Year:1986 Genre: Hardcore Punk/Thrash Metal Label: Subcore Records Tracks: 13 Length: 31 Minutes My Rating: 6/8
The Accüsed are a hardcore/thrash band from Seattle, Washington. They formed in 1981 as a standard hardcore band with their original vocalist, John Dahlin, was the old singer... things took a change sometimes in 1984 when the band decided to venture into a more heavy metal-influenced sound, and they recruited the new singer, Blaine Fart from another Seattle punk rock band called the Fartz. This is the first full length LP the band ever released, and it chronicles, well, the return of MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD, the band's skull-splattering, flesh-ripping mascot.
1. Martha Splatterhead MARTHA... you can hear those palm-muted chords rev up the whole shit for the attack! It's fast and Blaine sounds fucking mad. This song originally appeared on the "Martha Splatterhead" EP.
2. Wrong Side of the Grave The intro is already real exciting! Feel the power in those beats and that violent guitar riff... the screams echo through the darkness. Some parts of this song are fast and some parts are slow.
3. Take My Time Another song from the E.P. I just love how crazy Mr. Fart sounds here... this makes Minor Threat seem slow. TAKE MY TIME!! The lyrics are about not wanting to waste your time trying to get rich and how striving for power is pointless and stupid anyways.
4. Distractions Originally from "Martha Splatterhead". Fast and angry. Not one of my favorites from the album, but still pretty decent. The lyrics are about a person who's striving to be a straight member of society and then starts getting distracted by fights and drugs and porno.
5. Buried Alive This sounds so much like Bad Brains. Bad Brains but really angry instead of Rastafarian. Rastafari sucks anyways. Remember "I Hate Reggae" by Poison Idea? Yeah. Sweet fucking guitar solo in the middle!
6. Show No Mercy Another one o' muh favorites. It's not quite as fast as some of the others, but it has a really great guitar riff and it's extremely AWESOME, what the hell else can I say?? Wish I had the lyrics for this one.
7. Slow Death Originally appeared on the Martha Splatterhead 12". This song's about heroin addiction. It starts out slow and then it gets very faster. The song reminds the addict that while they may use their drug as an escape from their problems, it brings them more near to death each time they inject.
8. Autopsy Slow creepy intro... then it goes into a slightly faster part, and then a very fast part. Check out that groovy riff for the verse part! It's like a wackky spider on crack!
9. She's Killer Yet another great. It's intense, super fast, the singing sounds great. It's a wild ride! There is one slow part in the middle. Everything else is frantic just like it all should be! Sounds amazing.
10. In a Death Bed The guitar riff is awesome. DYING. YOU'RE DYING (i'M dying)...
11. Lonely Place THE WORLD'S A LONELY PLACE AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE. The lyrics to this one are kind of sad. And it's fast.
12. Fucking for Bucks In this song, the band advertises their FUCKING4BUCKS task featforce in which they will fuck rich women in exchange for CASH! ORAL, ANAL, IN THE PUSSY BOX! Ya heard it... MOE LESTER. AND I AM THE WIZARD. FUCKING FOR BUCKS. FAST SHREDDIN' CHORDS. SKFDSKKDGKDFKGFDKKGKKKGKGJFDHGFGHFGHFGJGHJGHJHJHKJL;KJLKJ FUCKING FUCKING FOR BUCKS FUCKING BUTTS FOR BUCKS... originally appeared on "Martha Splatterhead".
13. Martha's Revenge I love the moaning and laughing at the beginning... fucking AWESOME. Great job, Mr. Cook. BLAINE, that iz. MARTHA'S GUNNA KILL YOU. What else can I say? Listen to the goddamn song yourself. I'm tired. WE'RE GONNA GET YOU. TIME TO GO TO SLEEEEP...
So that's the Return of Martha Splatterhead. This record got various re-issues with different cover art but I chose the original to be displayed here. For the most part this record is pretty good but there are a few weak spots. But, it's the fucking Accused and they're awesome so who cares? Personally I think their stuff from "Maddest Stories" to "Splatter Rock" is the best. But still definitely check this out, I don't think you'll regret it if you like gory, splattery, abrasive, rock music that is meant to be listened to late at night when the zombies come out to play. GOOD NIGHT! DON'T LET MARTHA BITE!
Top 3 Favorites: 1. Wrong Side of the Grave 2. Show No Mercy 3. Buried Alive
Genre: Hardcore Punk/Thrash Metal Label: Condor Records Tracks: 5 Length: 11 Minutes Style:Violent/Angry My Rating: 6/8
The Accüsed formed in 1981 and were a part of the early Seattle hardcore scene. Their first record they put out was a split album with the Rejectors (which I already reviewed a few months ago), and the songs were in a typical hardcore punk style. Their original vocalist was John Dahlin, whose work with the band can also be found on their even earlier demo tapes. In mid-1984, the band started to shift their musical style more towards thrash/speed-metal, and with old Johhnyboy unhappy with this change, he was replaced as singer by Blaine Cook, the more notorious singer for the band. Blaine's vocal style is more evil/brutal-sounding, suitable for the more aggressive new sound, I suppose. Like the first album, this EP was only pressed 500 times, so it is extremely rare, but luckily you can find a few places to download it on the internet. Physical copies of the record sell for hundreds of dollars! Also, this record marks the first mention/"appearance" of MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD, the band's mascot -- a zombie/punk type of monster that kills sexual predators for fun and just might kill you too if you get in her way!
1. Distractions Very fast, as you might expect! The verse riff is pretty awesome-sounding, indeed! The guitar tone is deeper and thicker than it was in the previous Accüsed release. Then there's a real awesome-sounding slow part in the middle with a guitar solo! The riffs here just fucking rock.
2. Martha Splatterhead You hear somebody whisper in a hilarious girly voice, "MARTHA..." -- then things really get loud! This is the first song about Martha Splatterhead the band wrote, I'm pretty sure. Really fast like the previous song. "HUMAN FLESH... RIPPED APART!!". Blaine's vocals are just as violent as the lyrics themselves. The guitar being played by mister Tommy Niemeyer just SHREDS through yer skull. End of Side A.
3. Slow Death Starts off slow... then a faster guitar riff plays and Blainey C'mplainey screams... you know the drill. Good guitar riff. Blaine does this sort of menacing fucked-up growl... it sounds awesome. Slow part in the middle (kind of like the beginning of the song). THENITGETSREALLYFUCKINGFASTAGAINBECUZWEREAHARDCOREBANDANDWEONLYPLAYREALLYFASTRGIHT????????? SLOW DEATH!
4. Take My Time Another growl and fast heavy metal riff. The verse riff here is really awesome! In the chorus part, another member of the band (not sure which one) sings "TAKE MY TIME", and Blaine's lines alternate with this one. In the mid-section there's a part only half as fast with another cool-sounding guitar riff. THEN BACK TO THE CHORUS ONE MORE TIME, FUCKERS!! HURRAY.
5. Fucks 4 Bucks The song opens with some lines from Mr. Dr. Sr. (that stands for "Sinister", not "Senior"), Doctor Sinister. I think he also said he was a MOLESTER... HIDE YOUR CHILDREN! HIDE YOUR YOUTHS! WE'VE ALREADY GOT A MOLESTED YOUTH, REMEMBER??!! The band/whoever's supposed to be the people who are "fucking for bucks" in this song... probably the band, because THEY ARE REALLY HORNEY PEOPLE. Yeah, they're fucking for bucks. Slow part in the middle with a real cool guitar riff. But now it's all over. Bye-bye. Doesn't that make you SO SAD? Why don't you just go FIND THE ACCUSED, THEN?? FUCK FOR BUCKS! Here's the band's address if you want to fuck 4 bucks with them:
SHIT, I CAN'T FIND THEIR GODDAMNED ADDRESS!
