Genre: Hardcore Punk/Thrash Metal Label: Condor Records Tracks: 5 Length: 11 Minutes Style:Violent/Angry My Rating: 6/8
The Accüsed formed in 1981 and were a part of the early Seattle hardcore scene. Their first record they put out was a split album with the Rejectors (which I already reviewed a few months ago), and the songs were in a typical hardcore punk style. Their original vocalist was John Dahlin, whose work with the band can also be found on their even earlier demo tapes. In mid-1984, the band started to shift their musical style more towards thrash/speed-metal, and with old Johhnyboy unhappy with this change, he was replaced as singer by Blaine Cook, the more notorious singer for the band. Blaine's vocal style is more evil/brutal-sounding, suitable for the more aggressive new sound, I suppose. Like the first album, this EP was only pressed 500 times, so it is extremely rare, but luckily you can find a few places to download it on the internet. Physical copies of the record sell for hundreds of dollars! Also, this record marks the first mention/"appearance" of MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD, the band's mascot -- a zombie/punk type of monster that kills sexual predators for fun and just might kill you too if you get in her way!
1. Distractions Very fast, as you might expect! The verse riff is pretty awesome-sounding, indeed! The guitar tone is deeper and thicker than it was in the previous Accüsed release. Then there's a real awesome-sounding slow part in the middle with a guitar solo! The riffs here just fucking rock.
2. Martha Splatterhead You hear somebody whisper in a hilarious girly voice, "MARTHA..." -- then things really get loud! This is the first song about Martha Splatterhead the band wrote, I'm pretty sure. Really fast like the previous song. "HUMAN FLESH... RIPPED APART!!". Blaine's vocals are just as violent as the lyrics themselves. The guitar being played by mister Tommy Niemeyer just SHREDS through yer skull. End of Side A.
3. Slow Death Starts off slow... then a faster guitar riff plays and Blainey C'mplainey screams... you know the drill. Good guitar riff. Blaine does this sort of menacing fucked-up growl... it sounds awesome. Slow part in the middle (kind of like the beginning of the song). THENITGETSREALLYFUCKINGFASTAGAINBECUZWEREAHARDCOREBANDANDWEONLYPLAYREALLYFASTRGIHT????????? SLOW DEATH!
4. Take My Time Another growl and fast heavy metal riff. The verse riff here is really awesome! In the chorus part, another member of the band (not sure which one) sings "TAKE MY TIME", and Blaine's lines alternate with this one. In the mid-section there's a part only half as fast with another cool-sounding guitar riff. THEN BACK TO THE CHORUS ONE MORE TIME, FUCKERS!! HURRAY.
5. Fucks 4 Bucks The song opens with some lines from Mr. Dr. Sr. (that stands for "Sinister", not "Senior"), Doctor Sinister. I think he also said he was a MOLESTER... HIDE YOUR CHILDREN! HIDE YOUR YOUTHS! WE'VE ALREADY GOT A MOLESTED YOUTH, REMEMBER??!! The band/whoever's supposed to be the people who are "fucking for bucks" in this song... probably the band, because THEY ARE REALLY HORNEY PEOPLE. Yeah, they're fucking for bucks. Slow part in the middle with a real cool guitar riff. But now it's all over. Bye-bye. Doesn't that make you SO SAD? Why don't you just go FIND THE ACCUSED, THEN?? FUCK FOR BUCKS! Here's the band's address if you want to fuck 4 bucks with them:
SHIT, I CAN'T FIND THEIR GODDAMNED ADDRESS!
So here's their e-mail address... you'll just have to settle for this:
booking@splatterrock.com
Tell them you want them to tour your pen0r/vagin0r.hehehehehehe
Anyways, that was a pretty good listen, don'tcha think? Musically it's not really too different from most crossover-thrash bands of the mid 1980s but the band has much more personality and particularity than a lot of the other bands... they like their politics but they also like their SPLATTER-ROCK! I really really admire Blaine's vocal style, it sounds so wild and it gives you the mental idea that they live and breathe the lifestyle of their EP's namesake... the riffs are real good, the music is fast and intense, and when it's not it's just slow and intense. For those of you who have really bad attention-spans it's not very long either, but the songs aren't so short that you barely get to appreciate them. My favorite songs on this record are "Distractions", Take My Time", and "Slow Death". Oh, and just to let you know, the sound quality on this record is really grainy and underproduced so don't expect anything that sounds real crisp sound-wise. Anyways, if you like it when punk meets metal and then they both get decapitated by vengeful zombies, then this is for you!
Genre: Hardcore Punk Label: No Way Records Tracks: 9 Length: 7 Minutes Style:Angry/Political My Rating: 5/8
Warkrime was a Jewish hardcore group from San Francisco, California. The band existed from 2004 to 2009 and were notorious for their offensive, pro-right-wing lyrics which did piss off much of the liberal Bay Area punk scene. The band has its origins in a band called "Brewtality" but the band split up just before their first show would have happened, so the future members of Warkrime relocated and started a new band. The band's line-up was... Brace (vocals), Max Apex (bass guitar), Adolf Edge (drums), and Duke Lacrosse (guitar). This was the first record the band put out and it was released on... wait for it, wait for it... dum-dum! No Way Records!
1. No More Starts out with an awesome riff that kinda squeaks up a little bit and it sounds real cool. The tempo gets faster and Brace's vocals are very angry and intense. Brace expresses his anger towards homeless drunks and how he doesn't want to live anymore because his life just sucks, man. Love how he sings. One of the best songs on the record.
2. Glass Parking One part in the song, Brace sings: "THE SWASTIKA, THE CROSS, ALLAH, THE BOSS... SIEG HEIL, YASSIR ARAFAT!". One slow part in the middle has a simple guitar solo. Even faster than the first song. The riff is also good to listen to. Best song on the album.
3. Longhairs A really short, street-punk type song making fun of hippies.
4. Give War a Chance A rare pro-war punk song! Instead of "give peace a chance", the band sings "give war a chance"! The part in the end of slow, and in this section Brace proclaims that necessity of war to get rid of us human cockroaches (hahah, "cock"). End of Side A.
5. Brat Camp Goddamn, the singing here is so fast that I don't even know what the fuck they're singing about at all. Maybe it's about war and stuff again.
6. Fuck It Brace sounds like Keith Morris in this song. In the verses, the riff is lead guitar-based. I like the bridge section. It has a cool riff. Fuck it, maaan...
7. Warkrime YAY! THE WARKRIME THEME SONG! In this song the band expresses their love of money and chicks. They explain how people try to tell them how "sexist, racist, and homophobic" people think they are.
8. Suburban Suicide Starts out with a mellow guitar tune. Then it segues into, whaddaya know, a very fast song. Very frustrated-sounding. Once again the lyrics are sung really really fast and stuff so I can't understand the lyrics.
9. Speed HOLY SHIT, and I was calling all of these other songs fast! This is the fastest song on the whole EP! The one line I can audibly make out is the group-shouted line, "SPEED KILLS WHO CARES?". Then the first part of the song is repeated again and then it's over.
So, that's the Warkrime EP. The band's music is pretty typical hardcore music but the singer has a good voice and you hear some pretty interesting stuff at times. They really do like to play fast... most of the songs on here are under a minute long. The band's politics seem to be pro-Israel, pro-war, and anti-Arab... I don't agree with war but at least this band's not just conforming to what every other hardcore band seems to do. That's a plus. One complaint of mine though is that the guitars are not mixed loud enough in the mix. It's a pet peeve of mine, guitar comes first as far as what's audible in a rock and roll record. If I could understand most of the lyrics I'd probably have more to say, but the band is more focused on the raw energy of their music. So, that's my review for the day. Listen to Warkrime if you wanna hear a new band.
