YUKON FANG (Single)
Genre: Punk Rock
Length: 7 Minutes
My Rating: 6/8
OH. HI. HI THERE. I'M SORRY ID IDN'T SEE YOU THERE... I AM RAERALLY SORRY, MY GOOD SIR. OH. HI. HI AGAIN. THIS IS ME. TYPING. HI. HI AGAIN. HI THERE. THIS IS MY REVIEW OF THE BAND FANG. THEY ARE A PONK RONK BONK THAT STOITED AUT IN ABOUT 1980 AND THEY HAD THEIR OWWWWN RECORD LABEL CALLED... WAIT FOR IT, WAIT FOR IT...
BONER RECORDS, FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...ANYWAYS, THEY WERE NOT ON THE BONNER RECORDS LABEL WHEN THEY RELAEASED TGEHEIR FIRST 7-INCH FLATTENED CHODE. THEY WERE ON A RECORD LABEL KKKALLED "FLACID PENNIS WRECK(AS IN TO "WRECK" SOMEONE'S ANUS WITH YOUR CAULK) CORDS"... but not really. I DUNNO WHAT THIS LABEL WAS CALLED. ANYWAYS, THE BAND WERE SKIN-HEADS I THINK (OI OI OI) AND THEY COUNTER-ACTED THE POLITICALLY CORRECT LIBERAL ATTITUDE OF THE BERKLEY CALIFORNIA SCENE BY SINGING AT TIMES VERY POLITIKKKALLY INKKKORECT(ION) LYRIKKKX AND THEY PLAYED THEIR MUSIC MUCH SLAAAOUUUWER THAN MOST OF THE TOAST. ANYWAYS, ON WITH... THE REVIEW. BOYS AND GIRLS... boys and girls... hop inside of my anus and we shall venture on to find out what lays in store next, for the LAND OF MAGIC.
1. Yukon Fang
I'm pretty sure that "Yukon" is also a kind of potato... like, the "Yukon Gold Potatoes". The song has a pretty cool bass riff and a slow beat. There's not really any rhythm guitar chords, just some plinking at a semi-muted note. Sam McBride (the singer) has a pretty good voice. He doesn't sound all Bri'ish-soundin' like he does on the band's first album, "Land Shark". 'CUZ HE'S REALLY A KALIFLORNIAN... POSER!!!! POSER!!!! SAMMYTOWN WAS A FUCKING POSER BECAUSE HE SANG WITH A BRITISH ACCENT AND HE'S NOT FROM BRITAIN! LYNCH!!!! No, not really. I don't give a shit what he sounds like as long as he sounds good. Actually, Flipper had this sort of deal about them, also... not sure what was up with that, either. It's a relatively calm song... the kind you can just smoke/drink to and wallow in self-pity or whatever bullshit you got UP YER SLEEVES TODAY!!!!!! Now, for the B-side...
2. Enjoy the View
The beat is really cool in the beginning of this song. The guitar makes really cool sounds... in the chorus part the beat is twice as fast. Sam sings in a really throaty, loud-sounding voice as opposed to the calm voice he sings with in the other song. There's some kind of avant-garde lead guitar stuff going on off in yer left ear... and in the center of your hearing scope it just repeats one icy-sounding chord. Someone's responsible for all yer failures, gotta use yer hatred SOMEHOWW...
It's a pretty good record. If you feel lonely or isolated, it especially sounds good. Actually, I've been real depressed for the past few days and just tonight I feel like my old happy self again, and that is a good thing. Even music can't help you when you feel like that. Anyways, y'alls probably know about SLAMMYMCSAMMYMCSAMMYTOWNMCBRIDE killin' his girlfriend and only doing 6 years in prison for it... yeah, Fang are still around and playing shows after 30 years... sounds like a long time now, doesn't it? DOESN'T IT?? Well, having only heard their songs from LAND SHARK prior to this, this sounds a lot different. LAND SHARK sounds more hardcore, but this reminds me of Flipper, but less intense. The first song is devoid of really sounding that intense, it's more of an introspective tune... the other one is also, but it's got more of that rock n' roll energy to it. You can really bang your head to both of 'em. The first one just seems like a late night drinking sort of song. The album that comes after this one, LAND SHARK... they sound more "hard" there and they sing more about being a bad-ass and driving fast cars and stuff. Actually, it hardly sounds like the same band, but it iz. Anyways, that's all I have to say for now. Actually, I just realized that the bass riff for "Enjoy the View" sounds just like this:
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