Review #202: The Mentors - Get Up and Die 12" (1981)

GET UP AND DIE (EP)

Year: 1981

Genre: Punk Rock
Label: Mystic Records
Tracks: 4
Length: 15 Minutes
My Rating: 7/8

THE MENTORS... the world's one-and-only and most important RAPE ROCK band! That's right, these guys drink lots of booze, fuck sluts, hate glam-rock and new wave pussies, bash fags, and of course, RAPE!! Peaceable rape, of course... like, if the girl's knocked out on drugs and stuff. But yeah, this group is right up there with GG Allin as one of the most offensive rock groups of the '80s and '90s -- no, he didn't throw shit at people on stage and eat it and roll around in it (though one time El Duce did accidentally shit himself on-stage while completely hammered), but the guy was pretty FUCKED. Tehehehe. He did like to fuck lotsa girlies. The Mentors really are probably THE anti-wuss band. Absolutely NO pretensions, a very unglamorous macho hillbilly frontman, and the lyrics are about as politically incorrect as you can get... but they are hilarious. And a sense of humor is something that people who are offended by everything lack. Most music made by the Mentors falls under the metal category, but this first EP from the Mentors is closer to punk. And that's the scene the Mentors were apart of anyways, since they were far too crazy for the heshers and "glam rock fags" as the band called them. The band formed in 1977 in Seattle, Washington, and consisted of El Duce (drums/vocals), Sickie Wifebeater (guitar), and Steve Broy (bass guitar). So let's listen to this musical geniousity probably barfed out by El Duce, the band's charismatic vocalist/drummer one night after too much to drink...

1. Peepin' Tom
Pretty good guitar riff. El Duce's vocals sound about as crazed-drunken-redneck as you can get and it totally fits the sound and attitude of the music. I love it! The chorus has a real catchy riff and the line there goes "I'M A-PEEPIN... I'M A-PEEPIN' TOM!". Also just listen to that lead guitar. It sounds fucking awesome... "I'M A PEEPIN'... I'M-A-PEEPIN' ON YER MOM!". The song's about spying on nude women through their windows and getting off while doing it.

2. Get Up and Die
Favorite song on the record. In this song, Mr. Duce commands the death of all new wavers. "I wanna see NEW WAVE DEATH!". There's some chorus vocals from El Duce which from a technical point sound absolutely terrible, but they still sound good and fit the grimy sleazy booze/drugs/cigarettes atmosphere. The lead guitar is awesome. The guitar riff is really really good to listen to. So listen to it, man! Very good song... End of Side A.

3. Woman From Sodom
The song starts out kinda slow like the last two songs but it gets a little faster after the intro. This song is about wanting a woman willing to have anal sex with you... and according to this song the best place to find one of them is... SODOM! Because all of the girls "let you in their bottom" over there. The chorus iz cool-sounding. "She begged me, MASTER DON'T BE MEAN! I said SHUT UP, I'VE GOT THE VASELINE!" -- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! At the part at the end where they repeat the intro part and El Duce's groaning through the vocal melody, he really starts to sound like he's constipated and taking a huge shit! This song's the longest one on the record. Five minutes long.

4. Going Through Your Purse
This song is the "story of how the Mentors got all their glory". This song's about the band luring women into having sex with them so they could steal money out of their purses while they were distracted. "There was this chick, she was with this chump/that's the kind of girl I'd like to take home and hump"... goddamn, these lyrics are comedy gold. The guitar solo in the middle is kinda simple but I like it. They like to eat a lot of food... so do I!!! The Mentors continue to explain why they need more money to have fun and do a lot of stuff as the song fades out...

Now the record is over. I guess it was re-released a few times under different names such as "Trash Bag" and "Value Pack" and then it was re-released with a copy of another 7" EP. The band's lyrics are very offensive to most, but also extremely funny. It is unknown whether or not El Duce was completely serious about his supposed rapist lifestyle, but I'm just gonna trust the songs and say he was. HA. And of course everyone knows about his whole supposed involvement in Kurt Cobain's suicide... but alas, we will never know the complete truth because he's dead now. The man was hit by a train while drunk one night in 1997... but at least he left behind something to be remembered by. But anyways, enjoy this album when you get a chance to hear it. It's actually pretty good. Good, clean, sexist, homophobic, drug-abusing family fun! Also click on the videos down below for some fucking hilarious El Duce/Mentors television appearances...

GREAT MENTORS T.V. MOMENTS: