Review #240: The Accüsed - The Return of Martha Splatterhead (1986)

THE RETURN OF MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD

Year: 1986
Genre: Hardcore Punk/Thrash Metal
Label: Subcore Records
Tracks: 13
Length: 31 Minutes
My Rating: 6/8

The Accüsed are a hardcore/thrash band from Seattle, Washington. They formed in 1981 as a standard hardcore band with their original vocalist, John Dahlin, was the old singer... things took a change sometimes in 1984 when the band decided to venture into a more heavy metal-influenced sound, and they recruited the new singer, Blaine Fart from another Seattle punk rock band called the Fartz. This is the first full length LP the band ever released, and it chronicles, well, the return of MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD, the band's skull-splattering, flesh-ripping mascot.

1. Martha Splatterhead
MARTHA... you can hear those palm-muted chords rev up the whole shit for the attack! It's fast and Blaine sounds fucking mad. This song originally appeared on the "Martha Splatterhead" EP.

2. Wrong Side of the Grave
The intro is already real exciting! Feel the power in those beats and that violent guitar riff... the screams echo through the darkness. Some parts of this song are fast and some parts are slow.

3. Take My Time
Another song from the E.P. I just love how crazy Mr. Fart sounds here... this makes Minor Threat seem slow. TAKE MY TIME!! The lyrics are about not wanting to waste your time trying to get rich and how striving for power is pointless and stupid anyways.

4. Distractions
Originally from "Martha Splatterhead". Fast and angry. Not one of my favorites from the album, but still pretty decent. The lyrics are about a person who's striving to be a straight member of society and then starts getting distracted by fights and drugs and porno.

5. Buried Alive
This sounds so much like Bad Brains. Bad Brains but really angry instead of Rastafarian. Rastafari sucks anyways. Remember "I Hate Reggae" by Poison Idea? Yeah. Sweet fucking guitar solo in the middle!

6. Show No Mercy
Another one o' muh favorites. It's not quite as fast as some of the others, but it has a really great guitar riff and it's extremely AWESOME, what the hell else can I say?? Wish I had the lyrics for this one.

7. Slow Death
Originally appeared on the Martha Splatterhead 12". This song's about heroin addiction. It starts out slow and then it gets very faster. The song reminds the addict that while they may use their drug as an escape from their problems, it brings them more near to death each time they inject.

8. Autopsy
Slow creepy intro... then it goes into a slightly faster part, and then a very fast part. Check out that groovy riff for the verse part! It's like a wackky spider on crack!

9. She's Killer
Yet another great. It's intense, super fast, the singing sounds great. It's a wild ride! There is one slow part in the middle. Everything else is frantic just like it all should be! Sounds amazing.

10. In a Death Bed
The guitar riff is awesome. DYING. YOU'RE DYING (i'M dying)...

11. Lonely Place
THE WORLD'S A LONELY PLACE AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE. The lyrics to this one are kind of sad. And it's fast.

12. Fucking for Bucks
In this song, the band advertises their FUCKING4BUCKS task featforce in which they will fuck rich women in exchange for CASH! ORAL, ANAL, IN THE PUSSY BOX! Ya heard it... MOE LESTER. AND I AM THE WIZARD. FUCKING FOR BUCKS. FAST SHREDDIN' CHORDS. SKFDSKKDGKDFKGFDKKGKKKGKGJFDHGFGHFGHFGJGHJGHJHJHKJL;KJLKJ FUCKING FUCKING FOR BUCKS FUCKING BUTTS FOR BUCKS... originally appeared on "Martha Splatterhead".

13. Martha's Revenge
I love the moaning and laughing at the beginning... fucking AWESOME. Great job, Mr. Cook. BLAINE, that iz. MARTHA'S GUNNA KILL YOU. What else can I say? Listen to the goddamn song yourself. I'm tired. WE'RE GONNA GET YOU. TIME TO GO TO SLEEEEP...

So that's the Return of Martha Splatterhead. This record got various re-issues with different cover art but I chose the original to be displayed here. For the most part this record is pretty good but there are a few weak spots. But, it's the fucking Accused and they're awesome so who cares? Personally I think their stuff from "Maddest Stories" to "Splatter Rock" is the best. But still definitely check this out, I don't think you'll regret it if you like gory, splattery, abrasive, rock music that is meant to be listened to late at night when the zombies come out to play. GOOD NIGHT! DON'T LET MARTHA BITE!