So here's their e-mail address... you'll just have to settle for this:
booking@splatterrock.com
Tell them you want them to tour your pen0r/vagin0r.hehehehehehe
Anyways, that was a pretty good listen, don'tcha think? Musically it's not really too different from most crossover-thrash bands of the mid 1980s but the band has much more personality and particularity than a lot of the other bands... they like their politics but they also like their SPLATTER-ROCK! I really really admire Blaine's vocal style, it sounds so wild and it gives you the mental idea that they live and breathe the lifestyle of their EP's namesake... the riffs are real good, the music is fast and intense, and when it's not it's just slow and intense. For those of you who have really bad attention-spans it's not very long either, but the songs aren't so short that you barely get to appreciate them. My favorite songs on this record are "Distractions", Take My Time", and "Slow Death". Oh, and just to let you know, the sound quality on this record is really grainy and underproduced so don't expect anything that sounds real crisp sound-wise. Anyways, if you like it when punk meets metal and then they both get decapitated by vengeful zombies, then this is for you!
Genre: Post-Punk/Heavy Metal/Hardcore Punk Label: C/Z Records Tracks: 14 Length: 43 Minutes Style:Emotional/Weird/Angry My Rating: 7/8
Look, I know I already wrote a review of this record, but I wrote that one over a year ago and my early reviews didn't do that record very much justice (just ice!), so I'm re-doing it because it's fun to revisit cool records like that anyways.
DEEP SIX is sort of like the first "grunge" record, not counting the first Green River album, because besides that album it was the first official appearance for many of the more famous northwest punk/metal bands such as Soundgarden, the Melvins, Malfunkshun, etc. And like the title suggests, there are SIX bands featured on this record, some contributing more than others. Also the debut release from C/Z Records, with the second being the first Melvins EP. You'll hear some early Green River tunes, the Melvins still in their hardcore punk mode, a very lo-fi Soundgarden, one wild U-Men tune, and some of only Malfunkshun songs ever released in Andrew Wood's lifetime. Also Skin Yard with saxophones! These six bands all visited the Ironwood Studios in Seattle, Washington and recorded some songs, because very few labels were around to make records for the bands so this was a first opportunity for many of the Seattle rock bands that didn't fall into the other aging scenes. Look, "GRUNGE" is just a term made up by the mainstream media who were and have always been oblivious to the idea of punk authenticity and the idea that not every style of music has a super-specific sound. Metal isn't ONLY just angry guys wearing all black groaning about Satan and punk isn't ONLY just people with mohawks playing really fast music about anarchy. The mainstream media, unaware of this concept, because all of these new bands weren't living stereotypes, dubbed it "grunge" because the only stereotype you could pin on '90s underground rock bands were that they all looked kind of "grungy". Green River didn't come up with the term, they said, "PURE GRUNGE! PURE SHIT!" -- it was a joke, "grunge" was originally a term for grime and dirt, very fitting in this context. Nirvana? Heavy version of the Beatles. Alice in Chains? Soundgarden? Sound like fucking Black Sabbath. Pearl Jam? '70s hard rock with twangy vocals. Mudhoney? A really good Stooges rip-off. You see where I'm getting at here. These bands were essentially revisiting styles of music that already existed but actually managed to sound original because. But they had nothing in common besides taking a lot of cues from '70s heavy metal. Anyways, who cares? Apparently I cared enough to write all that, so there's yer answer, dudde. "Dudde". "Dudde Castles". "Come see them". "The Dudde Castles, a historical site for your viewing pleasure, eeeheheheheee!!".
Well, where was I going with this? Oh yes, Deep Six! It's got songs from all six bands, so let's cut to the chase and start listening to DEEP SIX, shall we? Okay. Here we go. One two three four five six seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty One. Twenty Two. Twenty Three. Twenty Four. Twenty Five. Twenty Six. Twenty Seven. Twenty Eight. Twenty Nine. Thirty. Thirty One. Thirty Two. Thirty Three. Thirty Four. Thirty Five. Thirty Six. Thirty Seven. Thirty Eight. Thirty Nine. Forty. Forty One. Forty Two. Forty Three. Forty Four. Forty Five. Forty Six. Forty Seven. Forty Eight. Forty Nine. Fifty. Fifty One. Fifty Two. Fifty Three. Fifty Four. Fifty Five. Fifty Six. Fifty Seven. Fifty Eight. Fifty Nine. Sixty. Sixty One. Sixty Two. Sixty Three. Sixty Four. Sixty Five. Sixty Six. Sixty Seven. Sixty Eight. Sixty Nine.
1. Green River - "10,000 Things" First off is a Green River song. Called 10,000 Things. That's more things than I just counted in that last paragraph! Marky Army sings about having "10,000 things chasing him"... now just imagine that when he said "things" he was talking about "pennises". HAHEHEHEHEHEHO. It's a pretty nice angsty hard rock tune. Great heavy riffs, nice guitar-playing, the tempo has just enough energy to it. Mark's voice sounds like Iggy Pop. The guitar solos are absolutely beautiful. This whole song just rocks, man! I just really love that middle section with the guitar solo. OOOWWWUUUAIIAIIAIIIAIIIII!!!! Apparently he's even got "things crawling out his arm"... isn't that hilarious??!! A lovely song for yer heart n' soul.
2. Melvins - "Scared" The... MELVINS!! YAY!! This wasn't actually the first recorded appearance of the Melvins like a lot of people believe because they had some songs on two K Records compilation tapes a year prior. This song is a little slower but definitely not "Melvins slow". The riff is hacks away at the melodic void like a crazy fuzzed-out chainsaw and the intro riff is awesome, with some corny chime sounds and some "whoo whoop whoop"s thrown in for good measure. I absolutely love it. It reminds me a little bit of the riff for "I Saw Your Mommy" by Suicidal Tendencies but better! After this part, Matt Lukin starts playing a very speedy bass riff but the song anti-climaxes back into a mid-tempo funk with a more down-beat guitar riff, and King Buzzo supplies some of the most cartoonishly awesome vocals you'll hear, with his voice pitch going all over the charts, from Bugs Bunny to Cookie Monster. Hah! I really love that. I also like the one part where the whole band shouts "DO IT!"... really fun song. At the end of the song, the band plays a similar section to the intro but in a few steps down and then they all shout "SCARED!!". And that's all there is. There isn't. Any more.
3. Melvins - "Blessing the Operation" This one's really fast! One of the fastest hardcore songs you'll hear, and it's by the Melvins! The whole song is loaded with energy, from the drumming, the vocals, the bass, the guitar... all complete sonic fury! The lyrics seem to allude to the fundamentalist religious-leaning policies of Ronald Reagan in the 1980s. But it's just an amazing song! There's a demo version of this on the Melvins album "26 Songs", also.
4. Malfunkshun - "With Yo' Heart (Not Yo' Hands)" This is a slow song and when I listen to it again it kind of reminds me of Black Sabbath with a more glam rock edge. UH-ONE-TIME!!! Andrew Wood (frontman/vocalist of the band) has a voice that goes from a rough Seattle twang to a wispy falsetto. Pretty good drumming, allso. There's sort of a trippy thing of lead guitar floating around the very top of your head like little ghosts. Real angry-sounding fucked up guitar riff in the chorus.
5. Skin Yard - "Throb" Starts out with a simple bass guitar riff and some psychedelic-sounding guitar fading in and out, before heading into full intensity, with loud yet pretty-sounding electric guitar, an angry bass riff, tortured vocals, and a slow beat. This one's real good-sounding. Excellent melodies all around... prepare to be in for something else when hearing Throb!
6. Soundgarden - "Heretic" Out of all of these bands, Soundgarden definitely became the most famous. They got signed to a major label first in the late '80s, they had two really famous albums, and they were pretty talented as well -- they got so famous that Chris Cornell actually thought it was a good idea about 12 years after they broke up to record an album with a lame "rap" artist that most Soundgarden fans wouldn't care for at all! But besides all that... this early incarnation of Soundgarden feels more punk than the metal sound they'd be later famous for. Chris doesn't belt out his mouthsounds as much as he just screams like a dying cat. Like Rosie. This one cat I know. She's a little brown fat kitty and she's so cute but I can't pet her because I'm allergic to her. Doesn't that SUCK?? Anyways, Chris screams things about religious persecution and with references to religion and the occult. This song was re-recorded for the soundtrack to a movie called "Pump Up the Volume", but this original version is much better! Just listen to how that guitar sounds.
