Thursday, May 13, 2010

Review #111: Molested Youth - Demo (EP) (2008)


Year: 2008
Genre: Punk Rock
Label: Deranged Records

6 Minutes (Very Short)
My Rating:

You've got your Reagan Youth, Sonic Youth, Youth Brigade, Wasted Youth, Social Youth (what?), Musical Youth, etc... You(th) knew that this one was coming. They're not Ronald Reagan's equivalent to the Hitler Youth... they're not a BRIGADE of youth... they're not a bunch of youth whose youth has been wasted (or they spent all of their youth GETTING wasted), and, well, they're not very social either. Neither are they blue hedgehogs. No, these ones are some Grade-A, run-of-the-mill MOLESTERED YOUTH! These kidz are have just been totally MOLESTED and damn, are they pissed. So they started a fucking BAND! Called MOLESTED YOUTH. Like, we've had all of these bands that put the word "youth" after some dignified or at least austere adjective. Y'know, "man, those poor kids really had their youth WASTED by the great depression of 2060" or "the YOUTH BRIGADE will solve all our problems of the future", or something like that. Y'know. All PxOxSxIxTxIxVxE and HxAxRxDxCxOxRxExxPxUxNxX n' stuff like that. Like, with a lot of X's and not doing drugs and having really short hair and WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN TALKING ABOUT??!! Yeah man, MOLESTED YOUTH. Now, some of you might get a lil' offended by this, but I was fucking MOLESTED as a YOUTH by MICHAEL JACKSON. YESTERDAY. I'm pretty pissed off myself, now. Know why, kidz? 'Cause yesterday a dead pop-star just choked my balls out my own mouth sideways in a little act of reverse-necrophagy. Now I'm mad 'cause Michael Jackson molested me. I think I'm gonna get my anger out and dance around like an autistic kid having a seizure (a straight-edge seizure at that) and listen to some Goddamn MOE-LEST'D YOUT!

On a slightly more coherent note, Molested Youth is a Canadian hardcore punk band that formed in 2008. From Toronto. This iz their first release (it's really just a demo), and they have another tape after this called "The Fountain of Molested Youth", but apparently that fount's run dry 'cause I can't get a drink so I'll have to just stick with this glass o' H2O by my side for now... nothin' but the blooooood ooooffffff JEEEEEEEEEEEZUSS KA-RIGHST-AH!!!!! YEAHYEAHYEAHEYAHYEAHYEAHEYEAHYEAH!!!!! I WILL NEVAH GO THIRSTY AGAIN, NAUW. Well, now that that's outta the way, I think I'm gonna go molest some youths -- I mean, review a Molested Youth record.

1. Watch Me Rise
The song starts out with a single electric guitar being played. In a totally fuzzed-out wayed. Man. Man-O-E-Man-O. Mano e Mano. Mano. After almost a minute of this (the guitar part), the drums fade in, and the pounding beat builds up until a peak where it just crashes to a slow rhythm. Then the first verse begins, where the beat iz fast and the singer, Sean, sings stuff like "WHAT ARE WE ALL FIGHTING FOR?" and stuff like that. Nice variation of tempo in some parts. This is a very good song. Longest one on the demo, being two and a half minutes long.

2. Rat in a Cage
This song begins with a short, slow, bassy intro (no rhythm guitar yet). And the like a raging caged rat, the song goes off into ultrathrash500000 mode, with the fast beat and angry vocals and yeah, it's pretty legitty and stuff. The chorus just goes "rat in a cage". I'll bet these guys are pretty awesome-o live.

3. Break It
Once again, slow intro. This time, the intro has a rhythm guitar riff. It happens to just be a slower version of the main riff. The verse part of the song is fast, but the chorus is ultra-slow. The later part of the chorus slowly builds up and increases in speed until we're back at the lightspeed fury of the verse.

4. !!Shining Light
Fastest one here! The verse is fast (and fucking awesome), and the mid-section is slow. The riff is really awesome, here. This is the shortest song on the album; less than a minute long.

If you want some new, authentic, awesome, ferocious hardcore, look no further than here! The demo can be downloaded for free off of their Last.FM page. The audio cassette version, which costed about $2 is now out of print, so just go fer the gold, young molesters! By the way, the band's line-up iz: Sean (vocals), Seabreeze Malone (guitar), Warren (bass), and Zack (drums). So give this one a listen and have fun with it (maybe even have sex with it). It should not let ya down, buddy. And yes, I made my own cover for it because there is no official cover.


  1. Demented Youth, Impatient Youth, Youth Youth Youth...........
    this seems interesting. where can i get this demo? these songs werent on their myspace site.

  2. ssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhht nevermind i see you wrote its downloadable on

  3. the riff in shining light is fucking mean like a cat who uses every other smaller creature as it's playthings

  4. Yeah, smaller creatures such as a RAT IN A CAGE!