Top 3 Favorites: 1. Glass Parking 2. No More 3. Speed
Genre: Punk Rock Label: Burn Books Records Tracks: 10 Length: 21 Minutes Style:Angry/Emotional My Rating: 7/8
Pregnant is a band that formed inside some women's belly in the year ouf oure Lourde, 2007. Some months later, the band fell out of her vagina in the form of a little baby in Brooklyn, New York, and then the baby was ripped into three pieces, and the pieces of ripped-up Baby Guts (also the name of a different band) regenerated into the life-forms known as Stefanie Bridges (bass), Kevin Manion (guitar/vocals), and Ian T. (drums). This was cool, and then the band started playing shows and then they recorded a 7" called "Wanna See My Gun". Then they recorded an album. This album. This was the album. This... IS the album. The band's musical style is kind of like a cross between Husker Du and the Foo Fighters. That's what it sounds like, at least. And they have really cool cover art for their album.
1. Real Talk A creepy cackling cave sound is heard. The singer really does sound like Dave Grohl at parts. The riff is pretty angry-sounding. And there's "oooooh-ooooooh" Beach Boy-like chorus vocals in the background. "NEVAH STARTEEEEYYYAAAHHHH"
2. Skin Display This song's kind of slow. One thing I noticed with the vocals here are that they're kind of layered/harmonized. It sounds pretty good. Kevin's voice is more gritty and Stefanie's voice is softer. I like the chorus riff and melody. YER SKIN IZ ON DISPLAY... SO GO DISPLAY MORE SKIN, BUDDY. Then Kevin coughs at the end of the song.
3. Wormie Who doesn't love a good wormie every now and then? Y'know, that REALLY REALLY REALLY fucked-up sex move called the "Wormie"? What? Never heard of it? If you have to ask... you'll never know. Bitch. But I've eaten worms plenty of times before, so I know a little bit about wormies. The non-sexual kind. If you find worms sexually attractive THEN YER A SICK BASTARD WHO SHOULD BE MUGGED/RAPED/SHOT/SENT TO HELL!!!!!!!! Anyways, this song is fast and it once again has a nice guitar riff... the rhythm guitar has a kind of jangly sound throughout the album and the bass is pretty thick and feels good on the ears. Great song.
4. Help This one's kind of happy-sounding and once again pretty melodic. For some reason the guitar-playing in the verse part of this song reminds me of a little trumpet-blower playing the trumpet really fast. And yet, there are no trumpets. Huh.
5. Toothache Begins with a scream. More angry-sounding. Did he just say "you've gotta eat yourself"? Man, what are they going to do when some kid is listening to this and takes those lyrics to heart and really DOES try to eat themself! THINK OF THE CHILLLDREN... End of Sied A.
6. Safe & Sound Faster. Angrily-yelled vocals in the verse part. Melodic Misfits-like singing in the chorus part. Towards the end of the song there's a part where there's this wave of static-sort-of-noise and it gets louder and louder until stopping at the final chorus.
7. Do You Feel It? This song rocks hard! The guitar melody is fucking awesome, the singing is awesome, the beat sounds cool, you've just gotta hear it! DO YOU HEAR IT?? HE DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN! STRAIGHT OUTTA THE HORSE'S MOUTH!! THE GUY WITH THE SWEATER AND THE RED HAIR... HE IS A HORSE! AND EVERYTHING HE'S SAYING IS STRAIGHT OUT OF HIS MOUTH! SO REMEMBER KIDZ TO NEVER LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH... alright, enough with the horsey jokes. The song transitions directly into the next song, "You Think".
8. You Think A fast song. The guitar riff in the very beginning goes well with the bass guitar. It's real awesome like the song before it and I like how the chorus riff goes... it kind of ascends upwards. Somewhat reminds me of the Germs. The guitar sound and the chord progressions.
9. You Give It to Me Cool drum beat. YOU GIVE IT TO ME, I GIVE IT TO YOU. It's pretty upbeat, but towards the end it gets more dissonant and noisy.
10. Wanna See My Gun? Starts out with a REALLY sexy-soundin' bass guitar riff. The song was originally on a 7" single that was the debut release from the band. I really love how he sings "I don't think this works anymore...". The beat is different-sounding and cool. After the first part, the song gets slower with echo-y vocals and no drum beat. Then the beat gets really fast in the next part after Kevin screams and then he starts singing more angrily this time around! There's even piano-playing in this part of the song... kind of reminds me of that one song at the end of Patti Smith's first album. Then Kevin says something like "ji" or "gun" or "jay" or something like that and his voice echoes all weird. And that's the end. Of the album. Kidz.
I'm a lot more impressed by this album than I thought I would be. The songwriting is awesome, the music might not be that "hardcore" but it sure does sound intense. I'd say it actually reminds me of a mix between the Germs and the Foo Fighters. Know what those two bands have in common? PAT SMEAR WAS IN BOTH OF THEM... which means that PREGNANT is essentially a CREATION of the deranged genious of PAT SMEAR!! Actually, I don't know if they listen to either of those bands, but they do sound good. A few of the songs are less entertaining than others, but by the second half of the album they've hit full throttle quality-wise. Most of the songs are pretty fast, a few of them are slow... the songs never get boringly repetitive, there's some cool effects used here n' there... I should try to buy this record, really. But if you don't have a record player, then you can just download one. But you should buy it sometime. Give the band some of YOUR HARD-EARNED MONEY YOU SLAVED AWAY AT!!! I dunno. Do what you want to. Violence. Violence. Violence. Doesn't make any sense. Violence. Violence. Violence. Do what you want to... and also, I just wanted to remind you how awesome I think the cover for this album is. Flying saucers exploding over a desert. That's just cool.
Top 3 Favorites: 1. Wanna See My Gun? 2. Do You Feel It? 3. You Think
Genre: Post-Punk/Heavy Metal/Hardcore Punk Label: C/Z Records Tracks: 14 Length: 43 Minutes Style:Emotional/Weird/Angry My Rating: 7/8
Look, I know I already wrote a review of this record, but I wrote that one over a year ago and my early reviews didn't do that record very much justice (just ice!), so I'm re-doing it because it's fun to revisit cool records like that anyways.
DEEP SIX is sort of like the first "grunge" record, not counting the first Green River album, because besides that album it was the first official appearance for many of the more famous northwest punk/metal bands such as Soundgarden, the Melvins, Malfunkshun, etc. And like the title suggests, there are SIX bands featured on this record, some contributing more than others. Also the debut release from C/Z Records, with the second being the first Melvins EP. You'll hear some early Green River tunes, the Melvins still in their hardcore punk mode, a very lo-fi Soundgarden, one wild U-Men tune, and some of only Malfunkshun songs ever released in Andrew Wood's lifetime. Also Skin Yard with saxophones! These six bands all visited the Ironwood Studios in Seattle, Washington and recorded some songs, because very few labels were around to make records for the bands so this was a first opportunity for many of the Seattle rock bands that didn't fall into the other aging scenes. Look, "GRUNGE" is just a term made up by the mainstream media who were and have always been oblivious to the idea of punk authenticity and the idea that not every style of music has a super-specific sound. Metal isn't ONLY just angry guys wearing all black groaning about Satan and punk isn't ONLY just people with mohawks playing really fast music about anarchy. The mainstream media, unaware of this concept, because all of these new bands weren't living stereotypes, dubbed it "grunge" because the only stereotype you could pin on '90s underground rock bands were that they all looked kind of "grungy". Green River didn't come up with the term, they said, "PURE GRUNGE! PURE SHIT!" -- it was a joke, "grunge" was originally a term for grime and dirt, very fitting in this context. Nirvana? Heavy version of the Beatles. Alice in Chains? Soundgarden? Sound like fucking Black Sabbath. Pearl Jam? '70s hard rock with twangy vocals. Mudhoney? A really good Stooges rip-off. You see where I'm getting at here. These bands were essentially revisiting styles of music that already existed but actually managed to sound original because. But they had nothing in common besides taking a lot of cues from '70s heavy metal. Anyways, who cares? Apparently I cared enough to write all that, so there's yer answer, dudde. "Dudde". "Dudde Castles". "Come see them". "The Dudde Castles, a historical site for your viewing pleasure, eeeheheheheee!!".