7. Soundgarden - "Tears to Forget" This song is a lot faster than the song before it and once again features that amazing guitar tone that sounds like a mix between fire and ice if they knew how to play instruments. The chorus section after the intro has an ominous/exciting riff like something important is about to happen. The verse section's riff and lyrics elaborate on this tension, with a slightly different drumbeat. Once again, this song eventually was re-recorded, and it was featured on the band's first album, "Screaming Life". End of Side A.
8. Malfunkshun - "Stars-N-You" The other Malfunkshun song. Much faster than their other song. It has sort of a euphoric riff and vocal melody, with crazy love-song lyrics and the like. It kind of crashes and takes off... the tempo is real unique-sounding. Return of the infamous "one time" lyric. Again. Heh. Also take a listen to those crazy solos!
9. Melvins - "Grinding Process" One of the most notable Melvins songs and probably their first song where they tried to get real slow and heavy. It has an extremely grimy, tough energy to it... just slow enough to rub that knoize knuckle around in your face after punching it. The vocals are awesome, Buzz sounds snotty as ever! Just listen to how everybody yells "TASTE" all at once that first time! Then there's a guitar solo and an outro section with an ascending guitar riff with an extremely thick, dark sound to it. Different versions of this song have also been featured in their debut 7", the "10 Songs" album, the "Northwest Hardcore" compilation tape, and 26 Songs, which has every version of the song recorded except for this one.
10. Melvins - "She Waits" I LOVE this one. Isn't it funny how the Melvins went from being an ultra-fast band to an ultra-slow band? Anyways, the song kicks off with a fast section with a really cool guitar riff, climaxing in a mega-intense thrash section with Dale Crover on vocals that's only four seconds long but actually the best part of the song. Then there's a slower part of the song. It all ends in some really loud feedback with the bandmates eventually complaining before it gets turned off.
11. Skin Yard - "The Birds" Now we slow things back down... Ben McMillan, the singer of the band sings in a real depressing-sounding and subtle voice. If you liked how things sounded in their other song on this LP, then you'll probably like this one also. And there's some saxophone-playing on this song. The lyrics are very dark and describe feeling plagued by apathy and complacency, and he also complains about there being a lot of birds. Birds must really piss this guy off. That just SUCKS. Birds. They have wings. And feathers. And beaks. They like to eat worms. Isn't that funney?
12. Soundgarden - "All Your Lies" This is the best version of this song. It was later on their album "Ultramega O.K." and it sounds more clean and metal-ish, and that version rocks also, but this version has that really hot guitar sound that makes the song WAY more exciting-sounding. It's kinda chaotic, but the chaos seems to have a direction. If it didn't, the song would go on forever, right? Perhaps. Anyways, this song is really awesome! The verse part is fast and the chorus part is kind of slow. Kim Thayil can play the guitar REALLY good.
13. Green River - "Your Own Best Friend" Starts out slow with a mostly lead-guitar melody before taking off for a faster tempo. This song's about a person who feels alienated by the rest of society and feels like his friends and family don't even care about him and feels pressured to do the right thing and dress the right way all of the time. Kind of depressing. Towards the end of the song I suspect that Mark Arm was smoking quite a few joints 'cuz he sounds so stoned he can barely even sing without laughing. The rest of the band sings in chorus vocals along with Mark's lyrics in one part and I thought that sounded pretty cool. The rest of the music starts to fade out and soon you just hear Mark laughing along with a drum beat as weird Butthole Surfer-like vocal effects haunt the soundscape.
14. U-Men - "They" HEY KIDZ! THIS IS THE LAST SONG! IT'S THE U-MEN: ROCKABILLY ON CRACK COCAINE! The U-Men were the oldest of the bands on this album and had already released a couple of records, so they were more well-known than the other bands here. Yeah, this song is a lot more silly and upbeat than most of the other tunes on here. The singer, John Bigley, has a crazy hillbilly-sounding voice that screams and moans at different times. The first part of the song is real crazy and upbeat, and then there's a calmer, more depressing part of the song where the singer kind of mopes about various mishaps... "Junior flipped the flappin' out on Route 21"... what poetic mastery! I love it! Then a bunch of animals disappear in a "puff of smoke on the road". Great type of song to drink beer and poorly fire bullets outta yer shotgun at trespassers to.
One great thing about this record is that there's so much variety! Every band has their own distinct sound -- even songs from the same band have their own unique sound. This would be the perfect compilation of early Seattle rock stuff if the Accused were also on here or something. But I guess the Accused weren't weird-sounding enough so they aren't anywhere to be found on this album. You'll hear a little bit of punk, metal, psychedelica, all mixed up in one big gigantic stew of (at the time) un-noticed talent. And really, only two of these bands on the compilation made it very far out of obscurity... the Melvins and Soundgarden, and the Melvins soon realized that being on a major label really is bogus! So, if you like any of these bands (I'm sure you like at least one), do check this out... all top-notch material that could have very easily never been put down on the wax slab. It would have been funny if the Mentors were on here also, but then A&M wouldn't want to touch this album the way they did in 1994 almost ten years later. This album just rocks!
Top 3 Favorites: 1. Grinding Process (Melvins) 2. Blessing the Operation (Melvins) 3. 10,000 Things (Green River)
Genre: Acoustic Rock Label: K Records Tracks: 5 Length: 9 Minutes Style: Emotional/Relationship My Rating: 6/8
Ah, 2011... another new year. A year of change, very possibly. Still trying to start my band... will turn 18 soon. Already some bad shit has happened to the rest of the world -- I witnessed a house on fire firsthand at 4:30 AM on New Year's Day, a huge-ass flood happened in Australia, a huge earthquake in Chile... it's beginning to seem that the only way to fix all of the problems of the world would be attempted annihilation of humanity including the government, but of course, nobody likes the idea of that so that probably won't happen. Let's face it, we can only either destroy ourselves the fast fun way or wait to be destroyed the slow boring way at this point. Eventually a choice will have to be made. You might say there's another way, but is it really attainable... at all? Most people can't even make it past one riot cop, how do you think you're gonna take on the entire U.S. military AND survive? Maybe it's possible, but my guess is that it's extremely difficult to do and the average person just doesn't give half a fuck. Meanwhile, the environment continues to get more and more screwed up, not just from CFCs but practically everything we do -- cars emit gases which are horrible for the atmosphere, a bizarrely HUGE amount of oil was released into the ocean a few months ago (also bad for the atmosphere), a one degree change in ocean temperature has been proven to really fuck up the weather, every product you buy -- hell, every time you use electricity, which is a product of coal-burning, is adding more toxic shit to the atmosphere, every time you throw something in the trash, landfills get bigger and eventually there isn't any more land to fill so they have to dump it in a clean area... even if you're one of those types who feels that human beings should just go back to their animal roots, remember that if the public sewer systems and toilets hadn't been invented that we'd all be walking in a big fucking crust of feces because the population has multiplied by millions since the middle ages. The population just reached 7 billion and people continue to breed like rabbits... keepin' up with the Joneses, gotta have at least two children and then bitch when you don't have enough money to feed a family and they're off rebelling against your ways because they see through your self-imposed false sense of happiness and security until you do all you can if the mainstream media isn't to make them begin to go along with your quest for a "perfect life" sold to you by decades of watching television. The Pope and his gang of physical and psychological pedophiles are still at it prolonging the existence of S.T.D.s in fourth world countries in Africa, and on the other side of the issue of that are people constantly throwing their money at the unsolvable problem of how shitty it is to live in Africa -- I don't think it'll EVER get better there, certainly not in your lifetime! Until scientists find a way to invent perfectly safe food out of dirt, then maybe we'll be getting somewhere, but even then we'll be worrying about overpopulation and then the wars perpetrated by lies in order to offset the effects of this while pretending it's about something else. The United States government continues to take freedom away from its people, first with the Patriot Act, now scanning your body in airports to make sure you don't belong to the 0.000000001% of the world's population that's a member of Al Queda! They even want to start fucking pass laws to censor radio programs they don't agree with -- are far right Christian dogshit pus-bags like Rush Limbaugh a cancer on society? YES. Is it the government's job to fix it? NO. They want to ban junk food. Is