Sunday, December 20, 2009

Review #4: Pissed Jeans - King of Jeans (2009)


Year: 2009
Genre: Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Noise, Hardcore
Label: Sub-Pop Records
Tracks: 12
Length: 39 Minutes (Long)
Style: Angry/Weird/Bleak
My Rating: 5/8

In the age where edgy, weird rock music has been largely supplanted by the nonthreatening, the pretentious, and the plastic. However, Pissed Jeans is one of the few new bands that has what all of these other new groups are lacking, and one of the most well-known of these superior bands. Pissed Jeans is a noise-rock band from Pennsylvania that formed in the earlier part of this decade, has released two singles and three albums (the other two will be reviewed in not too long). The band plays aggressive, sludgy (but sometimes fast) noise-punk that sings about the woes of mundane activies such as scrap-booking, as well as things a lot of us can relate to, like being unable to get laid. However, the seemingly stupid lyrics are less important than the awesome music that accompanies it.

"King of Jeans" is the newest Pissed Jeans album, and its music has elements of hardcore, noise, and grunge, but it is not just another rip-off, which is a very good thing. Well, I should probably get on with the review, so I'm not holding you off too much. Here goes...

1. False Jesii, Part 2
In case you're wondering where the hell "False Jesii Part 1" is, it was actually a song by the 1980s band, Teenage Depression. But now, Pissed Jeans has made its own "sequel" to the song, which is a mid-tempo, relatively linear punk song. The chorus, however, seems to simply just be Bradley Fry making the sound "aaauauagajauauajgauauagjhhh", which actually sounds pretty cool, to be honest. He also says "hello", a lot. Maybe he keeps forgetting that we're already aware that he is singing the song!

2. Half Idiot
This is a song with a less conventional beat, and it has a sort of ominous-sounding bassline, as well as little squigglets of guitar noise in the verses. I guess Bradley thinks that his I.Q. is 60, because that would be halfway to "idiot" on the old-fashioned mental deficiency scale.

3. Dream Smotherer
In this song, Bradley sings about not needing a dream smotherer, and generally not caring about miniscule issues. You ever hear him attempt to SING! There is also a pretty neat bridge, with a solo in this song.

4. Pleasure Race
Begins with a legit yelled part (without any percussion or bass), and it's generally a slow song. I get the impression that it is about the male obsession with sex, and how it is one of our main drives, even when only SOMETIMES it ends really great.

5. She is Science Ficition
This one has a sweet riff that reminds me of some sort punk-rock dinosaur with sharp teeth that eats pterodactyls or something. There's even weird little "weo-weo-weo-weo" effects in it. There are parts of the song that remind me of an Melvins song from the late '80s. I think this song is about the singer wanting a chick to hold his hand and do a bunch of science-fictiony stuff with him.

6. Request for Masseuese
SLUDGE!! The song starts with a very slow bassline that makes you feel like you're slowly drowning in that one poisonous lake that's in Africa that actually emits deadly fumes, it's so poisonous. It's just like drowning in sludge. The song is actually just about what Bradley wants to a masseuese to do to him, 'cause, like, he probably has a really achy, tense back and stuff like that. The song gets louder about 2/3 through. You can hear him moan in pleasure from the massage. Hell, he was probably actually getting massaged when they recorded this song.

7. Human Upskirt
This is another fast one! I dunno what this one's about, but it's probably about the fact that a lot of humans (a.k.a. homo-sapiens) wear skirts, and that it is actually possible to look up them. But yeah, this song is pretty badass, and recommended for fast-dancing.

8. Lip-Ring
I can relate to this one. This is because I too find it very attractive when a girl is wearing a lip ring. I have a thing for a lip ring. I think he said that the chick also had a spiked bracelet. But this song is a little slower, but not too slow. You could probably still slam to it if ya really wanted to. The verses are more bass-driven, but the chorus is driven by a really cool riff.

9. Spent
This one sorta reminds me of Black Flag or the Melvins. Just something about it, I suppose. Starts sorta mellow, with just a fuzzed-out guitar, but after over a minute of just that, the drums and bass kick in, and then it's all good... until the guitarist shoots out a sonic blast of guitar-noise-rays, and then Bradley Fry starts singing about the fact that he just doesn't feel motivated to do anything, anymore. It's extremely slow, but then towards the end of the song, it gets a tiny bit faster. Then he starts saying "spent" a lot. Longest song on the album.

10. R-Rated Movie
After that really slow one, this is a faster one. It's about going to an R-rated movie out of boredom and enjoying it for the violence and sex.

11. Dominate Yourself
Now HERE is a concept that I have never tried before... dominating YOURSELF!! Well, here, Bradley gives instructions on how to do this to some hardcore-soundin' background music. You should try listening to this while actually dominating yourself! Get back to me on that one, and tell me how eet goes!

12. Goodbye (Hair)
A sad, slow song about sadly saying goodbye to your hair when you start getting bald and stuff. Actually pretty depressing to think about. This whole album has a lot of depressing stuff in it. But, it's true. The typical person's life just isn't that exciting.

It's a solid effort from Pissed Jeans. Not as great as their first album, but it's still worth listening to; it's got its equal share of fast, angry stuff, and slow stuff that both reflect the somewhat hopeless nature of life for people who aren't exactly living high on the hog and such. It's just too bad they didn't make a music video for a song off of this one. The one they did for their last album was pretty funny!
Adios, amigoeeeesssadfsafsdfsdfsdfgfsdgdfgdflkgdfl;gk;lKLSDKFGSL;DKFSD'GL;FD
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