Review #240: The Accüsed - The Return of Martha Splatterhead (1986)

THE RETURN OF MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD

Year: 1986
Genre: Hardcore Punk/Thrash Metal
Label: Subcore Records
Tracks: 13
Length: 31 Minutes
My Rating: 6/8

The Accüsed are a hardcore/thrash band from Seattle, Washington. They formed in 1981 as a standard hardcore band with their original vocalist, John Dahlin, was the old singer... things took a change sometimes in 1984 when the band decided to venture into a more heavy metal-influenced sound, and they recruited the new singer, Blaine Fart from another Seattle punk rock band called the Fartz. This is the first full length LP the band ever released, and it chronicles, well, the return of MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD, the band's skull-splattering, flesh-ripping mascot.

1. Martha Splatterhead
MARTHA... you can hear those palm-muted chords rev up the whole shit for the attack! It's fast and Blaine sounds fucking mad. This song originally appeared on the "Martha Splatterhead" EP.

2. Wrong Side of the Grave
The intro is already real exciting! Feel the power in those beats and that violent guitar riff... the screams echo through the darkness. Some parts of this song are fast and some parts are slow.

3. Take My Time
Another song from the E.P. I just love how crazy Mr. Fart sounds here... this makes Minor Threat seem slow. TAKE MY TIME!! The lyrics are about not wanting to waste your time trying to get rich and how striving for power is pointless and stupid anyways.

4. Distractions
Originally from "Martha Splatterhead". Fast and angry. Not one of my favorites from the album, but still pretty decent. The lyrics are about a person who's striving to be a straight member of society and then starts getting distracted by fights and drugs and porno.

5. Buried Alive
This sounds so much like Bad Brains. Bad Brains but really angry instead of Rastafarian. Rastafari sucks anyways. Remember "I Hate Reggae" by Poison Idea? Yeah. Sweet fucking guitar solo in the middle!

6. Show No Mercy
Another one o' muh favorites. It's not quite as fast as some of the others, but it has a really great guitar riff and it's extremely AWESOME, what the hell else can I say?? Wish I had the lyrics for this one.

7. Slow Death
Originally appeared on the Martha Splatterhead 12". This song's about heroin addiction. It starts out slow and then it gets very faster. The song reminds the addict that while they may use their drug as an escape from their problems, it brings them more near to death each time they inject.

8. Autopsy
Slow creepy intro... then it goes into a slightly faster part, and then a very fast part. Check out that groovy riff for the verse part! It's like a wackky spider on crack!

9. She's Killer
Yet another great. It's intense, super fast, the singing sounds great. It's a wild ride! There is one slow part in the middle. Everything else is frantic just like it all should be! Sounds amazing.

10. In a Death Bed
The guitar riff is awesome. DYING. YOU'RE DYING (i'M dying)...

11. Lonely Place
THE WORLD'S A LONELY PLACE AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE. The lyrics to this one are kind of sad. And it's fast.

12. Fucking for Bucks
In this song, the band advertises their FUCKING4BUCKS task featforce in which they will fuck rich women in exchange for CASH! ORAL, ANAL, IN THE PUSSY BOX! Ya heard it... MOE LESTER. AND I AM THE WIZARD. FUCKING FOR BUCKS. FAST SHREDDIN' CHORDS. SKFDSKKDGKDFKGFDKKGKKKGKGJFDHGFGHFGHFGJGHJGHJHJHKJL;KJLKJ FUCKING FUCKING FOR BUCKS FUCKING BUTTS FOR BUCKS... originally appeared on "Martha Splatterhead".

13. Martha's Revenge
I love the moaning and laughing at the beginning... fucking AWESOME. Great job, Mr. Cook. BLAINE, that iz. MARTHA'S GUNNA KILL YOU. What else can I say? Listen to the goddamn song yourself. I'm tired. WE'RE GONNA GET YOU. TIME TO GO TO SLEEEEP...

So that's the Return of Martha Splatterhead. This record got various re-issues with different cover art but I chose the original to be displayed here. For the most part this record is pretty good but there are a few weak spots. But, it's the fucking Accused and they're awesome so who cares? Personally I think their stuff from "Maddest Stories" to "Splatter Rock" is the best. But still definitely check this out, I don't think you'll regret it if you like gory, splattery, abrasive, rock music that is meant to be listened to late at night when the zombies come out to play. GOOD NIGHT! DON'T LET MARTHA BITE!