America getting too full of lard? YES. Is it the government's job to fix everything? NO. Same with guns, same with drugs (I support legalization of ALL drugs), same with prostitution! If you don't like what I just said about those things, then too bad. And then you have the Tea Party -- yeah, they actually do agree with some of those things, they don't like the government taking rights either... only problem is, they only care when the government takes THEIR rights! The majority of these hypocrites have NO problem and actually encourage the government to ban gay marriage, abortion, they are pro-war! They are just as big-government as any lame-assed liberal and if you're not one of these people then I respect your opinion. Know where the typical fake "anti-government" conservative DOES want the government? IN YOUR BEDROOM. IN YOUR MATERNITY ROOM. IN YOUR SCHOOL (they cry "government takeover" as soon as somebody brings up evolution or gay sex but what they really want is a religious takeover of schools!). They whine about paying taxes to help people on welfare or to fund the schools but gladly give up every penny for Uncle S(c)am when the war funds bucket comes 'round. And therefore any time somebody brings up the concept of "Small Government" the mainstream liberals get all sneery and associate you with this group of loud-mouthed religious rednecks who think Obama's a Muslim terrorist from Kenya. A pro-gay Muslim. From homophobic Africa. Who married a woman who wears clothing that shows her legs and her face. You think it's "progress" and "wonderful" that gays are allowed into the military now? You think the government just started loving homos so much that they took pride in the idea of gays arming the battlefields? In my opinion, this is just another way to get a larger, more reckless military. 10% more of the population are now eligible to go fucking kill people in foreign countries and live in horrible conditions and follow every command of an airheaded war leader for a living! What fun! Thanks Obama, thanks for taking away yet another excuse to NOT go be a solider and find out how shitty it really is to be a murdering slave. I mean, if you do or even say ANYTHING gay you get a free fucking ticket to never fight in a war! You are IMMUNE to the draft if it ever comes! Not anymore... gotta have their hands on anybody physically able to take on the job of being a puppet on a string... with an AK-47. I don't care if the purpose of war is "honorable". WAR SUCKS. If the president/dictator/king hates his enemies so much why doesn't he be a real fucking man and fight them himself? Obama never fought in a war. Bush never fought in a war. Clinton never fought in a war. Reagan never fought in a war. The joke is on you. Anarchy? HAHAHAHA, see how long that'd last! Maybe under a majority of people with relatively pacifistic middle-class/working-class sensibilities it'd work, but it only takes one real fuckhead to mess it all up. That's the reason why mass-murderers don't kill as many people as they do, right? They HAVE to hide it! From the POLICE! The police protect you from being more vulnerable to a murderer. The same police that want you raped in prison as they mockingly watch for such equally horrendous crimes as... DOING DRUGS! AUUUAAUUUGHH!!!!! And if you are an anarchist who has a rebuttal to my previous claims then I might change my mind. If you're a communist, you essentially are saying that you support a system in which there is ONE peasant class and ONE ruling class with 100% of the power, the same thing that you accuse capitalism of being, only way worse. I guess what I'm getting around to saying here is that all of us are completely fucked no matter what we try to do to stop it, we're just holding off the arrival of something that is entirely inevitable, so just enjoy life while you have it, don't let people fuck you around unless it's not worth it to do otherwise, and do as many things that you wanna do as you can! I hope this year I get laid. I hope I get to do drugs. I hope I get to play rock and roll with friends to people. I'd like to actually have a job, also.
Anyways (geez, that was a mouthful!), I'm REALLY here today to give U the revU of the Beat Happening albUm known as THREE TEA BREAKFAST. That's when all you have for breakfast is, well, three cups of tea. Right? I believe this was the first record ever from Beat Happening, and it was released on a cassette tape in 1984. The Beat Happening style of music is a friendly, simplistic sound with a male and a female singer (who kind of looks like a boy), "cute" lyrics, but yet it has a slight grit to it. This combination is likely what made them big with the underground scene in the northwestern U.S.A., so let's hear it for ourselves since I've really only heard one Beat Happening album besides this. WEOWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOOOOOO...
1. In My Memory Starts out with some really blurry audio of Calvin Johnson singing. After that it cuts to a really beautiful acoustic melody with Bret Lunsford clackin' his drumsticks together to keep a tempo and Heather Lewis singing in her soft, warm voice. It's about an old relationship that has ceased or is fading away or something like that. It's a real emotional, sweet song that kinda makes you wanna cry a little bit. Really good.
2. Honey Pot Just clacking drumstick sounds and Calvin singing in his kinda nasal voice about a girl who's kind of a whore but yet the narrator of the song is the guy who really loves her and asks for her to "take him by the hand and lead him to that land...". The execution is really awkward but I like the lyrics a lot. Honey pot.
3. The Fall Acoustic guitar riff and a beat that sounds like it was done using a cardboard box. More lyrics about trying to get a girl, but hence, Calvin gets rejected. Poor guy. End of Side A.
4. Youth "When I was young, I thought I was old...". The guitar riff is pretty nice to listen to. It's about how exciting life is when you're young and how you can "afford to be bold" and stuff. And once again, more about trying to get a girl. Oh Calvin, Calvin, when will he ever learn... about vaginnas.
5. Don't Mix the Colors The longest song on the album. Nice beat, and the riff is a little more confident sounding. It's about Calvin telling a girl "not to mix the colors" because he likes her painting the way it already is. SUUURE... we all know what he's REALLY trying to say... AHAHAHAHA!! But no really, that's all there is. And then there's a minute-long soundclip of some random goings-on and a Japanese guy.
So, that's all there iz so far. Did I mention that the band was formed in 1982 in Olympia, Washington and also this EP was the first non-compilation record on K Records, a record label owned by Calvin himself? I'm pretty sure it is, but there's no numbering on the early K Records releases so it's hard to be totally sure. The first and fourth songs are my two favorites on this tape. Its contents as well as other early Beat Happening stuff can be found on the reissue of their first LP from '85, so be sure to check that out and I'll review it later. And don't get yerself too down on what I said earlier... make the best of it! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Normally I'd tell you to cut down the lemon tree or something, but in this case, the lemons are actually hydrogen bombs, so... not quite an option here. Anyways, despite all of that shit, do really try to have a happy 2011! Remember, you're young and stupid! Go take a chance and do something really fun this year. Bye.
Year: 2008 Genre: Thrash Metal/Hardcore Punk Label: Hot Mass Records Tracks: 4 Length: 14 Minutes Style:Angry My Rating: 5/8
Ah, Seattle... home of, well, ROCK AND ROLL music. Black Breath is a crossover thrash/hardcore band from the area and this is their first release ever, called "Razor to Oblivion", and it's 12 inches wide and it's gawt four songs and the razor cuts the space-time fabric apart, which creates a tear leading to Oblivion. Makes sense, now don't it? Well, okay. There's two songs on four sides of the album. Wait, no, I meant two sides on each song of the -- SHIT, I mean two songs on two sides of the album! God DAMN IT. Anyways, that would be four songs. Which are on this album. The band consists of... well, I dunno. Maybe I should go ask 'em. But I'm lazy and I wanna get to the point, now. So hear I go.
1. Razor to Oblivion Fast beat and the song has a real bad-ass riff. The vocals are kinda scream-y, but they're still alright. This song is more of a straight-up hardcore song, but there's some good lead guitar scattered here n' there as well. Cool slow part in the middle. Then after that, there's a guitar solo. Good song.
2. Beneath the Crust The beat at the beginning of the song rules! The guitar riff here is a bit heavier-sounding. I like the alternating between two different beats during the verse section of the song, it's an awesome touch. After that, the song transitions into a part that's really fast like the first song. After this part, the song slows down briefly and there's a false stop with clock sounds and the last section is slow, and GOD DAMMIT, can this guy sing in any other voice? End of Side 1.
3. Fatal Error The intro to this song feels like a giant wood-chipper shredding up your skull. Once again, fast. Cool riff. Angry singing. The part around 1 minute and 30 seconds sounds cool. Then after that there's a slow part which is basically the same riff being played in a different tempo. Did he just say "poor little nigger"?
4. Murder This one's rather slow. Midway through the song gets a little faster. And then there's some pretty cool riff-age in another section of the track. Good drumming, definitely. The track that I have cuts off at about two minutes and thirty seconds, so I don't know what happens next. So that's all I know. Right now.