Well, where was I going with this? Oh yes, Deep Six! It's got songs from all six bands, so let's cut to the chase and start listening to DEEP SIX, shall we? Okay. Here we go. One two three four five six seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty One. Twenty Two. Twenty Three. Twenty Four. Twenty Five. Twenty Six. Twenty Seven. Twenty Eight. Twenty Nine. Thirty. Thirty One. Thirty Two. Thirty Three. Thirty Four. Thirty Five. Thirty Six. Thirty Seven. Thirty Eight. Thirty Nine. Forty. Forty One. Forty Two. Forty Three. Forty Four. Forty Five. Forty Six. Forty Seven. Forty Eight. Forty Nine. Fifty. Fifty One. Fifty Two. Fifty Three. Fifty Four. Fifty Five. Fifty Six. Fifty Seven. Fifty Eight. Fifty Nine. Sixty. Sixty One. Sixty Two. Sixty Three. Sixty Four. Sixty Five. Sixty Six. Sixty Seven. Sixty Eight. Sixty Nine.
1. Green River - "10,000 Things" First off is a Green River song. Called 10,000 Things. That's more things than I just counted in that last paragraph! Marky Army sings about having "10,000 things chasing him"... now just imagine that when he said "things" he was talking about "pennises". HAHEHEHEHEHEHO. It's a pretty nice angsty hard rock tune. Great heavy riffs, nice guitar-playing, the tempo has just enough energy to it. Mark's voice sounds like Iggy Pop. The guitar solos are absolutely beautiful. This whole song just rocks, man! I just really love that middle section with the guitar solo. OOOWWWUUUAIIAIIAIIIAIIIII!!!! Apparently he's even got "things crawling out his arm"... isn't that hilarious??!! A lovely song for yer heart n' soul.
2. Melvins - "Scared" The... MELVINS!! YAY!! This wasn't actually the first recorded appearance of the Melvins like a lot of people believe because they had some songs on two K Records compilation tapes a year prior. This song is a little slower but definitely not "Melvins slow". The riff is hacks away at the melodic void like a crazy fuzzed-out chainsaw and the intro riff is awesome, with some corny chime sounds and some "whoo whoop whoop"s thrown in for good measure. I absolutely love it. It reminds me a little bit of the riff for "I Saw Your Mommy" by Suicidal Tendencies but better! After this part, Matt Lukin starts playing a very speedy bass riff but the song anti-climaxes back into a mid-tempo funk with a more down-beat guitar riff, and King Buzzo supplies some of the most cartoonishly awesome vocals you'll hear, with his voice pitch going all over the charts, from Bugs Bunny to Cookie Monster. Hah! I really love that. I also like the one part where the whole band shouts "DO IT!"... really fun song. At the end of the song, the band plays a similar section to the intro but in a few steps down and then they all shout "SCARED!!". And that's all there is. There isn't. Any more.
3. Melvins - "Blessing the Operation" This one's really fast! One of the fastest hardcore songs you'll hear, and it's by the Melvins! The whole song is loaded with energy, from the drumming, the vocals, the bass, the guitar... all complete sonic fury! The lyrics seem to allude to the fundamentalist religious-leaning policies of Ronald Reagan in the 1980s. But it's just an amazing song! There's a demo version of this on the Melvins album "26 Songs", also.
4. Malfunkshun - "With Yo' Heart (Not Yo' Hands)" This is a slow song and when I listen to it again it kind of reminds me of Black Sabbath with a more glam rock edge. UH-ONE-TIME!!! Andrew Wood (frontman/vocalist of the band) has a voice that goes from a rough Seattle twang to a wispy falsetto. Pretty good drumming, allso. There's sort of a trippy thing of lead guitar floating around the very top of your head like little ghosts. Real angry-sounding fucked up guitar riff in the chorus.
5. Skin Yard - "Throb" Starts out with a simple bass guitar riff and some psychedelic-sounding guitar fading in and out, before heading into full intensity, with loud yet pretty-sounding electric guitar, an angry bass riff, tortured vocals, and a slow beat. This one's real good-sounding. Excellent melodies all around... prepare to be in for something else when hearing Throb!
6. Soundgarden - "Heretic" Out of all of these bands, Soundgarden definitely became the most famous. They got signed to a major label first in the late '80s, they had two really famous albums, and they were pretty talented as well -- they got so famous that Chris Cornell actually thought it was a good idea about 12 years after they broke up to record an album with a lame "rap" artist that most Soundgarden fans wouldn't care for at all! But besides all that... this early incarnation of Soundgarden feels more punk than the metal sound they'd be later famous for. Chris doesn't belt out his mouthsounds as much as he just screams like a dying cat. Like Rosie. This one cat I know. She's a little brown fat kitty and she's so cute but I can't pet her because I'm allergic to her. Doesn't that SUCK?? Anyways, Chris screams things about religious persecution and with references to religion and the occult. This song was re-recorded for the soundtrack to a movie called "Pump Up the Volume", but this original version is much better! Just listen to how that guitar sounds.
7. Soundgarden - "Tears to Forget" This song is a lot faster than the song before it and once again features that amazing guitar tone that sounds like a mix between fire and ice if they knew how to play instruments. The chorus section after the intro has an ominous/exciting riff like something important is about to happen. The verse section's riff and lyrics elaborate on this tension, with a slightly different drumbeat. Once again, this song eventually was re-recorded, and it was featured on the band's first album, "Screaming Life". End of Side A.
8. Malfunkshun - "Stars-N-You" The other Malfunkshun song. Much faster than their other song. It has sort of a euphoric riff and vocal melody, with crazy love-song lyrics and the like. It kind of crashes and takes off... the tempo is real unique-sounding. Return of the infamous "one time" lyric. Again. Heh. Also take a listen to those crazy solos!
9. Melvins - "Grinding Process" One of the most notable Melvins songs and probably their first song where they tried to get real slow and heavy. It has an extremely grimy, tough energy to it... just slow enough to rub that knoize knuckle around in your face after punching it. The vocals are awesome, Buzz sounds snotty as ever! Just listen to how everybody yells "TASTE" all at once that first time! Then there's a guitar solo and an outro section with an ascending guitar riff with an extremely thick, dark sound to it. Different versions of this song have also been featured in their debut 7", the "10 Songs" album, the "Northwest Hardcore" compilation tape, and 26 Songs, which has every version of the song recorded except for this one.
10. Melvins - "She Waits" I LOVE this one. Isn't it funny how the Melvins went from being an ultra-fast band to an ultra-slow band? Anyways, the song kicks off with a fast section with a really cool guitar riff, climaxing in a mega-intense thrash section with Dale Crover on vocals that's only four seconds long but actually the best part of the song. Then there's a slower part of the song. It all ends in some really loud feedback with the bandmates eventually complaining before it gets turned off.