Top 3 Favorites:
1. Wrong Side of the Grave
2. Show No Mercy
3. Buried Alive

Review #200: The Accüsed - Martha Splatterhead 12" (1985)

MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD (EP)

Year: 1985

Genre: Hardcore Punk/Thrash Metal
Label: Condor Records
Tracks: 5
Length: 11 Minutes
Style: Violent/Angry
My Rating: 6/8

The Accüsed formed in 1981 and were a part of the early Seattle hardcore scene. Their first record they put out was a split album with the Rejectors (which I already reviewed a few months ago), and the songs were in a typical hardcore punk style. Their original vocalist was John Dahlin, whose work with the band can also be found on their even earlier demo tapes. In mid-1984, the band started to shift their musical style more towards thrash/speed-metal, and with old Johhnyboy unhappy with this change, he was replaced as singer by Blaine Cook, the more notorious singer for the band. Blaine's vocal style is more evil/brutal-sounding, suitable for the more aggressive new sound, I suppose. Like the first album, this EP was only pressed 500 times, so it is extremely rare, but luckily you can find a few places to download it on the internet. Physical copies of the record sell for hundreds of dollars! Also, this record marks the first mention/"appearance" of MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD, the band's mascot -- a zombie/punk type of monster that kills sexual predators for fun and just might kill you too if you get in her way!

1. Distractions
Very fast, as you might expect! The verse riff is pretty awesome-sounding, indeed! The guitar tone is deeper and thicker than it was in the previous Accüsed release. Then there's a real awesome-sounding slow part in the middle with a guitar solo! The riffs here just fucking rock.

2. Martha Splatterhead
You hear somebody whisper in a hilarious girly voice, "MARTHA..." -- then things really get loud! This is the first song about Martha Splatterhead the band wrote, I'm pretty sure. Really fast like the previous song. "HUMAN FLESH... RIPPED APART!!". Blaine's vocals are just as violent as the lyrics themselves. The guitar being played by mister Tommy Niemeyer just SHREDS through yer skull. End of Side A.

3. Slow Death
Starts off slow... then a faster guitar riff plays and Blainey C'mplainey screams... you know the drill. Good guitar riff. Blaine does this sort of menacing fucked-up growl... it sounds awesome. Slow part in the middle (kind of like the beginning of the song). THENITGETSREALLYFUCKINGFASTAGAINBECUZWEREAHARDCOREBANDANDWEONLYPLAYREALLYFASTRGIHT?????????
SLOW DEATH!

4. Take My Time
Another growl and fast heavy metal riff. The verse riff here is really awesome! In the chorus part, another member of the band (not sure which one) sings "TAKE MY TIME", and Blaine's lines alternate with this one. In the mid-section there's a part only half as fast with another cool-sounding guitar riff. THEN BACK TO THE CHORUS ONE MORE TIME, FUCKERS!! HURRAY.

5. Fucks 4 Bucks
The song opens with some lines from Mr. Dr. Sr. (that stands for "Sinister", not "Senior"), Doctor Sinister. I think he also said he was a MOLESTER... HIDE YOUR CHILDREN! HIDE YOUR YOUTHS! WE'VE ALREADY GOT A MOLESTED YOUTH, REMEMBER??!! The band/whoever's supposed to be the people who are "fucking for bucks" in this song... probably the band, because THEY ARE REALLY HORNEY PEOPLE. Yeah, they're fucking for bucks. Slow part in the middle with a real cool guitar riff. But now it's all over. Bye-bye. Doesn't that make you SO SAD? Why don't you just go FIND THE ACCUSED, THEN?? FUCK FOR BUCKS! Here's the band's address if you want to fuck 4 bucks with them:

SHIT, I CAN'T FIND THEIR GODDAMNED ADDRESS!

