DEATH RULES THE FAIRWAY (EP)Year: 1985
Genre: Punk Rock
Label: DSI Records
Tracks: 6
Length: 9 Minutes
Style: Funny
My Rating: 6/8
Y'alls have probably heard of the legendary dead dog-raping, baby-killing mutated band from Antarctica known as GWAR, and if you know about THEM you might also know about Dave Brockie's (who NEVER EVER sang for GWAR at all) "involvement" with the band, and, well, before GWAR, and even parallel to GWAR in their first few years, he was also in a band called "Death Piggy". The first Death Piggy EP (which was reviewed on the site earlier this year) was mostly fast, funny, food-oriented hardcore punk, and this is the second Death Piggy EP which is a bit more musically distinct (even moreso than already) than "Love War", and the songs are slower and more just straight-forward funny funky punky rock. So let's review, shall we?
1. Welcome
Fast with a lead guitar riff, and this is interrupted for Dave talking in a hilariously lethargic voice to say "WELCOME TO THE RECORD. ONE TWO THREE FOUR.", and then the music continues. Not for long, though.
2. Boner
This one is a laugh-out-loud riot fuckfest. Styled vaguely after '50s rock & roll, this song's about a guy with a boner so big that it causes women all over the world to become immensely horny! Here's just one really funny line from the song: "Y'KNOW HE'S COMIN', HE'S COMIN' TO TOWN -- AND WHEN HE GETS HERE, HE'S GONNA FUCK YOU". What a boneriffic little tune!
3. Showbiz
This one has a really cool weird lead guitar riff and a nice little bass guitar melody as well. This song tells people to come down to where "all your friends live", which is Showbiz... Showbiz Pizza?? Home of the animatronic rock band, the "Rock-a-Fire Explosion"?! God damn, how'd I be for sure? Yep, he even guarantees a great birthday experience there.
4. Dinner in the Morning
This is a faster song about eating dinner at all of the different times of day. Dave sings in a very bizarre falsetto voice during random points of the song and expresses his wish to be a supervisor. He does kind of sound a bit like Jello Biafra. And that's the end of Side A.
5. Whippin' Round the Bay
What does "whipping 'round the bay" even mean? Golly, why don't someone tell me already? Anyways, this song is a bit more of an emotional moment, but still humorous, lyrically. There's lots of sounds of seagulls and ocean waves, and the song starts out acoustic and then segues into an electric melody with swooping lead guitar bits and it has a really good, touching melody that kinda melts your soul a little bit. "I've got Daddy's charge card, hey hey hey hey...". LUMPY LUMPY LUMPY LUMPY. This is the longest song on the EP, being almost four minutes long.
6. Ceramic Butt
The guitar sounds real fuzzed-out and awesome. And the beat is about as cool as they come. The lyrics are real surrealistic and it's all totally cool, but unfortunately, the song fades out a little too soon.
Well, that's all for now. The record is sadly long out of print and very rare, and its songs (as well as everything else by Death Piggy) can be found on a compilation CD known as "Smile or Die", which in turn is also out of print and quite rare, so FUCK ME IN THE ASS WITH A NIPPLE SANDWICH gee, that really sucks. But you'll probably find it somewhere eventually, or just do what I did and illegally download it -- TAKE THAT, ALL YOUR HARD WORK YOU SLAVED AWAY FOR JUST TO PUT OUT A COUPLE DEATH PIGGY RECORDS IN THE '80S AND I SHAT UPON IT BY DEFILING THE CAPITALIST SYSTEM BY WHICH YOUR LIFE DEPENDS, DAVID BROCKIE... no, I didn't mean that. Life iz good. But anyways, yeah, it's crazier n' funnier than the first one. It's like, it's FUNNY, and it's PUNK, so you could really call it "FUNK", but that's already the name of a musical genre SO I GUESS WE'RE PRETTY DERN SCREWED IN THIS CASE, BUDDY.
Top 3 Favorites:
1. Whippin' Round the Bay
2. Boner
3. Ceramic Butt
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