Top 3 Favorites:
1. Wrong Side of the Grave
2. Show No Mercy
3. Buried Alive

Review #200: The Accüsed - Martha Splatterhead 12" (1985)

MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD (EP)

Year: 1985

Genre: Hardcore Punk/Thrash Metal
Label: Condor Records
Tracks: 5
Length: 11 Minutes
Style: Violent/Angry
My Rating: 6/8

The Accüsed formed in 1981 and were a part of the early Seattle hardcore scene. Their first record they put out was a split album with the Rejectors (which I already reviewed a few months ago), and the songs were in a typical hardcore punk style. Their original vocalist was John Dahlin, whose work with the band can also be found on their even earlier demo tapes. In mid-1984, the band started to shift their musical style more towards thrash/speed-metal, and with old Johhnyboy unhappy with this change, he was replaced as singer by Blaine Cook, the more notorious singer for the band. Blaine's vocal style is more evil/brutal-sounding, suitable for the more aggressive new sound, I suppose. Like the first album, this EP was only pressed 500 times, so it is extremely rare, but luckily you can find a few places to download it on the internet. Physical copies of the record sell for hundreds of dollars! Also, this record marks the first mention/"appearance" of MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD, the band's mascot -- a zombie/punk type of monster that kills sexual predators for fun and just might kill you too if you get in her way!

1. Distractions
Very fast, as you might expect! The verse riff is pretty awesome-sounding, indeed! The guitar tone is deeper and thicker than it was in the previous Accüsed release. Then there's a real awesome-sounding slow part in the middle with a guitar solo! The riffs here just fucking rock.

2. Martha Splatterhead
You hear somebody whisper in a hilarious girly voice, "MARTHA..." -- then things really get loud! This is the first song about Martha Splatterhead the band wrote, I'm pretty sure. Really fast like the previous song. "HUMAN FLESH... RIPPED APART!!". Blaine's vocals are just as violent as the lyrics themselves. The guitar being played by mister Tommy Niemeyer just SHREDS through yer skull. End of Side A.

3. Slow Death
Starts off slow... then a faster guitar riff plays and Blainey C'mplainey screams... you know the drill. Good guitar riff. Blaine does this sort of menacing fucked-up growl... it sounds awesome. Slow part in the middle (kind of like the beginning of the song). THENITGETSREALLYFUCKINGFASTAGAINBECUZWEREAHARDCOREBANDANDWEONLYPLAYREALLYFASTRGIHT?????????
SLOW DEATH!

4. Take My Time
Another growl and fast heavy metal riff. The verse riff here is really awesome! In the chorus part, another member of the band (not sure which one) sings "TAKE MY TIME", and Blaine's lines alternate with this one. In the mid-section there's a part only half as fast with another cool-sounding guitar riff. THEN BACK TO THE CHORUS ONE MORE TIME, FUCKERS!! HURRAY.

5. Fucks 4 Bucks
The song opens with some lines from Mr. Dr. Sr. (that stands for "Sinister", not "Senior"), Doctor Sinister. I think he also said he was a MOLESTER... HIDE YOUR CHILDREN! HIDE YOUR YOUTHS! WE'VE ALREADY GOT A MOLESTED YOUTH, REMEMBER??!! The band/whoever's supposed to be the people who are "fucking for bucks" in this song... probably the band, because THEY ARE REALLY HORNEY PEOPLE. Yeah, they're fucking for bucks. Slow part in the middle with a real cool guitar riff. But now it's all over. Bye-bye. Doesn't that make you SO SAD? Why don't you just go FIND THE ACCUSED, THEN?? FUCK FOR BUCKS! Here's the band's address if you want to fuck 4 bucks with them:

SHIT, I CAN'T FIND THEIR GODDAMNED ADDRESS!