11. Skin Yard - "The Birds" Now we slow things back down... Ben McMillan, the singer of the band sings in a real depressing-sounding and subtle voice. If you liked how things sounded in their other song on this LP, then you'll probably like this one also. And there's some saxophone-playing on this song. The lyrics are very dark and describe feeling plagued by apathy and complacency, and he also complains about there being a lot of birds. Birds must really piss this guy off. That just SUCKS. Birds. They have wings. And feathers. And beaks. They like to eat worms. Isn't that funney?
12. Soundgarden - "All Your Lies" This is the best version of this song. It was later on their album "Ultramega O.K." and it sounds more clean and metal-ish, and that version rocks also, but this version has that really hot guitar sound that makes the song WAY more exciting-sounding. It's kinda chaotic, but the chaos seems to have a direction. If it didn't, the song would go on forever, right? Perhaps. Anyways, this song is really awesome! The verse part is fast and the chorus part is kind of slow. Kim Thayil can play the guitar REALLY good.
13. Green River - "Your Own Best Friend" Starts out slow with a mostly lead-guitar melody before taking off for a faster tempo. This song's about a person who feels alienated by the rest of society and feels like his friends and family don't even care about him and feels pressured to do the right thing and dress the right way all of the time. Kind of depressing. Towards the end of the song I suspect that Mark Arm was smoking quite a few joints 'cuz he sounds so stoned he can barely even sing without laughing. The rest of the band sings in chorus vocals along with Mark's lyrics in one part and I thought that sounded pretty cool. The rest of the music starts to fade out and soon you just hear Mark laughing along with a drum beat as weird Butthole Surfer-like vocal effects haunt the soundscape.
14. U-Men - "They" HEY KIDZ! THIS IS THE LAST SONG! IT'S THE U-MEN: ROCKABILLY ON CRACK COCAINE! The U-Men were the oldest of the bands on this album and had already released a couple of records, so they were more well-known than the other bands here. Yeah, this song is a lot more silly and upbeat than most of the other tunes on here. The singer, John Bigley, has a crazy hillbilly-sounding voice that screams and moans at different times. The first part of the song is real crazy and upbeat, and then there's a calmer, more depressing part of the song where the singer kind of mopes about various mishaps... "Junior flipped the flappin' out on Route 21"... what poetic mastery! I love it! Then a bunch of animals disappear in a "puff of smoke on the road". Great type of song to drink beer and poorly fire bullets outta yer shotgun at trespassers to.
One great thing about this record is that there's so much variety! Every band has their own distinct sound -- even songs from the same band have their own unique sound. This would be the perfect compilation of early Seattle rock stuff if the Accused were also on here or something. But I guess the Accused weren't weird-sounding enough so they aren't anywhere to be found on this album. You'll hear a little bit of punk, metal, psychedelica, all mixed up in one big gigantic stew of (at the time) un-noticed talent. And really, only two of these bands on the compilation made it very far out of obscurity... the Melvins and Soundgarden, and the Melvins soon realized that being on a major label really is bogus! So, if you like any of these bands (I'm sure you like at least one), do check this out... all top-notch material that could have very easily never been put down on the wax slab. It would have been funny if the Mentors were on here also, but then A&M wouldn't want to touch this album the way they did in 1994 almost ten years later. This album just rocks!
Top 3 Favorites: 1. Grinding Process (Melvins) 2. Blessing the Operation (Melvins) 3. 10,000 Things (Green River)
Genre: Acoustic Rock Label: K Records Tracks: 5 Length: 9 Minutes Style: Emotional/Relationship My Rating: 6/8
Ah, 2011... another new year. A year of change, very possibly. Still trying to start my band... will turn 18 soon. Already some bad shit has happened to the rest of the world -- I witnessed a house on fire firsthand at 4:30 AM on New Year's Day, a huge-ass flood happened in Australia, a huge earthquake in Chile... it's beginning to seem that the only way to fix all of the problems of the world would be attempted annihilation of humanity including the government, but of course, nobody likes the idea of that so that probably won't happen. Let's face it, we can only either destroy ourselves the fast fun way or wait to be destroyed the slow boring way at this point. Eventually a choice will have to be made. You might say there's another way, but is it really attainable... at all? Most people can't even make it past one riot cop, how do you think you're gonna take on the entire U.S. military AND survive? Maybe it's possible, but my guess is that it's extremely difficult to do and the average person just doesn't give half a fuck. Meanwhile, the environment continues to get more and more screwed up, not just from CFCs but practically everything we do -- cars emit gases which are horrible for the atmosphere, a bizarrely HUGE amount of oil was released into the ocean a few months ago (also bad for the atmosphere), a one degree change in ocean temperature has been proven to really fuck up the weather, every product you buy -- hell, every time you use electricity, which is a product of coal-burning, is adding more toxic shit to the atmosphere, every time you throw something in the trash, landfills get bigger and eventually there isn't any more land to fill so they have to dump it in a clean area... even if you're one of those types who feels that human beings should just go back to their animal roots, remember that if the public sewer systems and toilets hadn't been invented that we'd all be walking in a big fucking crust of feces because the population has multiplied by millions since the middle ages. The population just reached 7 billion and people continue to breed like rabbits... keepin' up with the Joneses, gotta have at least two children and then bitch when you don't have enough money to feed a family and they're off rebelling against your ways because they see through your self-imposed false sense of happiness and security until you do all you can if the mainstream media isn't to make them begin to go along with your quest for a "perfect life" sold to you by decades of watching television. The Pope and his gang of physical and psychological pedophiles are still at it prolonging the existence of S.T.D.s in fourth world countries in Africa, and on the other side of the issue of that are people constantly throwing their money at the unsolvable problem of how shitty it is to live in Africa -- I don't think it'll EVER get better there, certainly not in your lifetime! Until scientists find a way to invent perfectly safe food out of dirt, then maybe we'll be getting somewhere, but even then we'll be worrying about overpopulation and then the wars perpetrated by lies in order to offset the effects of this while pretending it's about something else. The United States government continues to take freedom away from its people, first with the Patriot Act, now scanning your body in airports to make sure you don't belong to the 0.000000001% of the world's population that's a member of Al Queda! They even want to start fucking pass laws to censor radio programs they don't agree with -- are far right Christian dogshit pus-bags like Rush Limbaugh a cancer on society? YES. Is it the government's job to fix it? NO. They want to ban junk food. Is America getting too full of lard? YES. Is it the government's job to fix everything? NO. Same with guns, same with drugs (I support legalization of ALL drugs), same with prostitution! If you don't like what I just said about those things, then too bad. And then you have the Tea Party -- yeah, they actually do agree with some of those things, they don't like the government taking rights either... only problem is, they only care when the government takes THEIR rights! The majority of these hypocrites have NO problem and actually encourage the government to ban gay marriage, abortion, they are pro-war! They are just as big-government as any lame-assed liberal and if you're not one of these people then I respect your opinion. Know where the typical fake "anti-government" conservative DOES want the government? IN YOUR BEDROOM. IN YOUR MATERNITY ROOM. IN YOUR SCHOOL (they cry "government takeover" as soon as somebody brings up evolution or gay sex but what they really want is a religious takeover of schools!). They whine about paying taxes to help people on welfare or to fund the schools but gladly give up every penny for Uncle S(c)am when the war funds bucket comes 'round. And therefore any time somebody brings up the concept of "Small Government" the mainstream liberals get all sneery and associate you with this group of loud-mouthed religious rednecks who think Obama's a Muslim terrorist from Kenya. A pro-gay Muslim. From homophobic Africa. Who married a woman who wears clothing that shows her legs and her face. You think it's "progress" and "wonderful" that gays are allowed into the military now? You think the government just started loving homos so much that they took pride in the idea of gays arming the battlefields? In my opinion, this is just another way to get a larger, more reckless military. 10% more of the population are now eligible to go fucking kill people in foreign countries and live in horrible conditions and follow every command of an airheaded war leader for a living! What fun! Thanks Obama, thanks for taking away yet another excuse to NOT go be a solider and find out how shitty it really is to be a murdering slave. I mean, if you do or even say ANYTHING gay you get a free fucking ticket to never fight in a war! You are IMMUNE to the draft if it ever comes! Not anymore... gotta have their hands on anybody physically able to take on the job of being a puppet on a string... with an AK-47. I don't care if the purpose of war is "honorable". WAR SUCKS. If the president/dictator/king hates his enemies so much why doesn't he be a real fucking man and fight them himself? Obama never fought in a war. Bush never fought in a war. Clinton never fought in a war. Reagan never fought in a war. The joke is on you. Anarchy? HAHAHAHA, see how long that'd last! Maybe under a majority of people with relatively pacifistic middle-class/working-class sensibilities it'd work, but it only takes one real fuckhead to mess it all up. That's the reason why mass-murderers don't kill as many people as they do, right? They HAVE to hide it! From the POLICE! The police protect you from being more vulnerable to a murderer. The same police that want you raped in prison as they mockingly watch for such equally horrendous crimes as... DOING DRUGS! AUUUAAUUUGHH!!!!! And if you are an anarchist who has a rebuttal to my previous claims then I might change my mind. If you're a communist, you essentially are saying that you support a system in which there is ONE peasant class and ONE ruling class with 100% of the power, the same thing that you accuse capitalism of being, only way worse. I guess what I'm getting around to saying here is that all of us are completely fucked no matter what we try to do to stop it, we're just holding off the arrival of something that is entirely inevitable, so just enjoy life while you have it, don't let people fuck you around unless it's not worth it to do otherwise, and do as many things that you wanna do as you can! I hope this year I get laid. I hope I get to do drugs. I hope I get to play rock and roll with friends to people. I'd like to actually have a job, also.
Anyways (geez, that was a mouthful!), I'm REALLY here today to give U the revU of the Beat Happening albUm known as THREE TEA BREAKFAST. That's when all you have for breakfast is, well, three cups of tea. Right? I believe this was the first record ever from Beat Happening, and it was released on a cassette tape in 1984. The Beat Happening style of music is a friendly, simplistic sound with a male and a female singer (who kind of looks like a boy), "cute" lyrics, but yet it has a slight grit to it. This combination is likely what made them big with the underground scene in the northwestern U.S.A., so let's hear it for ourselves since I've really only heard one Beat Happening album besides this. WEOWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOOOOOO...
1. In My Memory Starts out with some really blurry audio of Calvin Johnson singing. After that it cuts to a really beautiful acoustic melody with Bret Lunsford clackin' his drumsticks together to keep a tempo and Heather Lewis singing in her soft, warm voice. It's about an old relationship that has ceased or is fading away or something like that. It's a real emotional, sweet song that kinda makes you wanna cry a little bit. Really good.
2. Honey Pot Just clacking drumstick sounds and Calvin singing in his kinda nasal voice about a girl who's kind of a whore but yet the narrator of the song is the guy who really loves her and asks for her to "take him by the hand and lead him to that land...". The execution is really awkward but I like the lyrics a lot. Honey pot.
3. The Fall Acoustic guitar riff and a beat that sounds like it was done using a cardboard box. More lyrics about trying to get a girl, but hence, Calvin gets rejected. Poor guy. End of Side A.
4. Youth "When I was young, I thought I was old...". The guitar riff is pretty nice to listen to. It's about how exciting life is when you're young and how you can "afford to be bold" and stuff. And once again, more about trying to get a girl. Oh Calvin, Calvin, when will he ever learn... about vaginnas.
5. Don't Mix the Colors The longest song on the album. Nice beat, and the riff is a little more confident sounding. It's about Calvin telling a girl "not to mix the colors" because he likes her painting the way it already is. SUUURE... we all know what he's REALLY trying to say... AHAHAHAHA!! But no really, that's all there is. And then there's a minute-long soundclip of some random goings-on and a Japanese guy.
So, that's all there iz so far. Did I mention that the band was formed in 1982 in Olympia, Washington and also this EP was the first non-compilation record on K Records, a record label owned by Calvin himself? I'm pretty sure it is, but there's no numbering on the early K Records releases so it's hard to be totally sure. The first and fourth songs are my two favorites on this tape. Its contents as well as other early Beat Happening stuff can be found on the reissue of their first LP from '85, so be sure to check that out and I'll review it later. And don't get yerself too down on what I said earlier... make the best of it! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Normally I'd tell you to cut down the lemon tree or something, but in this case, the lemons are actually hydrogen bombs, so... not quite an option here. Anyways, despite all of that shit, do really try to have a happy 2011! Remember, you're young and stupid! Go take a chance and do something really fun this year. Bye.
Genre: Hardcore Punk Label: None Tracks: 3 Length: 3 Minutes Style: Angry/Weird My Rating: 6/8
Night Fever is a cool band from the state of Indiana. Not too far from where I'm from, really. The band formed in July of this year, and so far this is the only thing they've ever put out. Actually, somebody made a live bootleg of the band as well, but I'll get 'round to that later. ANYWAYS, umm... the band. It has a singer. A guitar player. A bass guitar player. A drummer, as well. Those are the members of the band. This tape. It has three songs on it. Real fuzzed-out guitars. The singer sounds a lot like Ian MacKaye from Minor Threat. In a good way. There's even a keyboardist. I think. And there's a Black Flag cover. So let's GET PUSHIN' TO THE CUSHION AND START FUCKING THE SHIT OUTTA OUR CASSETTE PLAYERZ AS WE LISTEN TO THIS MAGICAL TAPE. ACTUALLY, HERE IS AN UPDATE FOR 1/12/11: THERE IS NO RHYTHM GUITARIST. THE BAND MEMBERS ARE ASHLEY (KEYBOARD), GWEN (BASS GUITAR), MATT (DRUMS), AND MARK (VOCALS).
1. Fallout The song starts out with a two-note keyboard key-press-age. The beat is really cool... it's the way he does those cymbals. As I said before, the singer sounds a tiny bit like Ian MacKaye, but with less restraint. The song's about a person who survives a nuclear fallout, and then his body begins to mutate in sorts of ridiculous ways... "now I'm growing TENTACLES". TENTACLES!! TENTACLES! LIKE, WHAT OCTOPUS(SY)ES HAVE!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
2. Wasted Black Flag cover. My favorite early Black Flag song, at that. You know the drill. It's a tad faster than the original version. The riff, lyrics, flow... all very energetic.
3. Ditched The synths in this song remind me of sort of a circus, but like, a deranged circus full of evil klowns. "I'M SICK OF BEING DITCHED!". This song's about feeling like shit 'cuz the girl you're with ditches you for other things all of the time. Man, that guy (whatever his name) can fucking scream. I love the way he screams. It sounds awesome.
Know what? I really like these guys. Their music is interesting to listen to, they have an awesome singer, they have a sense of humor, and they're in a state I could actually get to not so difficultly. As for what songs I like best, I think it really does go in consecutive order. The first song is best, second song is second best, and the third song is the worst. That doesn't mean it's a bad song though, I'm just saying I don't like it as much as the other two songs. But this band is pretty cool and you should go check them out on MySpace. I'm saying this because they appear to not be very well-known. So go listen to them, dudes and women. And just check out how cool that tape art is!
Genre: Hard Rock Label: Capitol Records Tracks: 7 Length: 35 Minutes Style: Political/Emotional My Rating: 7/8
So a one night last week, I went to Goodwill, to see if I could find anything worth purchasing. Well, I bought a t-shirt, and in the cassette bin I actually found a GRAND FUNCK RAILROAD tape. I had never listened to them prior to this in my life, but I had heard about them from the Butthole Surfers and I really liked the cover of the song "Paranoid" from their album called "Double Live". So, for only 99 cents, I took my chance and bought the tape. So THEN, a day later... I LISTENED TO IT. It was pretty good. I dunno whether to describe it as being "hard rock" or "heavy metal" since as far as I'm concerned, those terms pretty much are interchangeable, and as the title implies, there are some funk-y elements of the band's music as well. Anyways, time to review this album, man.
1. Foot Stompin' Music The beat seems pretty stompin', there's some organ alongside a throbbin' bass guitar, and then the singer, Mark Farner (who Paul Leary named his DOG after!) is singing the song. Pretty badass lead guitar. Actually, know what this song kind of reminds me of? THE THEME SONG FOR SESAME STREET! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Didn't Cookie Monster invent the whole death-metal vocal style, anyways? Only the thing Grand Funk Railroad are definitely not death metal. So go stomp yer diRty feet and get stompin'... all the way over to the other song. Mang.
2. People, Let's Stop the War Yep, an anti-war song. The song begins with a very beautiful guitar riff accompanied by a real cool bass melody. OOH. OOH. OOH. OOH-OOH. Those were some of the first lyrics I heard in this song. Then things REALLY kick off with that funky-ass guitar sound. WHAP WHU-WHAP-WOWP-WAMP!!! That was a really bad textual impression of what the guitar sounds. But you might get the idea... right? Well, the rhythm guitar is really amazing-sounding in this song. There's some pretty nice technically-good vocals from MarkFarn and then there is the group-shout of "PEOPLE, LET'S STOP THE WAR!" in the chorus. Vietnam was a real shitty war. And you can alwayz count on the same man who brings you the vocal chord vibrations heard in this song to bring ya some wild-sounding guitar wankage. Like, the good kind of wanking that feels real good on your penis. Except this time it's an ear instead of a pennis. Who wants to start wars when you've got a song this good tellin' ya not to? I dunno. I say this is probably my favorite song on this album.
3. Upsetter Kicks off with a cool riff. The drum beat is also real cool to listen to. Is that a clopping horsey I'm hearing in the sides of my ears? Well, maybe it is. It's real hard to tell what you're just hearing yer head and what you aren't anymore. Like, what if we're all just slowly growing crazier as a populace? Do mind-control waves being emitted out of otherwise useless structures in public gathering areas really exist? Sometimes I have to wonder. The final chorus is played a couple steps higher than the usual chorus sections of the song. Oh, and if you like harmonicas, there's a lot of that in this song. Then at the very end I hear some nice-sounding guitar strumming.
4. I Come Tumblin' He comes tumblin', eh? THAT'S A LOT OF CUM, MAN!!! The singing and guitar riff have a very confident, triumphant aura to them. The drumming of mister Don Brewer (perhaps he liked to make beer) is about as good as it gets in some parts of the song. AGH, what an amazing mid-section... you get a mid-tempo more relaxed beat and melody alternating with a real frantic, fast drumming and guitaring part! And just wait for the climax and aftermath (end of the song) of that! You'll be impressed. End of Side A.
5. Save the Land The guitaring is good. The song reminds me a lot of "People, Let's Stop the War" from earlier, but a little faster and not quite as good. But it's still a good song. The chorus section is a little more up-beat with harmonizing vocals and the like. The beat sounds awesome in that part of the song. "The whole world WILL get high"... FUCK YES. You heard it, the whole world! You motherfuckers WILL get high. YOU WILL. So start injectin' that heroin and smokin' the weed, 'cuz it's now or later, you big buttholes! The lyrics of the song encourage people to fight back at the government to preserve their property and what rightfully belongs to them.
6. No Lies A little slower. The guitar has a real hot, fiery sound to it, and the singing is just excellent sounding. The leads are fuckin' sexual and this is just the type of song you could FUCK to. Yes sir. NO LIES. The singer of the songer assures the listener that he "isn't gonna sell ya". In the bridge section, the song briefly cuts into an abnormaly speedy tempo before settling down back into the standard pace.
7. Loneliness This is a really long song. It's more mellow than the other songs. A bit more depressing-sounding. The lyrics describe a need to protect and preserve the earth and humanity to save it from an otherwise assured demise. The chorus section surprisingly jolts up into a louder, more upbeat type of groove. There are some good keyboard effects used in this song also that enhance the emotional energy of the song. In the very end of the song, things speed up and the soundscape is filled with a barrage of harmonious synth sounds. And that's all, kiddies.
Well, it was really a pleasant surprise when I bought this tape and listened to it to find out that it really didn't suck. At all. At Goodwill it's hard to find much music of quality beyond maybe some obvious record that everybody already owns. But it's a real nice, heavy, chock-full-of-great-sounds-and-riffs-and-beats-and-stuff album. Actually, when this album was first released, the LP came in a case that was shaped and textured like a gigantic coin, as shown on the album cover. That's pretty legit. Anyways, do check this record out. I think punks can get into it also, you just need to have an open mind and some taste. Taste meaning appreciation for something outside of the status quo. Enough 'bout that, thuh. Guh thuhth uhbum. Nuh. Pluh. Actually, a lot of people said that everything they did after this album sucked, but I've only heard this album and the song that the Butthole Surfers covered. I'll be sure to review their other records later. I had fun writing about this one. Top 3 Favorites: 1. People, Let's Stop the War 2. No Lies 3. I Come Tumblin'
Genre: Post-Punk/Noise Label: Gilgongo Records/Jarson International Records Tracks: 3 Length: 7 Minutes Style: Weird My Rating: 6/8
PIGEON RELIGION was a rock ern roll band, man. They... they existed for, like... a few years and stuff. They made some pretty good music. They were frerm Arizona, I think. This... this... was one of their other records that made. It has three songs on it. One of them is about having a DEAD BOSS. And the other ones are about other things. But I'm getting a little ahead of myself anyhow... the thing is that my Grrrl Friend tape I made was destroyed by my tape player last night so everything sounded really fucked up when I was listening to it. So it inspired me to draw some pretty nice pictures. One of them involved flowers. Flowers with beer. And then there was also a picture of a girl saying "WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO MARRY THE PRESIDENT OF GAY LAND.", and all of those other nice things for children. BEEP BEEP BEEE BEEP BEEP. I dreamt I decided to kill a cheetah for some reason, last night. I think I was afraid it was going to eat me or something. Then I was in a video game for a little while. One involving Africans and later on I was trying to swim upstream on a raft because I was in the arctic or something. Anyways, now for a review...
1. Dead Boss DADE BOUSS DADE BOUSS DADE BOUSS DOODADOODADOO. The song begins with a celebratory "WHOAAOAOAA", because, probably... THE BOSS IS DEAD. YAEY!! The song seems to portray the blissful ecstatic excitement experienced by one when their boss is discovered to be dead. The singing on this song is pretty hilarious-sounding. The guitar riff follows the "whoa" vocal melody of the song. The song slows down and then it's over. Man.
2. Henderson The beat and tempo here aren't as normal as the other song. It'll be just a couple cymbal crashes and a snare, then another one, and then a bass pedal beat. Or something like that. It's really noisy. Only the bass guitar carries any immediately noticable melody. Everything besides this is a ton of guitar feedback and the singer's drunk-sounding vocals. HAVE YOU SEEN NIRVANA? End of Side A.
