Review #200: The Accüsed - Martha Splatterhead 12" (1985)

MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD (EP)

Year: 1985

Genre: Hardcore Punk/Thrash Metal
Label: Condor Records
Tracks: 5
Length: 11 Minutes
Style: Violent/Angry
My Rating: 6/8

The Accüsed formed in 1981 and were a part of the early Seattle hardcore scene. Their first record they put out was a split album with the Rejectors (which I already reviewed a few months ago), and the songs were in a typical hardcore punk style. Their original vocalist was John Dahlin, whose work with the band can also be found on their even earlier demo tapes. In mid-1984, the band started to shift their musical style more towards thrash/speed-metal, and with old Johhnyboy unhappy with this change, he was replaced as singer by Blaine Cook, the more notorious singer for the band. Blaine's vocal style is more evil/brutal-sounding, suitable for the more aggressive new sound, I suppose. Like the first album, this EP was only pressed 500 times, so it is extremely rare, but luckily you can find a few places to download it on the internet. Physical copies of the record sell for hundreds of dollars! Also, this record marks the first mention/"appearance" of MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD, the band's mascot -- a zombie/punk type of monster that kills sexual predators for fun and just might kill you too if you get in her way!

1. Distractions
Very fast, as you might expect! The verse riff is pretty awesome-sounding, indeed! The guitar tone is deeper and thicker than it was in the previous Accüsed release. Then there's a real awesome-sounding slow part in the middle with a guitar solo! The riffs here just fucking rock.

2. Martha Splatterhead
You hear somebody whisper in a hilarious girly voice, "MARTHA..." -- then things really get loud! This is the first song about Martha Splatterhead the band wrote, I'm pretty sure. Really fast like the previous song. "HUMAN FLESH... RIPPED APART!!". Blaine's vocals are just as violent as the lyrics themselves. The guitar being played by mister Tommy Niemeyer just SHREDS through yer skull. End of Side A.

3. Slow Death
Starts off slow... then a faster guitar riff plays and Blainey C'mplainey screams... you know the drill. Good guitar riff. Blaine does this sort of menacing fucked-up growl... it sounds awesome. Slow part in the middle (kind of like the beginning of the song). THENITGETSREALLYFUCKINGFASTAGAINBECUZWEREAHARDCOREBANDANDWEONLYPLAYREALLYFASTRGIHT?????????
SLOW DEATH!

4. Take My Time
Another growl and fast heavy metal riff. The verse riff here is really awesome! In the chorus part, another member of the band (not sure which one) sings "TAKE MY TIME", and Blaine's lines alternate with this one. In the mid-section there's a part only half as fast with another cool-sounding guitar riff. THEN BACK TO THE CHORUS ONE MORE TIME, FUCKERS!! HURRAY.

5. Fucks 4 Bucks
The song opens with some lines from Mr. Dr. Sr. (that stands for "Sinister", not "Senior"), Doctor Sinister. I think he also said he was a MOLESTER... HIDE YOUR CHILDREN! HIDE YOUR YOUTHS! WE'VE ALREADY GOT A MOLESTED YOUTH, REMEMBER??!! The band/whoever's supposed to be the people who are "fucking for bucks" in this song... probably the band, because THEY ARE REALLY HORNEY PEOPLE. Yeah, they're fucking for bucks. Slow part in the middle with a real cool guitar riff. But now it's all over. Bye-bye. Doesn't that make you SO SAD? Why don't you just go FIND THE ACCUSED, THEN?? FUCK FOR BUCKS! Here's the band's address if you want to fuck 4 bucks with them:

SHIT, I CAN'T FIND THEIR GODDAMNED ADDRESS!

So here's their e-mail address... you'll just have to settle for this:

booking@splatterrock.com

Tell them you want them to tour your pen0r/vagin0r. hehehehehehe

Anyways, that was a pretty good listen, don'tcha think? Musically it's not really too different from most crossover-thrash bands of the mid 1980s but the band has much more personality and particularity than a lot of the other bands... they like their politics but they also like their SPLATTER-ROCK! I really really admire Blaine's vocal style, it sounds so wild and it gives you the mental idea that they live and breathe the lifestyle of their EP's namesake... the riffs are real good, the music is fast and intense, and when it's not it's just slow and intense. For those of you who have really bad attention-spans it's not very long either, but the songs aren't so short that you barely get to appreciate them. My favorite songs on this record are "Distractions", Take My Time", and "Slow Death". Oh, and just to let you know, the sound quality on this record is really grainy and underproduced so don't expect anything that sounds real crisp sound-wise. Anyways, if you like it when punk meets metal and then they both get decapitated by vengeful zombies, then this is for you!