So here's their e-mail address... you'll just have to settle for this:

booking@splatterrock.com

Tell them you want them to tour your pen0r/vagin0r. hehehehehehe

Anyways, that was a pretty good listen, don'tcha think? Musically it's not really too different from most crossover-thrash bands of the mid 1980s but the band has much more personality and particularity than a lot of the other bands... they like their politics but they also like their SPLATTER-ROCK! I really really admire Blaine's vocal style, it sounds so wild and it gives you the mental idea that they live and breathe the lifestyle of their EP's namesake... the riffs are real good, the music is fast and intense, and when it's not it's just slow and intense. For those of you who have really bad attention-spans it's not very long either, but the songs aren't so short that you barely get to appreciate them. My favorite songs on this record are "Distractions", Take My Time", and "Slow Death". Oh, and just to let you know, the sound quality on this record is really grainy and underproduced so don't expect anything that sounds real crisp sound-wise. Anyways, if you like it when punk meets metal and then they both get decapitated by vengeful zombies, then this is for you!

Review #185: Mr. Bungle - Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny (1986)

RAGING WRATH OF THE EASTER BUNNY

Year: 1986

Genre: Thrash Metal/Experimental Rock
Label: Ladd-Frith Productions
Tracks: 8
Length: 35 Minutes
Style: Angry/Weird
My Rating: 6/8

Mr. Bungle was the first (well-known, at least) band that Mike Patton (also in Faith No More & Fantomas) was in. The band started back in 1985, as part of a high school talent show where they mainly just dicked around (it's even on videotape!), but quickly they assumed more of a super-angry crossover-thrash style, and they would eventually become more of a goofy funk-metal group not too different from Faith No More itself, but in 1986 they released their first cassette-only album (with the green label), and let's hear it NOWWW...

1. Grizzly Adams
Warm and sad-sounding acoustic guitar instrumental tune, with a little lead off to the side (right), it's very calm-sounding, so let's jusst sit back and relax for a little while and bathe in the melancholy of it all... this is really really beautiful-sounding. Just when you least expect it, now, the song becomes extremely loud and metallic and more dangerous-sounding, but that doesn't last for very long...

2. Anarchy Up Your Anus
Starts off with a really loud angry-sounding riff with Mike reciting lines from the book "Snow White" in a calm voice. The song pauses and then speeds up. Wow, now I know why the Accused almost chose Mike Patton as their new vocalist! He really does sound just like Blaine Cook on this album! AN-AR-CHY upyouranus! The riffs are lightning-quick and sound just as much like a blender as musical instruments!

3. Spreading the Thighs of Death
Ooh, sounds sexy! This song starts off with a scream and the tempo is fast but not that fast. The song pauses and the other guitar which sounds really quiet can be heard playing, and then the song is really fucking fast, with Mike Patton's brutal vocals lighting the way in an otherwise directionless ever-changing muck of pure-y fury! Then there's one part with a bunch of squealing noises from the guitars and the band moaning and groaning in CONFUSION (is sex). GUITAR SOLO!! There's one relatively melodic part of the song around 3 1/2 minutes, but there's very little repetition in this song so it doesn't last long. Is it wrong that the name of this song somewhat gives me a boner?

4. Hypocrites
This one sounds a bit more like plain old hardcore. Slow beginning, and then it gets real fast, and then I'm hearing a part of "La Cucaracha". Then there's a fucking ska section of the song, can you believe it? "We're hypocrites, but we're not hypocrites". Soon enough, the ska section ends for a repeat of the first two parts of the song. Totally awesome!! Then there's a really really cool Sabbath-esque guitar solo after that. It's really cool-soundin', man!

5. Bungle Grind
This song's absolutely awesome. All the riffs here fucking rule. It alternates between so many different parts it's not funny, and Mike's voice sounds like a cross between Roger Miret and Blaine Cook in this song. The verse riff meanwhile sounds so desperate yet energetic. It sounds so awesome when he belts out that line "Life... is a fucking... JAILLLL!!!!!". Then he tells us to 'do the Bungle Grind'. HOW to do it is not explained, however. The guitar just chugs along like a giant fucking steamroller. The drums are audible but very blurry so I can't comment much on how awesome those sound. End of Side A.

6. Raping Your Mind
LOUD, FAST, HEAVY, PISSED-OFF. Like a monster. Mash. Like a monster mash, kidz. They shred really fast!! It's like a jillion angry bumble-bees buzzing and stinging people all at once. Imagine that racket! Dissonant Melvins-like chord progressions punctuate the verse riffs. Then there's some crazy overblown solo-age going on.