3. Huge Bummer HUGE BUMMER, MAN... the song has a pretty cool bass riff, and a shit-ton of guitar feedback as well. The song's lyrics sound something like "YOU CAN STAND BY YOURSELF, SO LET'S KICK BACK ON SOMEONE ELSE", or something like that. The lyrics are song awesomely, which is a good thing. Did I mention that the song has a really cool drum beat? Anyways, at the end of the song is a bunch of feedback and a repeated guitar riff. Best song on the EP. So, that's the end.
WHELL, FUCKPUPPPET, THAT WAS A PRETTY COOL RECORD. I SURE DO LIKE PIGEON RELIGION SONGS. WHY DON'TCHA LIKE THEM WITH ME BY LISTENING TO THIS ALBUM? I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT THE COVER. LOOK AT ALL OF THOSE FUNKY LITTLE FISH. DON'T YOU LIKE FISH? DON'T YOU WANT TO SUPPORT THOSE FIESHES FAMILIES AND GIVE THEM SOME MONEY? WELL COME RIGHT UP AND STICK YOUR FUCKING DICK IN A BLENDER 'CUZ WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE AT SOME POINT ANYHOO!!! Golly geesh, I dunno, man. When you start givin' your flowers beer and givin' your wife some flowers, y'know you're REALLY goonna fuck up now. So go suck on a hot dog and GET OUTTA MY SIGHT. SIGHT. WEB SIGHT. DUDE. AAAGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Genre: Post-Punk Label: Silent Explosion Records Tracks: 4 Length: 9 Minutes Style:Weird My Rating: 6/8
Thanks to the help of my favorite cartoon ever, Beavis & Butt-head, this band actually got famous for awhile... by then they had gone to more of a mainstream heavy metal sound, but they were totally punk when they first started out. And not your momma's Ramones-like punk either, this is weird-ass window-shatterin' punk! The kind your momma warned you about! The band came from New York City and were named after a 1930s horror film called... the WHITE ZOMBIE!!!! The quality of this record is a bit murky, so it's kinda hard to make out all the lyrics, but I'm going to review all of this stuff anyways.
1. Gentleman Junkie It's like a backwoods-sounding version of New Wave! Rob Zombie's weird, hillbilly-sounding vocals give the music an extra edge. Beat is cool in the chorus part. There's a ton of lead guitar solo-ing going on also, so that might interest you as well.
2. King of Souls [W.Z.] The guitar riff here is even cooler here. A little more up-beat and catchy. I just love the way Rob's singing sounds. End of Side A.
3. Tales From the Scarecrow Man Slower. Very inviting bass riff. Real trippy-sounding lead guitar stuff going on. More awesome-sounding vocals. That guitar just sounds like a ton of little creatures whizzing around your range of hearing. Sort of bubbling and rippling, and then buzzing and leaving a trail of glow behind it. I think I heard a harmonica also. This is my favorite song on the E.P.
4. Cat's Eye Resurrection The fastest song. CAT CAT CAT... I like cats. Because they are funny. The tempo slows down in the chorus part and starts to sound like some fucked-up carnival tune. Rob's got so much of this fucked flow to the way he sings. Well, that's it, man, 'cuz this song is pretty short.
That was the first White Zombie record. It's pretty interesting... in some ways it reminds me of the Butthole Surfers, but not as funny. The vocal style reminds me of early G.G. Allin, but even more redneck. There's a hint of metal in the guitar tonage. Actually, the EP was re-released some years later as a cassette tape which includes two studio out-takes, but I'm too lazy to review those today so maybe someday I'll redo this review all over again or just find another record with those songs on it to review. Anyways, if you like your music fucked, screwed, and skewed, then "Gods on Voodoo Moon" iz for you. PENNIS
Genre: No-Wave Label: Lust/Unlust Records Tracks: 2 Length: 3 Minutes Style:Angry My Rating: 6/8
Teenage Jesus & the Jerks is a No-Wave band from New York, whose members have included (the incredibly hot) Lydia Lunch, James Chance (also had his own band called "The Contortions"), and then there's also Gordon Stevenson (bass guitar), and Bradley Field (drums). The line-up that recorded this record were Lydia, Gordon, and Bradley. James Chance must've been off contorting himself then. Anyways, this was the first Teenage Jezus release, and it contains their most well-known song, Orphans (probably because they made a music video for it), and then another song called "Less of Me". The musical style of Teenage Jesus & the Jerks is cathartic, repetitive, abrasive, feminine, and confrontational! When you listen to TEEEEEAAANNAGGGEEE JEAAAEEUUUUAAZOUUUUSSSS andthejerks you will hear chords that YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED! Lydia Lunch screams and yells about orphans and shit, and what the hell, I'm supposed to be talking about that in the song reviews! So......
1. Orphans LITTLE ORPHANS RUNNING THROUGH THE BLOODY SNOW. Yep, you'll hear a lot about little orphans dying in this song. No more ankles and no more toes. That previous sentence was something that Lydia sings in the song. The riff is really repetitive, and the sound of the rhythm guitar is icy and it flashes into your ears, the same way that it feels on your feet to run barefoot through the snow for the first time. Or to walk on thin ice. After each sung part, there's a fucking wild noisy guitar solo. The beat is just a thumping bass pedal. Very simple. Lydia sings in pain, like maybe she were at one point also a LITTLE ORPHAN RUNNING THROUGH THE BLOODY SNOW. Bloody snow would be like red snow, correct? DON'T EET THE REDD SNOWW, KIDZ! The guitar kind of sounds like this: dskfjsdklfjdskfjdslfjsda89udjsd-';dgfld;'lgfdsasd;;'.dfofg.gf;pg;df'df '.dfg][ldsfg][p;dsfg=- ';
2. Less of Me I dunno who's playing the saxophone here. Maybe it's James Chance. Or Lydia herself. The beat and melody are simple here, but the way it's all punctuated is different than in other song. You get to hear a lot of saxophone craziness in this tune. Lydia's voice sounds a bit less frantic here. More cymbals from mister Field, also.
Definitely listen to the song, "Orphans"! "Less of Me" is good also, but "Orphans" really does take the cake. It captures the feeling of its subject matter perfectly and it just sounds really really good, also. I give this record a 6/8 because it's just that snazzy. Also, check out this AMAZIING MUSIC VIDEO FOR ORPHANS BY TEENAGE JESUS AND THE JERKS 'CUZ IT'S FULL OF CLIPPETS OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION AND MAYHEM AND PLAY-DOH AND ALL OF THAT STUFF THAT YOU KIDZ THESE DAYS ENJOY WANKING OFF TO!
Genre: Hardcore Punk Label: Fatal Erection Records Tracks: 13 Length: 12 Minutes Style:Angry/Political My Rating: 6/8
Poison Idea was a hardcore band from Portland, Oregon that existed throughout the 1980s and early 1990s. Apparently the early incarnation of the band was composed of Darby Crash's cousins, which is PRETTY COOL. The band original consisted of: Jerry A. Crash (vocals), Pig Crash (guitar), Chris Crash (bass), and Dean Crash (drums). Well shit, imagine how those family reunions musta been for ol' Darby... I mean, "Bobby Pyn"... I mean, Jan Paul Beahm. Sorry, took me a little while to get THAT one right! "Darby, stop flinging your food at Pig Champion... 'cuz he's eating all of it and he's starting to get real fucking fat!". Actually, Jerry A. looks exactly like a chubby version of Darby Crash in these early days of the band. On one side of the EP sleeve, there's a picture of Jesus, and the other side is Elvis. Which one will you pick? Enough 'bout THAT, though. Time for another record review!!
