The song stretches all the way out to a good near ten minutes long!

2. We Shall Rule
The bass and drum attack on here sound even more menacing! There's a bit of wisping, icy lead guitar floating and disappearing around as well. Just before the first minute, the main guitar explodes into an electrifying explosive riff. Jace's singing sounds about as dark as it gets without sounding ridiculous and it does fit the thick, dense sound of the song... so much rock n' roll there's barely any room to breathe! Three and a half minutes in, a really amazing solo is unleashed! And after that, there's a really good riff for the mid-section of the song... it sounds kind of uncertain, but not necessarily in a negative way. Jace breaks out of his angry-sounding voice to sing more melodically on this part, which I have to admit sounds just a TEENY bit cheesy when the backing vocalist starts coupling that with his 'brutal' yells, but all of this is overshadowed by the immense amount of creativity that's in this song, so who gives a shit, right? The song slowly collapses into noise and chaos and pounding drums and snarling random guitar notes that twist and tangle like anacondas (GET IT? GET IT?). Man, what an awesome song! That's the end of Side A.

3. A Pool of Water Is God
Now, for the other half of the album. Sounding a little more up-beat already, the beat is significantly faster, and the guitar riff sounds a bit cockier. After the second verse, the tune cuts to a bass-only part, and you hear quieter snarled lyrics in the background. After that there iz also a guitar solo. The guitar sound is real nice on all of these songs.

4. Boules
Boules... "bowels"?? "Balls"? Jeez, I shore am confused at ther moment! The intro part sounds like something straight outta "Bullhead", and if you are in the band it's up to you whether or not you want to be flattered or offended by such a comparison. But there's a lot of alternating between loud guitar-dominated parts and more subtle bassy sections. That guy Jem seems to be a real master of the drumset from what I'm hearing on this album! Then there's another part with a lead guitar section that sounds like ambulance sirens, hehe.

5. Anarchists Who Can't Do Manual Labour
Another favorite of mine on this album. The song is made up of two parts. The first part is pretty fast and has a speedy bass melody, a really cool beat, monsterlike vocals, and after the part with the singing, there's a real great part with all of this sex-level guitar solo-ing going on; it would definitely work as the soundtrack to a proper slam pit! After the swirlin' fury of that part of the song, it slows down to about half the speed, trudging into different segments following a certain beat. The first of these features a sad-sounding guitar melody of a repeated bass guitar riff. The second section has a just-about godly bass guitar riff using the rarely-utilized-in-music bass CHORDS, which sound just about as thick and heavy as fuck, with an icy rotating sort of lead guitar melody as the icing on the cake. This song is great!

6. Exit Tunnel
It's the EXIT TUNNEL, 'cuz we are now EXITing the album through this TUNNEL that's in URANUS! Slow beat and droning bass notes. You start hearing some buzz-saw type guitar chords fucking the lower parts. The guitar part that goes inbetween the lyrics with the part where the vocals are yelled sounds pretty cool. DRIFTING DRIFTING DRIFTING... andthat'stheendofthesong,kids.

Definitely an album worth checking out in my opinion! I won't post the download link -- I'll leave it up to you to look for it yourself, but do check it out and if you're in a position to, consider actually buying it and giving this band some money and giving yourself a cool new record to add to your collection! And these guys are probably gonna kill me for making another comparison to the Melvins, but if you like... THAT... band, then... check this out, 'cuz it's all SLOW N' SLUDGY, KIDZ. Real fucking heavy riffs and chords, beautiful solos, excellent drumming, and the vocals are usually good but I'm not extremely into the whole light singing voice... reminds me too much of nu-metal, which this band definitely is not. But it's their band, not mine, heh! SOOOOOOoOooo, that's all I have to say for now. Punks! Metalheads! Losers! Listen to some FANGS OF (a t.v. evangelist) today! It'll crush you!

Top 3 Favorites:
1. Anarchists Who Can't Do Manual Labour
2. We Shall Rule
3. A Pool of Water is God

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Review #187: Last Rights - Chunks 7" (1984)

CHUNKS (Single)

Year: 1984
Genre: Hardcore Punk
Label: Taang! Records

4 Minutes
My Rating:

Last Rights was a band from Boston, Massachusetts that lasted for about one show. Actually, they were a brief re-naming of the late Negative FX, whose songs of which I have only heard one, but I found out about this band because Dinosaur Jr. covered the song "Chunks" for one of their EPs they released in the late 1980s (which can also be found on the compilation album called 'Fossils'). The band's lyrics describe straight edge, unity, brotherhood, fighting to unite and all of that stuff. So now, let's take a brief peek into what was released by LAST RIGHTS in '84... until about two decades later when they released an album that had even more songs on it!