Well, it's a pretty decent listen, especially for fans of metal-influenced hardcore. My only complaint is that the singer only sings in ONE FUCKING VOICE. Yeah, the scream. Seriously, this would be way more entertaining if he had more character to his singing style. But nope, expect to hear the exact same screamed vocal style throughout the entire EP. Sorry... otherwise this music is pretty damn good. And it has a pretty awesome cover, might I add. This year, the band released their first full album, which is more heavy metal than punk, and I haven't listened to it, but it's released on Southern Lord records, a notable metal label, n' all that shit. So, check it out or don't. It's all up to youuuu (dununununun...).
Genre: Punk Rock Sub-Genres: Hardcore Label: Rejectors Records/Fatal Erection Records/Public Safety Records Tracks: 27 Length: 38 Minutes Style: Political/Angry My Rating: 5/8
In 1983, two bands from the infancy of the Seattle punk scene, which was during then home to bands like these two and the Fartz, released a split LP with two titles, so it's pretty much two albums for the price of one. The Rejectors had released a 7" EP a year prior, and as far as I know this is the first record released by the Accüsed. But it's pretty good. The years of the Seattle scene before "grunge"... Buzz Osborne said before bands like this there were just a lot of shitty cover bands... and before THAT, there were artists like Heart and Jimi Hendrix, but that's a whole 'nother topic, so I'm here to review this two-band effort. Let us cunt-inue...
1. Rejectors - "Struggle" A fast song about using your mind to overcome the restrictions on freedom from the government and mainstream society.
2. Rejectors - "Anti-Patriot" This song condemns blind patriotism to capitalist and communist governments, and the singer maintains that we must "protest to prevent our extinction" by war.
3. Rejectors - "Gang Bang" This song tells us to "fuck" the Nazis, the KKK, the Army, and of course, Ronald Reagan. I guess he really does want us to fuck these people. Hence the title, "gang bang". Well, time to go defile Ronald Reagan's dead corpse in some homo-necro-sexual FUN FESTIVITY!
4. Rejectors - "Through My Mind's Eye" Whaddaya know, another fast song. The song talks about how through our seeing-eyes we only get to see what the system wants us to know and think, but through your "mind's eye" you can use the power of knowledge to see the truth.
5. Rejectors - "No Justice" An anti-authority song that exposes the government as pulling a false sheet of "justice" over the American people when in reality they can do whatever the hell they want and get away with it.
6. Rejectors - "My World" The riff reminds me of the Ramones on speed. The song's about an imagined world with no laws, no borders, no war, just freedom and peace.
7. Rejectors - "Conservative Minority" This one has a lot of meaning today still, with the huge amount of conservative moral-majority types having sort of a resurgence in the U.S.A. today during the bleak Obama era. And for once it's actually a different speed! Basically a "fuck you" to anti-abortion anti-feminsm anti-rights bigots. If there is a Hell, I'm sure Falwell is roasting there, that dickhole...
8. Rejectors - "Masque of A" The sheet inside the album has the "A" written as an anarchy symbol, but I couldn't find it with Character Map so it's just a regular 'A'. The riff here is pretty cool to listen to. Apparently the song is based on a poem by P. B. Shelley as well. It talks about an anarchist revolution against the government.
9. Rejectors - "Work Machine" This song exposes the capitalist system which fucks over the working class and everyone except for "those who instigate" and incites a new age of rebellion "now that the Phoenix has come". Pretty cool.
10. Rejectors - "Proud Few" Starts out with a cool intro that gets progressively faster. This song iz an anti-war song about killing in wars and asking people why they go to war to kill innocent people. Probably so they can get some goddamn money and pay for an education -- that's why most kids I know are joining the army. And it sucks this is the only way for some people. I'd rather be a bum than join the army.
11. Rejectors - "False Prosperity" I like this one. The melody is great and it's slow and the vocals sound good here. The song sings about a longing for peaceful anarchy and an overthrow of the system which is pretty one-sided.
12. Rejectors - "Change" "Change"... that word that Obama molested into having absolutely no meaning... except for those quarters and pennies you get back when you pay a few cents more than how much the item you purchased costs. Nice riff. Starts out slow, then it gets fast.
13. Rejectors - "The End" An apocalyptic doomsday sort of anthem predicting a nuclear blast ending all mankind under the reign of Ronnie Reagan. I like the riff. One of the few songs on the Rejectors side of the album that makes it past two minutes. And that's the end of THIS side of the album. Nowwwww, it iz TIME... for THAT side.
14. The Accüsed - "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" Personally I prefer this half of the record... the Accüsed's tracks have a little more variety and attitude to them. Sorry, Rejectors. This song is really fast n' short. Cool little bass-line in the beginning of the song.
15. The Accüsed - "Child These Days" This songproclaims that "time is short for a child these days", portendig that the children of the Reagan era would have little to no future after the expected effects of the Cold War were to take place. Nice singing.
16. The Accüsed - "Bring the Riots to the U.S.A." The song alludes to a 14-day riot held in the U.K. by punks and skinheads that made the Queen pretty upset, and asks that the punks in the U.S.A. could do the same for the sake of freedom.
17. The Accüsed - "No Reason" Fast with a slow mid-section. This song condemns the religious wars fueled by people overzealous religious bigots who want to be the only religion that exists on the planet.
18. The Accüsed - "Political Nightmare" "Political Nightmare" repeated over and over again.
19. The Accüsed - "Gain Green" This one's real fast and it's got a cool riff. This song's about boring people who chase wealth and money 'cause they have nothing better to do. Than watch T.V. and have a couple of brews... oh, wait.
20. The Accüsed - "I'm a Mistake" This song describes feeling like a "failed abortion" that society wants to kill/wipe out for not fitting in with the status quo.
21. The Accüsed - "Wake the Fuck Up!" This song is sung from the viewpoint of the government who tells people who want peace to "stop whining", as they do away with Vietnam and small bombs and the easy life and launch a nuclear WAR.
22. The Accüsed - "What About Later?" This song's about a kid with a "rich ol' Mom" who pays his way for having a car and a "nice looking girlfriend" and to buy some hash, and nw feels helpless without a job on hs own since his Mom iz dead. Fast sandwich with a slow middle part.
23. The Accüsed - "Live Our Own Lives" Easly the best song on the album. All the chord progressions are fucking awesome, and it's slow arts interspliced with really fast arts. This song's about how the government shouldn't hold drafts send kids off to war so that they can get a chance to live their own lives in peace.
24. The Accüsed - "Life's a Waste" LIFE'S A WASTE WHEN EVERYONE CONSTANTLY TELLS YOU YOU'RE WRONG. THAT IZ WHAT THIS SONG'S ABOUT.
25. The Accüsed - "Like You" Third song in a row to start with the letters "L" and "i". HA HA HA. HAAAAA. Neat heavy metal-sounding intro. "I pick my nose (like you), I scratch my butt (like you), I eat some food (like you), I'll pop a lude (like you); I'm no different, I'm the same -- the only difference is you're so lame!"
26. The Accüsed - "Reagan's War Puppets" Another really great song! I first heard it when the Melvins covered it on an old live bootleg of them playing in 1986, but this version is slower and longer than the Melvins' version (usually they do that the other way around). It pokes a little fun at the army, calling them just "war puppets" for Ronald Reagan, predicting a war in El Salvador. Awesome vocals here. Such a catchy riff...
27. The Accüsed - "The Right" Th song shws the mpete and total rony f the "rght to reman silent" and it's real fast and sht lke you prbably exected. Bt my keybrd sck.
Yeah, T'S taken longer than normal to write ths revew cause my keybard has taken the anarchst ilphis f the tw bands to heart and s revolting against the opressve reign f my fingers and 've been trying t cver t p but 'M GIN p becase tying lke this scks, bt eh, this ewas a pretty god record bt it cold be better. The Rejecs side okay but I like the Accsed side pretty good. The Rejectors were pretty much done after this, but the Accüsed went on and became more of a thrash-metal band, so they have a lot of albums after this to listen to. But that's all I have to say, looks like my keyboard is working alright again. Stay legit and stuff. Bye bye.