7. Evil Satan
This one's a little more experimental and punk-sounding. There's a neat watery guitar sound and a bongo beat, but then the tempo changes and you hear Mike Patton rapping the lyrics here; the first instance of the vocal style he'd be more recognized for later. There's horns in here (being played by Mister Trey Spruance who wrote half of the songs for this record) also. Every now and then he sings in that angry brutal tone. Name an instrument, it was probably used in this song. Harmonicas, trumpets, kazoos, bongo drums, cymbals, etc.

8. Sudden Death
Blues-y tempo and a vicious tearing guitar riff. After a minute and a half, the song becomes very fast like you might expect! REALLY FUCKING FAST at some points. The great riffs just keep going. I like some of the clattering drum sounds, also. You hear Trevor doing some backing vocals with Mike at one part. At another point, you hear video game music (probably Nintendo) sychronized with the thrashing madness of the band's own music! I DUNNO I DUNNO. Hearing the vocal duties go back and forth between Mike and the rest of the band sounds very good. And it's totally the longest song on the tape, 'cuz it's just over 7 whole minutes long. And that's the end.

Well, that was fucking wild. Having heard "The Real Thing" by Faith No More where Mike Patton's voice sounds much cleaner, it's hard to believe he can pull off those sorts of screams and growls! And even though they were playing thrash metal here, the weird element is definitely already there, with the band willing to pull off any bonus trick in the hat to surprise you! It's really something else, it's super-angry and aggressive-sounding music but manages to keep a little weirdness and humor in there as well. The sound of the music is extremely lo-fi, probably recorded directly to cassette tape, but this album is not considered a demo, so the self-titled LP from 1991 is NOT the first Mr. Bungle album (much like people incorrectly label "God Ween Satan" as the first Ween album). They were only about my age (or close) when they recorded this, so this is really impressive. Things would get a little funkier for the band's music, they graduated high school, and Mike Patton's musical career has really taken off since this point. But even with that unconsidered, this album SERIOUSLY rocks, and if you like thrash metal bands with a punk edge like the Accused and Suicidal Tendencies, or even grindcore or death metal like Napalm Death, then DO check this out, man.

Top 3 Favorites:
1. Bungle Grind
2. Hypocrites
3. Grizzly Adams

A REALLY EARLY MR. BUNGLE PERFORMANCE:

Review #173: Black Breath - Razor to Obilivion (EP) (2008)

RAZOR TO OBLIVION (EP)

Year: 2008
Genre: Thrash Metal/Hardcore Punk
Label: Hot Mass Records
Tracks: 4
Length: 14 Minutes
Style: Angry
My Rating: 5/8

Ah, Seattle... home of, well, ROCK AND ROLL music. Black Breath is a crossover thrash/hardcore band from the area and this is their first release ever, called "Razor to Oblivion", and it's 12 inches wide and it's gawt four songs and the razor cuts the space-time fabric apart, which creates a tear leading to Oblivion. Makes sense, now don't it? Well, okay. There's two songs on four sides of the album. Wait, no, I meant two sides on each song of the -- SHIT, I mean two songs on two sides of the album! God DAMN IT. Anyways, that would be four songs. Which are on this album. The band consists of... well, I dunno. Maybe I should go ask 'em. But I'm lazy and I wanna get to the point, now. So hear I go.

1. Razor to Oblivion
Fast beat and the song has a real bad-ass riff. The vocals are kinda scream-y, but they're still alright. This song is more of a straight-up hardcore song, but there's some good lead guitar scattered here n' there as well. Cool slow part in the middle. Then after that, there's a guitar solo. Good song.

2. Beneath the Crust
The beat at the beginning of the song rules! The guitar riff here is a bit heavier-sounding. I like the alternating between two different beats during the verse section of the song, it's an awesome touch. After that, the song transitions into a part that's really fast like the first song. After this part, the song slows down briefly and there's a false stop with clock sounds and the last section is slow, and GOD DAMMIT, can this guy sing in any other voice? End of Side 1.

3. Fatal Error
The intro to this song feels like a giant wood-chipper shredding up your skull. Once again, fast. Cool riff. Angry singing. The part around 1 minute and 30 seconds sounds cool. Then after that there's a slow part which is basically the same riff being played in a different tempo. Did he just say "poor little nigger"?