1. Chunks
The song starts out with some feedback, droning, and floaty lead guitar noises. Pretty soon, the song begins. It has a really crunchy, simple yet awesome guitar riff and a pounding drum beat like a punch in the face. The chorus riff is real awesome too, man! The lyrics describe a feeling of brotherhood amongst the hardcore community, as evidenced here: "we'll be together until we die!", and the singing is really tough/brutal-sounding here as well. And the lead singer had a moustache, I think. Now listen to that song again and think about his little moustache going up and down while singing.

2. So Ends Our Night
Unlike the previous song, this one's main riff has about eight chords, which is actually real cool! It's a tad bit faster than Chunks. It's about playing hard music at a show at night, being straight-edge, not drinking booze, and bein' wild... without the help of alcohol or drugs. SO ENDS OUR NIGHT! Apparently they like Coca-Cola a lot, also... so do I! YES! And guess what else? I like BOOZE, also! Actually, one time I mixed Coca-Cola with some bourbon whiskey, I think... it was about two years ago, though. After each chorus, the band hoots n' hollers and screams like a bunch o' wild aminals, man! It fuckin' rules.

Both songs here are pretty exciting to listen to, but it sucks they didn't last longer. I guess "So Ends Our Night" was specifically referring to that ONE concert that Last Rights played. Also, check out Dinosaur Jr.'s cover of "Chunks", it's really good, even if you don't like Dinosaur Jr., I think you might still enjoy this cover... Lou Barlow sings it. You won't be blowing "Chunks" all over your record player/keyboard. It's short, fun, rockin', got great riffs, fast, angry, but with just enough positivity, it's hardcore, man! So play these songs for all your friends, kiddiez. I'll try to review the full-length album by the band later.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Review #186: White Shit - White Shi'ite (EP) (2010)


Year: 2010
Genre: Hardcore Punk
Label: Wantage USA

7 Minutes
My Rating:

Oh, hey there, you swarthy fuxx! I just got back from being IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. That really sucked, man. Anyways, time to get back on track with my reviews... White Shit is a sort of recent discovery of mine, and it's another musical contribution from Jared Warren and Coady Willis, who are also in Big Business and even the Melvins! Anyways, this is their second or third release... it's 10 inches... and, uh... well, just look at that cover art! If this band were more well-known, they'd be in deep shit... WHITE deep SHIT... either from a gang of enraged Muslim extremist or a mainstream media outlet afraid of gangs of enraged Muslim extremists! Anyways, time to listen to the record.

1. Surface Zen
Jared sounds a little bit like D Boon (probably the second singer in a band I've compared to him). Or maybe I actually forget what D Boon sounds like since I have not listened to the Minutemen in awhile. Anyways, the song is fast, and the riffs are two-chord progressions punctuated by a blitz of lead guitar notes. Halfway through the song, it slows down to about half as fast, and then even slower. Then there's a guitar solo and a cool drum beat. The song ends real abruptly after this part.

2. Shitted Out
Shitted out... just like MUHAMMAD himself. No, really, one day Jared and Coady were out at a Mexican restaurant and they ate a lot of spicy food and drank some magical soda that nobody even remembers what it was called, but they got really stuffed full of Mexican food and then they both had to take a shit, so when they started shitting they ended up shitting out this song! Really grimy and dischordant-sounding chords pound in the beginning part of the song with a lead-guitar melody. This song's not as fast as the first song, some parts are real slow and heavy-metal style, and some parts are more just regular tempo. The lyrics are an enactment of a woman bringing her son into the doctor's office, and the doctor tells her that her son is actually a prehistoric ape-man, and "in his personal and professional opinion", that she is probably also one, likewise -- 'cuz BANANAS DON'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE, AHAHOHAHOHAHAHAHA. End of Side A.

3. Fire (Gism)
The drums sound cool here for some reason. Fast beat. Lots of hissing and quacking noises around the background. Jared's voice sounds FUCKING AWESOME here... he sounds like a screaming, groaning MONSTER, man! It's great. DOOO-NEOOOWWWW-DEEEEE-NEEOOOWWWW... excellent singing, great drumming, weird dischordant lead guitar, and a nice simple riff. Maybe the hissing sounds are a firecracker being thrown off and into the audience, actually. Hell if I know!

So, that is WHITE... SHI'ITE... please give this record to all of your Muslamic friends, NOW. The music is pretty hardcore-sounding, but with a more experimental spin and apparently a good sense of humor as well. This is actually the only White Shit release I've ever heard and I checked it out because the cover art looked cool. And it's pretty good. So that's all I have to say. And "Fire (Gism)" is the best song, by the way.