So here's their e-mail address... you'll just have to settle for this:

booking@splatterrock.com

Tell them you want them to tour your pen0r/vagin0r. hehehehehehe

Anyways, that was a pretty good listen, don'tcha think? Musically it's not really too different from most crossover-thrash bands of the mid 1980s but the band has much more personality and particularity than a lot of the other bands... they like their politics but they also like their SPLATTER-ROCK! I really really admire Blaine's vocal style, it sounds so wild and it gives you the mental idea that they live and breathe the lifestyle of their EP's namesake... the riffs are real good, the music is fast and intense, and when it's not it's just slow and intense. For those of you who have really bad attention-spans it's not very long either, but the songs aren't so short that you barely get to appreciate them. My favorite songs on this record are "Distractions", Take My Time", and "Slow Death". Oh, and just to let you know, the sound quality on this record is really grainy and underproduced so don't expect anything that sounds real crisp sound-wise. Anyways, if you like it when punk meets metal and then they both get decapitated by vengeful zombies, then this is for you!

Review #160: Rejectors/The Accüsed - Through My Mind's Eye/Please Pardon Our Noise... (1983)

THROUGH MY MIND'S EYE/PLEASE PARDON OUR NOISE...

Year: 1983

Genre: Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Hardcore
Label: Rejectors Records/Fatal Erection Records/Public Safety Records
Tracks: 27
Length: 38 Minutes
Style: Political/Angry
My Rating: 5/8

In 1983, two bands from the infancy of the Seattle punk scene, which was during then home to bands like these two and the Fartz, released a split LP with two titles, so it's pretty much two albums for the price of one. The Rejectors had released a 7" EP a year prior, and as far as I know this is the first record released by the Accüsed. But it's pretty good. The years of the Seattle scene before "grunge"... Buzz Osborne said before bands like this there were just a lot of shitty cover bands... and before THAT, there were artists like Heart and Jimi Hendrix, but that's a whole 'nother topic, so I'm here to review this two-band effort. Let us cunt-inue...

1. Rejectors - "Struggle"
A fast song about using your mind to overcome the restrictions on freedom from the government and mainstream society.

2. Rejectors - "Anti-Patriot"
This song condemns blind patriotism to capitalist and communist governments, and the singer maintains that we must "protest to prevent our extinction" by war.

3. Rejectors - "Gang Bang"
This song tells us to "fuck" the Nazis, the KKK, the Army, and of course, Ronald Reagan. I guess he really does want us to fuck these people. Hence the title, "gang bang". Well, time to go defile Ronald Reagan's dead corpse in some homo-necro-sexual FUN FESTIVITY!

4. Rejectors - "Through My Mind's Eye"
Whaddaya know, another fast song. The song talks about how through our seeing-eyes we only get to see what the system wants us to know and think, but through your "mind's eye" you can use the power of knowledge to see the truth.

5. Rejectors - "No Justice"
An anti-authority song that exposes the government as pulling a false sheet of "justice" over the American people when in reality they can do whatever the hell they want and get away with it.

6. Rejectors - "My World"
The riff reminds me of the Ramones on speed. The song's about an imagined world with no laws, no borders, no war, just freedom and peace.

7. Rejectors - "Conservative Minority"
This one has a lot of meaning today still, with the huge amount of conservative moral-majority types having sort of a resurgence in the U.S.A. today during the bleak Obama era. And for once it's actually a different speed! Basically a "fuck you" to anti-abortion anti-feminsm anti-rights bigots. If there is a Hell, I'm sure Falwell is roasting there, that dickhole...

8. Rejectors - "Masque of A"
The sheet inside the album has the "A" written as an anarchy symbol, but I couldn't find it with Character Map so it's just a regular 'A'. The riff here is pretty cool to listen to. Apparently the song is based on a poem by P. B. Shelley as well. It talks about an anarchist revolution against the government.

9. Rejectors - "Work Machine"
This song exposes the capitalist system which fucks over the working class and everyone except for "those who instigate" and incites a new age of rebellion "now that the Phoenix has come". Pretty cool.

10. Rejectors - "Proud Few"
Starts out with a cool intro that gets progressively faster. This song iz an anti-war song about killing in wars and asking people why they go to war to kill innocent people. Probably so they can get some goddamn money and pay for an education -- that's why most kids I know are joining the army. And it sucks this is the only way for some people. I'd rather be a bum than join the army.

11. Rejectors - "False Prosperity"
I like this one. The melody is great and it's slow and the vocals sound good here. The song sings about a longing for peaceful anarchy and an overthrow of the system which is pretty one-sided.

12. Rejectors - "Change"
"Change"... that word that Obama molested into having absolutely no meaning... except for those quarters and pennies you get back when you pay a few cents more than how much the item you purchased costs. Nice riff. Starts out slow, then it gets fast.