4. Murder
This one's rather slow. Midway through the song gets a little faster. And then there's some pretty cool riff-age in another section of the track. Good drumming, definitely. The track that I have cuts off at about two minutes and thirty seconds, so I don't know what happens next. So that's all I know. Right now.

Well, it's a pretty decent listen, especially for fans of metal-influenced hardcore. My only complaint is that the singer only sings in ONE FUCKING VOICE. Yeah, the scream. Seriously, this would be way more entertaining if he had more character to his singing style. But nope, expect to hear the exact same screamed vocal style throughout the entire EP. Sorry... otherwise this music is pretty damn good. And it has a pretty awesome cover, might I add. This year, the band released their first full album, which is more heavy metal than punk, and I haven't listened to it, but it's released on Southern Lord records, a notable metal label, n' all that shit. So, check it out or don't. It's all up to youuuu (dununununun...).

Review #28: A.N.S. - Pressure Cracks (2009)

PRESSURE CRACKS

Year: 2009

Genre: Heavy Metal, Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Thrash, Hardcore
Label: Tankcrime Records
Tracks: 9
Length: 21 Minutes (Medium-Length)
Style: Angry
My Rating: 6/8

As the newest release from A.N.S., this one features the band delving into the thrash-metal genre. Whether that's what they'll be for the rest of their career or not is unknown. Still, this is a pretty good album that takes advantage of a new, more metal-y sound.

For this record, the band signed to Tankcrimes Records, a metal and punk label. Much like their previous album, the '80s influences can still be heard, and there's a track that totally reminds me of something off of "My War" by Black Flag. But, here's the important part. The review.

1. I Killed Porcho
Starts with a soundclip of the infamous Henry Rollins vs. Unnamed 15-Year-Old Kid interview where the kid is saying "you going a little slow heavy metal, kinda? Maybe?", to which Greg Ginn replies "a little zany, a little wasty..." the song starts. This one is really fast. You can hear the hyper-fast metal guitar riffs and the heavy inclusion of guitar leads. Great first song!

2. Down the Rabbit Hole
Another fast song, but not as fast as the last song. It's the shortest song on the album. Ends VERY fast.

3. If You Don't Get It Now...
A slow intro. The song itself is pretty fast. Closer to just plain ol' hardcore, here. I love the vocals, here.

4. Seized by Fascists
"Nazis... I hate these guys" -- the song opens with that line. The vocals here are pretty badass, and the song itself is also really good! Towards the end there is an awesome lead-solo. I listen to this song in the car a lot.

5. Speak to Me
Makes extensive use of lead guitar. Interesting beat, here. 2/3 through the song, it slows down. Eventually, it fades out. End of Side 1.

6. Tunnel Vision
You too can have "tunnel vision"! Just take a toilet paper roll and stick it in your eye! For real, though, this is another thrash song. Nothing extremely interesting here, but it's a good song.

7. The All Consumer
Starts RELATIVELY fast... then it gets REALLY FUCKING FAST... until getting about as fast as it started... and then it gets REALLY FUCKING FAST again. THEN IT STAYS REALLY FUCKING FAST, WITH A SOLO! THEN IT GETS REALLY FUCKING SLOW, and the singer starts yelling about how he "won't let it control him", and how "the morning has come". So basically, the first half of the song is ultra-fast, and the second half is really slow.

8. Instru-Monu-Mental
Opens with a pretty nice riff. Starts as a slow song, but it gets faster once the drums appear before yer airs. Basically somewhat art-punk sounding music accompanied by spoken poetry by Chris. This one has a good solo.

9. Bleeding
Starts with the ringing of a large bell. Another slow song. This one will remind you of "My War"-era Black Flag. Very interesting-sounding, introspective lyrics (though I can't understand them all). Awesome screams. The song actually gets fast 2/3 through! In this ending section, there iz, in fact, a neat-o sol-o. And then, it ends. No hidden track for you.

This is a very good album. While I'd like to see A.N.S. do a little plain o' punk here and there ('cause they're actually good at that), they are still just as great as a metal band. If "The Pool" was like the product of a strange sexual interaction between "Damaged" and "Suicidal Tendencides", then this album is the bastard child of "My War" and "Join the Army"! One of the actual SOLID albums of 2009! If you like punk or metal, then this iz for you.