Top 3 Favorites: 1. Live Our Lives (The Accüsed) 2. Reagan's War Puppets (The Accüsed) 3. Gain Green (The Accüsed)
Genre: Punk Rock Sub-Genres: Sludge, Hardcore Label: Do the Right Thing Records Tracks: 3 Length: 9 Minutes Style: Angry My Rating: 6/8
Well, it's been over a week since my last review, but that's what a long summer does to ya, makes you all lazy and stuff so it's hard to push yourself to get anything done. Well, school has started again, so it's pretty much back to a schedule and taking classes and reading books and filling out worksheets and all of that FABULOUS stuff.
But anyways, this 7" record is more often called Outtakes From the First 7" (referring to the band's first EP), but there is no official title and "Set Me Straight" has more of a ring to it and is less awkward to say, so I just go with that one. Yeah, these are three songs from the sessions that produced the band's first record that didn't make the cut. And they're pretty good songs. The first one is one of the band's oldest songs, "Set Me Straight", and the two other ones are even more obscure tracks that were some of their slowest tunes at the time. It's also a bootleg, so if you own a copy of this record, the Melvins have the right to break into your home at any given time and raid it of all of your snacks and records and anything else they might want (and if they DON'T want it, then they'll just destroy it!). But yeah, these three songs are pretty heavy n' cool n' stuff, so now I'm going to talk about them.
1. Set Me Straight One of the oldest Melvins songs. However, like "Snake Appeal", the Melvins decided that the song was still for keeps several years later, but this time they slowed the song down instead of speeding it up. It's an awesome song with a Stooges/Flipper-hybrid feel, but a more vicious riff and Buzz's rougher vocals. The verse riff is one of the coolest riffs ever. This version of the song just has a massive, pounding feel, like every time Dale hits a snare that you're getting smashed into the ground once more. The Melvins did yet ANOTHER version of this song on the album "Houdini". Now for the b-sides.
2. Show Off Your Red Hands Starts off with a speedy intro with Black Sabbath-style tonage, until quickly dissolving into a sludgy romp through Melvinsland. This version of the song can also be found on Side B of the "Your Blessened" single as "Pronoun Piece Me". But yeah, the title of this song kinda cracks me up... it's like, Buzz finds this guy who secretly has RED HANDS and with majesty like no either he shouts, "SHOW OFF YOUR RED HANDS, YOU THIEVING BASTARD!". Yeah. That would be funny. Buzz's vocals were so fucking awesome during this period. The song gets even slower towards the end of the song. Very heavy.
3. #2 Pencil This song also has a fast intro section, though here it lasts a little longer and the beat changes up several times before descending fully into monster-mode. Makes "My War" by Black Flag look pussyish (which I think is a GREAT ALBUM before you start talking shit, by the way). Basically the musical elements of that album consolidated into one song. After all, it was them who inspired Buzzo & the gang to be so different in the first place. The lyrics of the song describe a pencil which has been stuck into Buzz's skin and stuff like that. Slow and awesome. After this song the record ends.
All three songs are equally good, so it's up to you what the best one is. The first song is a lot more "normal" sounding, and the second and third songs are both pretty similar in composure. Alternate versions of both songs on Side B can be found on the "Eight Songs", "Ten Songs", and "26 Songs" albums from C/Z Records and Ipecac Records, so it's not so hard to find these songs anymore. But yesh, definitely recommended for anybody into the earlier workings of the Melvins. So that's all I have to say for right now. I'll be back with a longer review of something else sometime soon.
Genre: Punk Rock Sub-Genres: Hardcore Label: Fartz Records Tracks: 9 Length: 7 Minutes Style: Political My Rating: 6/8 The Rejectors were an early '80s hardcore band from Seattle, Washington (future home of 'grunge' music!). As far as I know, they probably only lasted a few years before disbanding (the last thing they ever did was released on some 1984 compilation which also featured the Melvins, Beat Happening, and many other bands). This is the band's first release, and it's a nine-song 7" EP, released in 1982 by "Fartz Records" (probably having something to do with the Seattle band called the Fartz).
1. High Command A very fast, crashing song about United States citizens being commanded by the government (under Ronald Reagan) to go to war. Packed with energy.
2. Rejection Really great riff. The guitar sounds great, and so does the drumming. Can't find the lyrics to the song, so I dunno what it's about. The instrumental repeat of the verse riff near the end sounds great to me, for some reason.
3. Mercy Killers Once again, very fast tempo. The guitars seem tuned in a way that provides unique, up-beat sounding chords.
4. Fight Establishment My guess is that this song's about, well, "fighting establishment". However, I could be completely fucking wrong. Great verse riff. Group shouts in the chorus. End of Side 1.
5. Thoughts of War Begins with a slow intro. The main sections of the song are very fast. The chorus pounds and crashes, while the verse flies and thrashes.
6. Life With Liberty Shortest song on the EP. Very fast.
7. Slaves The real stand-out for this track is the drumming. It's somewhat sloppy, but amusing at the same time. Guess what? This song is fucking FAST! WHOOPEDY-DOOP!!! HEE HEE HAWWW.
8. How Do You Know Geez, here's a "long song" -- IT'S A WHOLE FUCKING MINUTE LONG. WOWWWWWWWEEEY. The riff is as frantic as the pace of the music. Hell, there's even a little guitar solo in here.
9. Go Die ME? GO DIE? OH NOE! Great riff in all parts. More group shouts. FHGDFHGHDFHGFDHGDFGHDFHGHHSFHDHFDSHFHSDHFSDHFHSDHFDHGDFHGHG "GO DIE!". HOHOHOHO
A year after this EP came out, in 1983, the band recorded a split-LP with the Seattle punk-metal band, the Accüsed. The band likely broke up circa 1984 or 1985. The band claims that they were a minor influence on the grunge and post-punk music that would come out of Seattle shortly after they disbanded. But yes, if you're looking for a short, enjoyable hardcore EP to listen to, this would be a good one to listen to.
Top 3 Favorites: 1. Rejection 2. Fight Establishment 3. Go Die
Genre: Punk Rock, Heavy Metal Sub-Genres: Grunge, Hardcore, Sludge Label: C/Z Records Tracks: 6 Length: 12 Minutes (Short) Style: Angry My Rating: 6/8
There was a time when almost EVERYONE hated the Melvins. During the late '80s, the Melvins just too weird for most punkers to stomach. Not quite heavy metal, but not quite hardcore. Challenging, bizarre song structures and ridiculously heavy chords mark this period in the Melvins' history. Prior to this time, just not enough people knew about the Melvins. And by "this" time, I mean when Gluey Porch Treatments came out almost a year after this EP. The Melvins had just completed their first U.S. tour in 1985, and by now their fanbase consisted of slightly more than, say, five people. Having already practically invented grunge, the Melvins' hunger for new musical oddities continued. The sound on this record is somewhere inbetween the music on Deep Six and Gluey Porch Treatments (both records contained alternate recordings of many of the songs on here). I'm not sure if you could call the music here sludge metal, but it gets pretty damn close at some points. With C/Z Records just formed, this was the second release ever on C/Z Records after Deep Six. So, here's to the Melvins... let's listen!
1. Easy As It Was Slow, heavy, and monstrous. Lots of little twists and turns even in the main riff. Dale supplies little drumrolls with a lot of character inbetween the verse and chorus. Excellent drumming. Good song. It would later be featured on Gluey Porch Treatments as "As It Was".
2. Now a Limo This song's a little faster (which is still slow by non-Melvins standards). The intro begins with a guitar solo. The song's actually pretty short (less than a minute long), but it stands well by itself anyways. Buzz kinda sings along with the ending riff of the song, which I thought was a cool touch.
3. Grinding Process This song was originally featured in "Deep Six", but this version is slower. Personally I liked the first version the best -- the tempo worked real well on that one. Still, in other senses, there's not a huge difference. Gotta love how Buzz's voice can go from high-pitched to deep in just an instance like that. Needly little guitar solo here. Another way that this version is different from the Deep Six version is the fact that in the ending section, Buzz sings by himself instead of being accompanied by backing vocals. End of Side 1.
4. At a Crawl Slowest and longest song on the 7"! Perhaps the beginning of sludge metal? This song is heavy as fuck, and while not as slow as what the Melvins would eventually be putting out, it's very slow considering that this was during the era of hardcore punk and speed metal! There is, however, a demo version which predates this song that's significantly faster. The vocals are extremely passionate and awesome. The song would later be on their second LP, Ozma.