1. Think Twice I fell in love with this tune the moment I heard it! The guitar riff cuts real hard, the beat is fast as lightning and pretty solid as way. Jerry's singing voice is throaty and harsh, also! The song beckons that suicidal people think twice about their decision and to "count their blessings before they lose them". You have to listen to this one!
2. It's An Action Pretty fast and cool-sounding but not as strong as the track before it. The message is good, though -- it encourages people to destroy the fascist government from within and practice freedom. And to bash a cop or two.
3. This Thing Called Progress Alternates between guitar-only and not-guitar-only intervals in the verse parts. The chorus has an awesome chord progression. The song explains how what the government and mainstream society calls "progress" in civilization is actually destroying the country from within, and therefore, needs to be stopped.
4. In My Headache This tune's a little slower, but still fast by anyone except a grindcore fan's standards! The lyrics are pretty angsty and the music rules.
5. Underage This is a really short song, but the band has a lot to say in this one. The song is told from the point of view of an 18-year-old who feels frustrated by the lack of respect for minors in society.
6. Self Abuse The song has four parts. The first part is fast, the second part is really fast, the third part is slow, and the fourth part is fast again. As you might expect, the lyrics describe and question the actions of people who engage in self abuse and self mutilation. End of Side A.
7. Cult Band I'm not sure if this song is supposed to be an attack on the commercial glam bands of the day or punk bands that built up huge followings based on their social philosophy like Minor Threat. Anyone got an answer yet?
8. Last One This song has a simple guitar riff and it's an anti-violence anthem telling violent people that were ruining the hardcore scene to go fuck off.
9. Pure Hate I just realized that on these not-as-fast songs that the guitar sounds a ton like Pat Smear's guitar on the album (GI) by the Germs. The song contains allusions to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, except the song is more in celebration of hate. Or so it sounds. Actually, I don't really know what this song's about.
10. Castration Really fast and really short! The song rants against macho assholes who are out to make a show of themselves for some cheap sex, while their family members (wife/girlfriend, kids) are secretly planning to get their revenge on him and castrate him, either literally or figuratively. "Your girlfriend's waiting for you with a broken bottle."
11. Reggae (I Hate) While many punks have come to love reggae due to bands like Bad Brains that play both styles of music. It's pretty slow, and the beat is very similar to that in reggae music. The chorus section is fast and thrashing as ever, though! The lyrics denote reggae as being a bunch of religious drug-induced slow idiocy, as Jerry proclaims that he "can't slow down" and he "won't dance at a disco, even if they play reggae". Then one of the band members says "Motorhead".
12. Give It Up GIVEITUPGIVEITUPGIVEITUPGIVEITUPGIVEITUPGIVEITUPGIVEITUPGAHHHGAHBLOOOOEY.
13. Think Fast Nice awesome riff. The beat sounds cool. The song encourages people to be nice and not treat their friends like crap or else "it might be the beginning of the end". So that's the end of POISON IDEA, MAN...
Okay.
Top 3 Favorites: 1. Think Twice 2. Reggae (I Hate) 3. Think Fast
Genre: Hardcore Punk Label: No Way Records Tracks: 3 Length: 4 Minutes Style:Political/Angry My Rating: 5/8
HELLOOOOOOO, KIDZ, it is getting closer and closer to CHRISTMAS TIME, in which people get presents and worship JAEEEUEUEUEUEUZOUUUS, and even if you don't worship him (for which you will suffer a fate of BURNING IN HELL FOREVER), you can still enjoy sitting around a tree with a bunch of shiny things stapled to it and listening to cheesy songs about Santa Claus (Satan Claws?) and getting free stuff from other people. Anyways, it's time for the special magical LEGIT SANTA CLAWS TO GIVE YOU A MAGICAL SPECIAL LEGIT GIFT, AND THIS IZ CALLED THE LEGIT MUSIC REVIEWS DOUBLE FEATURE... I AM GOING TO REVIEW TWO RECORDS IN ONE SUPER-REVIEW! SO, LET'S BEGIN, SHALL WE?
"Executed" is the newest release from the band Government Warning, and it's a 3-song 7" single.
1. Executed This song starts out considerably slower than the usual Government Warning stuff... more Sex Pistols-speed in the beginning. After the first part of the song, which has a pretty cool guitar riff, the song speeds up by a large amount and ascends into the brand of hyper-thrash that the band is known for. Later on in the song, things slow down a bit once more and Brandon, the drummer, puts on some pretty neat-sounding drumming for the outro of the song.
2. Shirked Obligations This song is very fast. Pure hardcore thrash, chord changes going mile-a-minute, yadda yadda...
3. Modern Day Heroes This is a cover of the song by the band Battalion of Saints. Cool guitar riff in the verse section. Probably the best tune on this record, though "Executed" is a little more interesting musically. The lyrics of this song describe how even though the murderers and molesters of the world have always been able to somehow find joy in taking lives with no remorse or shame, there's a group of people today who kill so much more than any serial killer; they do it legally... in fact, they're hailed as "MODERN DAY HEROES": THE FUCKING MILITARY!!
Well, that's my review of EXERCUTED BY GUB'MENT WARMIN'. It was a pretty decent listen. The Battalion of Saints cover is pretty neat. The title track is good also, though "Shirked Obligations" didn't really interest me that much. But that's all I've gotta say for right NOW, so let's JUMP over to the MAGIICAL RAILROAD AND CHUG ALONG TO THE NEXT RECORD REVIEW, shall we?
... BOINGABOINGABOINGABOING...
2. THROBBING ORGAN (Single)
Year: 2004
Genre: Hardcore Punk Label: Parts Unknown Records Tracks: 2 Length: 6 Minutes Style:Angry My Rating: 6/8
THROBBIN' SEXUAL ORGAN iz ther first-ever official release from their Pennsylvania rock n' roll band, PISSED JEANS!!!!! So lettuce get around to seeing what magical animal could possibly unleashed out of our own THROBBING ORGANS when I put on this little song...
1. Throbbing Organ The vocal style of Mister Bradley Fry here sounds a little less defined here, which is a good thing because he actually sings cooler here than he does on the newer records! Awesome tempo, super pissed-off-sounding sludgy guitar riffs, the singing is really off-time. The drumming is great, and the vocals sound so insanely brutal in a non-generic way! I coulda sworn I heard him barking like a doggy in one part! I don't even know what this song is supposed to be about but it's probably about a THROBBING ORGAN and it's still cool.
2. Night Minutes Now, fer the other side of the PISSED JEAN WEEN HOT NEW (in 2004, it was) SINGLE! Actually, in some parts the singer kinda sounds like Iggy Pop with downs syndrome. Man, I'm gonna have a field day imagining that one. Similar-sounding to the other song... just simple angry dumb drunken punk music! I like the chorus riff. Actually, in the later parts of this song, they throw in some lead guitar stuff as well into the mix. The song ends in a few seconds of chaotic guitar noize. The end.
The insanity in Brad's singing and the hard thickness of the rhythm guitar make these songs sound tough-as-nails, and not the kind of nails you just hammer down into the wood either, 'cuz they're moving all over the place! It is a pretty good record and I wish Bradley still sing like he does on this record... it's not like he sounds TERRIBLY different now, but this sounds better to me for some reason. Actually, the band just released another new 7" this year, so maybe I'll have to review that sometime as well. Seen their new music video yet? It's for the song "False Jesii Part 2" and you should check it out or something. But that's all I've gotta say for now. I hope you enjoyed reading the DOUBLE FEATURE...
MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD (EP)