13. Rejectors - "The End"
An apocalyptic doomsday sort of anthem predicting a nuclear blast ending all mankind under the reign of Ronnie Reagan. I like the riff. One of the few songs on the Rejectors side of the album that makes it past two minutes. And that's the end of THIS side of the album. Nowwwww, it iz TIME... for THAT side.

14. The Accüsed - "Tomorrow Belongs to Me"
Personally I prefer this half of the record... the Accüsed's tracks have a little more variety and attitude to them. Sorry, Rejectors. This song is really fast n' short. Cool little bass-line in the beginning of the song.

15. The Accüsed - "Child These Days"
This songproclaims that "time is short for a child these days", portendig that the children of the Reagan era would have little to no future after the expected effects of the Cold War were to take place. Nice singing.

16. The Accüsed - "Bring the Riots to the U.S.A."
The song alludes to a 14-day riot held in the U.K. by punks and skinheads that made the Queen pretty upset, and asks that the punks in the U.S.A. could do the same for the sake of freedom.

17. The Accüsed - "No Reason"
Fast with a slow mid-section. This song condemns the religious wars fueled by people overzealous religious bigots who want to be the only religion that exists on the planet.

18. The Accüsed - "Political Nightmare"
"Political Nightmare" repeated over and over again.

19. The Accüsed - "Gain Green"
This one's real fast and it's got a cool riff. This song's about boring people who chase wealth and money 'cause they have nothing better to do. Than watch T.V. and have a couple of brews... oh, wait.

20. The Accüsed - "I'm a Mistake"
This song describes feeling like a "failed abortion" that society wants to kill/wipe out for not fitting in with the status quo.

21. The Accüsed - "Wake the Fuck Up!"
This song is sung from the viewpoint of the government who tells people who want peace to "stop whining", as they do away with Vietnam and small bombs and the easy life and launch a nuclear WAR.

22. The Accüsed - "What About Later?"
This song's about a kid with a "rich ol' Mom" who pays his way for having a car and a "nice looking girlfriend" and to buy some hash, and nw feels helpless without a job on hs own since his Mom iz dead. Fast sandwich with a slow middle part.

23. The Accüsed - "Live Our Own Lives"
Easly the best song on the album. All the chord progressions are fucking awesome, and it's slow arts interspliced with really fast arts. This song's about how the government shouldn't hold drafts send kids off to war so that they can get a chance to live their own lives in peace.

24. The Accüsed - "Life's a Waste"
LIFE'S A WASTE WHEN EVERYONE CONSTANTLY TELLS YOU YOU'RE WRONG. THAT IZ WHAT THIS SONG'S ABOUT.

25. The Accüsed - "Like You"
Third song in a row to start with the letters "L" and "i". HA HA HA. HAAAAA. Neat heavy metal-sounding intro. "I pick my nose (like you), I scratch my butt (like you), I eat some food (like you), I'll pop a lude (like you); I'm no different, I'm the same -- the only difference is you're so lame!"

26. The Accüsed - "Reagan's War Puppets"
Another really great song! I first heard it when the Melvins covered it on an old live bootleg of them playing in 1986, but this version is slower and longer than the Melvins' version (usually they do that the other way around). It pokes a little fun at the army, calling them just "war puppets" for Ronald Reagan, predicting a war in El Salvador. Awesome vocals here. Such a catchy riff...

27. The Accüsed - "The Right"
Th song shws the mpete and total rony f the "rght to reman silent" and it's real fast and sht lke you prbably exected. Bt my keybrd sck.

Yeah, T'S taken longer than normal to write ths revew cause my keybard has taken the anarchst ilphis f the tw bands to heart and s revolting against the opressve reign f my fingers and 've been trying t cver t p but 'M GIN p becase tying lke this scks, bt eh, this ewas a pretty god record bt it cold be better. The Rejecs side okay but I like the Accsed side pretty good. The Rejectors were pretty much done after this, but the Accüsed went on and became more of a thrash-metal band, so they have a lot of albums after this to listen to. But that's all I have to say, looks like my keyboard is working alright again. Stay legit and stuff. Bye bye.

Top 3 Favorites:
1. Live Our Lives (The Accüsed)
2. Reagan's War Puppets (The Accüsed)
3. Gain Green (The Accüsed)