5. Disinvite This is one of the more mid-tempo songs, here. The chorus revs things up even a little more, with Buzz growling "DISINVITE... DISINVITE..." -- awesome vocals, as usual. This one became "Steve Instant Neuman" when they re-recorded it for Gluey Porch Treatments.
6. Snake Appeal The fastest song. It's a regular hardcore punk song, and actually one of their oldest songs, too (it can be found on "Mangled Demos from 1983"). This version is even faster, though! Guitar solo, also. Aggressive and energetic. Bye bye.
The Melvins, unsatisfied with the quality of these recordings, actually went out of their way to re-record this entire EP. Those recordings are of much higher quality and can be found on the "Ten Songs" album that got released in 1991 (which also includes four bonus songs). A lot of these songs were also later featured on their other albums after this. This iz a good EP, but it still ain't the Melvins at their full potential. Still, if you wanna hear the Melvins during their transitional phase, definitely check this out. And it's still totally good. It's Melvin-tastic, ya might say. Well, I must be going, now. Stay legit.
Top 3 Favorites: 1. Snake Appeal 2. At a Crawl 3. Grinding Process
Genre: Punk Rock Sub-Genres: Grunge, Hardcore Label: Homestead Records Tracks: 6 Length: 28 Minutes (Medium-Length) Style: Dark/Demented/Mysterious My Rating: 6/8
Green River was formed out of the remnants of the Limp Richerds, a hardcore band from the early 1980s that stopped performing in 1984 (but never officially broke up until 1987). Mark Arm and Steve Turner were in that band, and those two decided to start a new band called Green River (named after a notorious serial killer). They also recruited Jeff Ament, who was previously in a band called Deranged Diction. Green River is often considered to be one of the first 'grunge' bands ever. The band came from Seattle, Washington, and experimented musically by taking the hardcore punk sound they were used to playing and slowing it down to a heavy metal pace, similar to what another band, the Melvins, were starting to do around this time. By late 1984, they were in the process of recording their debut album, "Come On Down". This album is often considered to be the first grunge album ever.
1. Come On Down Begins with a mysterious whisp of noize. The song is pretty slow. Mark Arm plays the role of Green River, inviting you down to him in a sinister way; "C'MON DOWN TO GREEN RIVER...". The guitar is cool, but I don't think it's quite loud enough. But it's okay. During the chorus, alternating parts of the vocals are sung into the left and right side of your speakers. I thought that was a pretty nice touch. There's a guitar solo.
2. New God A slow, heavy song. Once again, it plays upon the victimizer theme. This song is told from the viewpoint of a cult leader or the devil or something like that. The song's narrator assures the listener, "I don't want your money, or anything you own -- I'm not asking for much, I only want your soul". The character also asks for the souls of your children, lest the character gets "ugly and mean". The riff is very ominous and cool-sounding.
3. Swallow My Pride This song sounds more like a traditional punk song, but with a little bit of guitar twang off to the side. The song's about something we've probably all dealt with at some point. It tells the story from the viewpoint of a guy who's dating a girl, who confronts him about politics, telling him, "There's one thing you've gotta see: even though we're heading for war, this nation's prouder than ever before/it's just the spirit in the air; we're more American than anywhere". The song's protagonist feels an undying rage for the girl he loved, thinking "this little girl is going to hell" -- surely if someone said those sort of things to me, I'd be pretty disturbed, too. The riff is a lot more upbeat, in my opinion. There's two other versions of this song that can be heard. One is from their 1988 album, "Rehab Doll", and the other is an early demo featuring Kim Gordon singing the lines that are supposed to be the words of the female character. That version is my favorite one.
4. Ride of Your Life The song kicks off faster than anything else of the album -- real fast! Then it slows down a half-minute into the song, which is the pace it stays at for the rest of the song. For the most part, it's slow and dark. The song describes the process of a person overdosing on heroin ("you bought your last ride with a shot in your arm"). Slowly, the energy shifts, getting more and more calm and beautiful until fading out, like a pleasant death... a guitar solo is played, as the song slowly fades out. End of Side 1.
5. Corner of My Eye Another fast song (not quite as fast as the song before it, though). It's about a stalker who watches his victims and learns all about them, until he attempts to take from them, or else he won't let 'em leave. Halfway through the song, the tempo slows down. Mark's vocals are somewhat muffled by the guitar sounds, which adds to a sort of ominous tone of the song. Towards the end, the song speeds up back to the normal pace, with plenty of lead guitar this time!
6. Tunnel of Love The band attempts to start the song a few times before it finally begins. It's like a heavy hardcore punk song. Similar to Flipper, I guess. It's a very long song, too (eight minutes long). It's about a guy who falls in love with a girl, only to be allowed to do so if he "gives it all up" (it's never really implied what that meant, though). But apparently it had some pretty damn bad effects on the guy, 'cause he shows up at Mark's house all green-faced, and "he fell down shaking on to my floor". Mark reaches some really fucking high screams in this song! The song at one point becomes very slow and quiet, before a fast finale hits us one last time!
To be honest, I never even listened to Green River a whole ton before this. It's still not my favorite album in the world, but it isn't bad either by any means. And hey, helping invent a new genre of music isn't so bad. It's a sinister, creepin', crawlin' mess of sarcasm, cynicism, and a twisted sense of humor. If albums were people, this album would be the guy who snickers at you on your way down to Hell. But anyways, it's a pretty good example of the early days of grunge... somewhere between Black Flag and the later grunge bands (I'm sure you know what those are).
Top 3 Favorites: 1. Swallow My Pride 2. New God 3. Corner of My Eye
Genre: Punk Rock Sub-Genres: Hardcore, Grunge Label: Ipecac Records Tracks: 9 Length: 43 Minutes (Long) Style: Angry My Rating: 7/8
While the Melvins were and still are the kings of sludge, they had a quite swift and speedy upbringing. For many years, Melvins fans who came too late to hear this era first hand (a.k.a. most of them) found this stage in the Melvins' career to be somewhat murky and vague. The unknown. Haunted by Melvins Dragons and Melvins Monsters. The songs on the Deep Six somewhat touched on this older sound. "Forgotten Principles" was released on one of the many Amphetamine Reptile 7" singles in 1996. There were a few bootlegs around with some of these songs on them, but most of the song titles were wrong. Finally, in 2005, after years of waiting, Buzz Osborne finally dusts off some of these 22-year-old tapes and finally gets the album that could have been released for all of us!One pleasant feature of this album is the fact that it does contain a lengthy writing by the King himself on what his life growing up as one of the lone punks of Montesanto, Washington... great stories, especially if you grew up in a rural area like this. It's really interesting. Anyways, after all that took place, the band formed, originally consisting of Buzz Osborne, Matt Lukin, and Mike Dillard (the original drummer).
In this album, they play fast hardcore punk songs -- similar to Black Flag, the Germs... bands they were heavily influenced by. This album is actually somewhat historically significant in the sense that many consider Mangled Demos to contain what are the first grunge songs ever -- "Set Me Straight" and "Matt-Alec". They're basically two songs with a hardcore punk edge but a slower speed, and lots of distortion. In a sense, here, you are hearing the first grunge. And they're still kids, here! Well, it's a got a lot of songs -- some of them were recorded for an album that was never released because there were no record labels in the area until 1985 when C/Z Records formed. Some are just demos/jam sessions/live performances. So yeah, let's just dive in now, shall we?
1. Elks Lodge Christmas Broadcast This part's great... it's an local old radio broadcast of a talent/fundraiser show called "Sunshine Kids" in Montesanto Washington... starts with an old guy with an acoustic guitar playing a soft, happy, family-friendly folk/country song. The two host men comment and seem to get slightly confused as the Melvins are tuning up their instruments, joking about how they "are about to get their sinuses cleared". The band members are interviewed, in the order of Matt Lukin, Buzz Osborne, and Mike Dillard. The younger interviewer tells the audience to get ready because the Melvins are about to play some "good PUNK rock"...