Review #27: Suicidal Tendencies - Year of the Cycos (2009)

YEAR OF THE CYCOS

Year: 2009

Genre: Heavy Metal, Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Thrash, Funk-Metal, Hardcore
Label: Suicidal Records
Tracks: 14
Length: 52 Minutes (Long)
Style: Angry/Rebellious/Funny
My Rating: 7/8

Suicidal Tendencies is a hardcore-punk-turned-thrash-metal band from California (in the U.S. of A.). They basically released a lot of albums throughout the 1980s and 1990s, and they released albums called "Free Your Soul and Save My Mind" and "Friends and Family, Vol. 2" before taking a really really long break. Well, they're back now, and they haven't lost very much steam.

It's not all Suicidal, though. This album has tracks from Mike Muir's other bands as well, such as Infectious Grooves and No Mercy. Hell, we might as well just call this a "Mike Muir" album since everything on this has Mike Muir in it. Anyways, on to the review...

1. No Mercy Fool
"LET'S KICK THE DUST OFF THIS MOTHA!" -- next thing we know, it's a great metal song. This is basically just a really good song that rocks hard. Nice solos, awesome riff. It's just good. It feels good. Nice n' slow... until the ultra-fast midsection! That's where the thrash part kicks in.

2. Come Alive
They made a music video for this one. Starts with some nice slap-bass. "I'M ALIVE!!", screams Mike. This is a fast song. A lot of funky-soundin' guitar leads, here. The first half of the song is more metal-based, but the second half is more hardcore-ish.

3. Cyco Side of the Brain
This one's kinda weird. It's a funk-metal song. Most of the vocals are rapped, here. Not bad, but not my favorite track on the album either.

4. Life's Longer Than Just One Day
This one is great. An anthem against false authority and propaganda and a celebration of the fact that life is often long. The first part of the song has a beautiful acoustic guitar riff, but about a minute into the song, it gets heavier and slightly faster. One of the most truly awesome songs to come out in awhile.

5. It's the Groove... Don't Fight It [Infectious Grooves]
An aggressive funk-metal song with strange synth organs. If that's your thing, then it's pretty awesome in that aspect, but I like the Suicidal Tendencies stuff more. Still, it's an alright song.

6. Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right
'80s-style thrash metal. Alternates between slower and hyper-fast parts. The album's title, "Year of the Cycos" is derived from a line in this song.

7. Big Man [Cyco Miko]
Funky "wah-wahs", dirging metal guitar, and slap-bass. Basically a song singing about how "It takes a Big Man" to do all of this shit. This one has psychedelic elements to it, but otherwise, it could easily pass as a Suicidal Tendencies song.

8. Crazy But Proud [No Mercy]
No Mercy is a thrash metal project made up of Mike Muir, Mike Clark, Ric Clayton, and Sal Troy. A very fast thrash song. A short, slow mid-section.

9. Cyco Vision (Live)
A live performance of "Cyco Vision" from their 1999 album, "Freedumb". Very good song.

10. Beam Me Up [Cyco Miko]
More funk-punk-metal fusion stuff. I'm pretty sure that, like, it's about Mike asking a bunch of aliens in a flying saucer to "beam him up" so he can get outta Earth and visit space. Either that or he's just really tripping on acid.

11. It's Automatic [Infectious Grooves]
The whole song is bass-ed (get it??) around a crazy slap-bass riff. There's a little piano in here, too.

12. My Summer Vacation/All Goes to Hell [Cyco Miko]
Begins with a hilarious short story called "My Summer Vacation". Then there's "All Goes to Hell", which is another story beneath a funk-metal piece.

13. Funny Farm [Infectious Grooves]
I always thought the term "Funny Farm" sounded hilarious. I dunno why, it just does. More slap-bass funk.

14. The Future's Now
This one's alright, but it could've been better. I just don't like the riff that much. But it's still alright.

This album pretty much picks up where Suicidal Tendencies left off in the earlier part of this decade, and it's got a lot of solid songs, and for the most part, it's a very good record! Check it aut.

MUSIC VIDEO FOR "COME ALIVE":