2. If You Get Bored (Live) The Melvins say that they're going to play now, so we hear various snippets of some of the other songs they played. About a half-minute into the track, the Melvins begin to play "If You Get Bored". Buzz's voice is a lot more nasal than usual, but still snotty and confrontational. Lots of feedback. Just imagine the reaction the crowd must've had -- the Melvins were practically the only fans of punk in this whole area. Keep in mind that this is one of the first Melvins live performances ever! The song fades out just before the second chorus ends. The two host guys seem pretty glad to tell us that they are going to be next having some more "traditional" acts up for the Sunshine Kids Broadcast. The clip ends in one of the commentators joking about wether or not they were still alive after the Melvins performance...
3. Forgotten Principles This is the first track from the 1983 studio session. Supposedly the studio they recorded this in was run by two hippies and in really bad shape. However, they were luckily able to record these songs! Like you may expect, it's a fast, snotty, thrasher with a shouted chorus of "FORGOTTEN PRINCIPLES". Buzz's vocals are as aggressive as the sound of the guitar, with a furious beat continuously punching you in the face. The song is just over a minute long.
4. Snake Appeal One of their most famous hardcore-era songs... it was re-released on the debut EP, then on the later LP version of that record from 1991, and then a later demo version from 1984 was featured on the album "26 Songs". As for the song itself? Well, it's got a great, combative bass guitar, combined with more fucking awesome vocals and good guitar. It's just a shame it's not a little bit longer than it was. Sounds very Germs-esque, especially in the chorus part.
5. (Flower) This one is very fast! The title is given as a small picture of a flower, but because I cannot find a flower symbol right now, I am going to just write it as "(flower)". Make sense? Anyways, the song is a pretty typical hardcore punk song with Buzz singing about how his parents steal his money from him even though he lost his job because "he's just a slob". The song ends in a slow part. End of Side 1.
6. If You Get Bored We hear it once again! However, this version was recorded in the studio rather than live. The vocals are much more on-point and tough-sounding. Damn, this is a great, aggressive song if there ever was one. It just doesn't miss its mark. Few bands can sound this good consistently even in one song.
7. Set Me Straight The "first grunge song". Well, it's pretty slow, the distortion is cranked up a notch. Really, it's not extremely different from what a lot of hardcore punk and noise punk bands were doing already, playing an occasional slower song, but I guess since this song's a little heavier and the Melvins being near Seattle and everything, some find it appropriate to call it that. Buzz's vocals just fit perfectly with his guitar sound. Hear him practically growl like a wild animal after singing a line. The drumming of course, sounds good, too. Not as good as on "Matt-Alec", but we'll get to that later. This song was later re-recorded for a 1986 studio session and then again in 1993 for their major label debut, "Houdini".
8. (Star) I like this one a lot! It's very fast, it has a fun riff, more good, confrontational vocals. It's pretty short, but legit. Buzz says "boy" or "boi" a lot... I'm not sure what that meant... perhaps a parody of the shouted phrase "Oi"? I know the skinheads hated the Melvins early on in their career. Or maybe I'm just reading into this too much. Anyways, good song.
9. I'm Dry Once again, great song. It's fast, not like the track before it -- more in the way of "Snake Appeal" or "If You Get Bored". The vocals hit the edges of every fucking curve. Shame no one appreciated them back then.
10. Forgotten Principles This is pretty much a distorted version of the version of Forgotten Principles in track 3. I'm not even sure why they put this one on the record. Maybe just a typical Melvins weird moment. Basically the guitars sound all weird and Buzz's voice seems to have been slowed down. End of Side 2.
11. I Don't Know Another very fast song. However, about midway through the song, it goes into a slower, instrumental section with a guitar solo that resembles the music from "the Nutcracker". Or maybe just a coincidence. A ca-winky-dink. Heheheh.
12. Matt-Alec Possibly one of the greatest songs the Melvins have ever written. It's another song on here that we could classify as being an early grunge tune, with its slow tempo, exemplifying the now-conventions of the genre moreso than "Set Me Straight". Awesome, growly vocals from Buzz angrier than a buzz-saw!
13. The Real You The last studio recording. Starts with an intro of bass-guitar and bass-drums before it explodes into the song. It's probably my least favorite of the songs from this section of the album. I dunno, just not as interesting or powerful as the other songs. Still good by any means, though.
14. Run Around This is from a demo tape, so the quality isn't quite as good as the songs before it. However, still great quality for a tape from 1983! If there's one thing the Melvins had going for them back then, it was good equipment. Somehow. The tempo is sort of the same as "Snake Appeal". There's a little solo in the song.
15. Keep Away From Me This one's a tad faster. Similar to the songs like (Flower) and (Star) before it, but not quite as entertaining, production or riff-wise.
16. ♣ There! I was able to find an actual symbol for this one! This one's pretty good. It's very fast. I love the melodies/riffs they use in this one. It's pretty diverse in its usage of a midsection as well as verses and a chorus and stuff. Very short. Just one minute long. End of Side 3.
17. Bibulous Confabulation (During Rehearsal) A five-minute recording of the band members arguing amidst a rehearsal. Starts out with Matt and Mike arguing over a hamburger and french fries. Some guitar-playing can be heard in the background. Mike is accused of drinking out of someone else's bottle and puking into it. Pretty funny if you want to hear some of the interaction between the band during its early years.
18. ╬ A pretty catchy song. Buzz's vocals are somewhat muffled by the loudness of the other instruments, but it's all cool. There's a little thing Buzz does with his guitar during the chorus that sounds really cool.
19. (Pencil) Man, why the hell couldn't they have just come up with NEW NAMES for these songs if the original titles were so hard to find that they had to replace them with fucking symbols? Well, it's a fast song. The riff reminds me a teeny bit of the one for "Pay to Cum" by Bad Brains.
20. Matt-Alec Once again, we hear the same song twice. Like "If You Get Bored", "Forgotten Principles", and, well this. Pretty much the same song, except the quality is slightly dirtier, and Buzz's voice is a lot harder to hear. Ends with a clip of some British guy on the radio talking.
21. Walter A 3-minute instrumental song. Great riff. One person actually pointed out that seven years later Green Day ended up producing a song that sounded almost identical to this. Coincidence? Who knows! Not a whole ton I can say about it, other than like all of the other songs here, it rocks, and there's no lyrics or vocals.
22. (Scissors) I don't even know why they included this one as a track... it's just one second of tape hiss followed by complete silence for about twenty seconds. What? Is there something I missed? Did the Melvins indeed write the FASTEST PUNK SONG EVER?? Like, a song SO FAST, SO HARDCORE that it was so short that it could not be sensed by the human ear and only by certain species of dog? The fucking ESSENCE OF THRASH. "5643-Song EP" by Anal Cunt doesn't have shit on this bitch.
23. (Airplane) Ditto.
Well, that's all there is for now. Perhaps there was more the Melvins did in those days that is yet to be revealed... probably not. Well, it's extremely generous in my opinion that the Melvins decided to release this in the first place... I mean, there are only two known live dates the Melvins ever even performed in 1983. And this stuff is better than a lot of other hardcore punk from the era. Well, slowly, the Melvins got more exposure and started playing shows alongside other punk bands that visited the Seattle area. The band went on to master the hardcore punk genre, climaxing in godly pieces such as "She Waits". However, more importantly, the band's slowness was there to stay, and pretty soon afterwards became their most prominent characteristic. This, they say, was the birth of grunge. In 1985, some people noticed that the Seattle music scene was beginning to change, producing actual quality original music (it is said that the scene was mostly dominated by lame cover-bands before this period), and the Melvins were one of the first bands they signed. This was C/Z Records. Some post-Mangled Demos but pre-Six Songs songs can be found on "Deep Six", the first C/Z Records release ever. The second record they put out was a six-song vinyl EP for the Melvins. The band's sound became slower and heavier as time went out, eventually churning out songs up to 12 minutes long just on the sheer monstrosity of it all. But that, my friends, is another tale, which has been talked about and will be talked about in other reviews. This is the beginning of the Melvins. If you like the Germs, Black Flag, or Flipper, you'll probably love this.
Top 3 Favorites: 1. Matt-Alec 2. If You Get Bored 3. (Star)
THE RETURN OF MARTHA SPLATTERHEAD 
