Review #230: The Melvins - Ozma (1989)

OZMA

Year: 1989
Genre: Doom Metal/Hardcore Punk
Label: Boner Records
Tracks: 17
Length: 35 Minutes
My Rating: 6/8

"Ozma" is the second full-length record from the Melvins... shortly after the release of their first album, the Melvins split with Matt Lukin and decided to move down south out of the redneck shithole known as Aberdeen, Washington to the more musically happening land of San Francisco, California! There they met a new bass guitarist named Lori Black who previously was in a thrash band called Clown Alley and also the daughter of the actress Shirley Temple! I believe Buzzo even was dating her for awhile but I'm not entirely sure if this iz a fact or not. At this time they also got signed to a new label called Boner Records which was apparently reliable enough to release 6 more albums for the band within the next several years... Boner Records is run by Tom Flynn, a member of Fang. He also played bass for the Melvins for a short while when Lorax was sick and Slammytown was in prison for you-know-what...

In a lot of ways Ozma is very musically similar to Gluey Porch Treatments, but there are subtle differences between the two... first off, the mix on this record feels a bit weaker... the drums are louder than the guitars... I usually look to the Melvins for heavy, powerful guitar riffs, but on this album the guitar feels a bit more muffled than it should. Nonetheless, it doesn't really ruin this album. Also, as weird as GPT was, this album is a bit more, well, weird in composition, and the songs are even more unpredictable... not as Black Sabbath-y and more Black Flag-y here. Probably the closest a Melvins record gets to sounding like a Black Flag record production wise... would remind me of "My War" if the drums weren't as trebly. It's still an fucking great record that would blow me away if it came out todday but I find it to be the weakest Melvins record of the pre-Atlantic period since it has a few too many so-so songs and the production have as much of an "oomph" to it. But I'm not here to Ozma-bash todday, I'm here to sing its praises to all the littel flowerchildrun of the WORLLLLDDDD...

1. Vile
This song used to be called "Vile Vermillion Vacancy" back in the mid-'80s and this version of the song has, like the title, been shortened a bit. The song starts off with a weird humming noise speeding up, and then a deep, heavy guitar riff plays... now you fucking KNOW it's THE MELVINS, MANG!! YA KNOW IT... Buzz's voice has transformed from a youthful growl to a wail of mayhem starting with this album. The riff just chugs along... one chord is all it takes. All it takes in the verse section, as the drums climb up the Stairway to Heallven and the like. The original version of the song (V.V.V.) had a bunch of extra sections but that is absent here...

2. Oven
This song's a little quicker... feels kinda like thrash metal. After the first part, the song changes into a section with only a drum beat and Buzz yelling more nonsense! Thun the loud guitar pummeling ambushes again.

3. At A Crawl
The Melvins had written this song pretty early on, and it even appeared on their first E.P. and on an obscure K Records comp before that. This time it's gone total fucking heavy ground-shattering boulder mode, like a bull charging at .10 miles per hour but with all the same intensity n' density! "FUCK... I'M CRAWLIINNN''.... ON MAH BELLY CRAWLIN'.... SUCKIN' LIVINNNN'... DIVINE MESSSSS!!!!" -- the next-to-holy moans and shouts of agony from Buzzed Osborne, the afro-headed guitarist/vocalist/founder of the FUCKING MELVIN BAND, KIDZ! This song really does feel like yer crawlin', just gasping for water/air/whatever, just in pure torment, yer fucked up under the weight of all that doth oppress... there's backing vocals on this recording of the song which I think is a nice touch but I can't tell if it's Dale or Buzz himself doing them. This version doesn't have the long drawn-out ending part.

4. Let God Be Your Gardener
An especially creepy cut... it starts off with a slow lead-driven intro with a spooky type of sound to it... it transitions into another part, and then abruptly into the main part of the song, which when it is done is totally unexpected yet it flows... really creepy feel to that. From then onwards is pretty hard-rocking, just a nice punk rawk riff and cool weird lyrics and singing...

5. Creepy Smell
Starts off with a drum intro as Buzz whispers things off in the distance. Then the magick starts up and the song gets real fucking hot... love that guitar riff. It's really aggressive and powerful. Then there's a slow part towards the end with the unforgettable line: "CREEPY CROVER". HEY DALE... BUZZ THINKS YER CREEPY!!!!

6. Kool Legged
This one is extremely slow... very similar to the types of songs the band would start cranking out in the early '90s but not quite the same thing since this song is less than three minutes long... I can't help but think he's talking about a vaggina when he sings "THE RIVER WHERE YOUR LEGS MEET"... what do you think? THERE'S A PICTURE OF JESUS AS AN INDIAN. Love that line. In the middle there's an odd part with Buzz moaning with weird jangly wiggly guitar noises. Love it!

7. Green Honey
Starts out with a really cool drumbeat and then it gets to a more upbeat mode kinda like the beginning of "Oven". I think the lyrics are supposed to be about getting venereal disease or something. V.D. sucks.

8. Agonizer
Starts with a cool drum intro like many songs here do. Unfortunately this song doesn't do a ton for me. It's just kinda there, and it's decent but nothing that unique about it. End of Side A.

9. Raise a Paw
This one's pretty cool. It has a cool boingy guitar sound and a funky lil' bass line and a hard drivin' drum beat. PAW GRANT ME IT'S WISDOM! The "waste nothing ever you never" part at the end with the zig-zag guitar part just lingering at the end sounds awesome too.

10. Love Thing
This is a cover of an instrumental by the band KISS. It's short but it's decent. The bass guitar reminds me of funk metal like the Red Hot Chili Peppers or Faith No More or something. It fades out...

11. Ever Since My Accident
It's funny because the original version of this song was extremely fast and frantic... well, the franticness is still here but in a different form. I mean, it's practically a completely different song, but maybe I'm missing something here... it fades in like a large snake crawling in, ready to constrict its prey and consume. Slow. I STAND ALONE LIKE A TREE! ALONE I STAND! Nice scary guitar riff here.

12. Revulsion/We Reach
Two songs in juan. The first song is "Revulsion". It's a pretty good song. Slow, heavy, weird intro, y'know the drill. Or do you? Halfway through, the song "We Reach" begins, which is even slower and cooler. The guitar riff sounds like a chisel ripping off chunks of wood from something very large and hard and made of wood (a penis, maybe?). I love slow music. This one is laden with ghostly humming of feedback and very somber-feeling... pretty bassy, also. Strong bass presence. Buzz roars at times... whispers so soft at others.

13. Dead Dressed
This one kicks a lot of ass. Nice guitar riff and sweet singing and drumming. It's pretty close to bein' the full package.

14. Cranky Messiah
I get the image of Jesus being really grumpy and hung over and whiny with this one.

15. Claude
Twisty n' turning. Claude Monet, maybee??

16. My Small Percent Shows Most
Shortest song on the album. It starts with a cool guitar melody, starts off sounding pretty normal and gets more weird and discordant from there onwards. Hell yeah!

17. Candy-O
An actual pop song on this record! It's a cover of a song by the Cars. It's better than the original and it rocks hard and should get any party going, fuckers! The "CANDY-O... I NEED YOU SO" part kills! Makes me wanna eat M & M's at night on a full moon. Sadly this song is only available on the CD version.

So yeah, there's OZMA, baby!! It's a pretty sweet album... after this album the band changed things up and started making their music insanely slow and droney. If you like non-generic, aggressive music that's true to the punk attitude but can appreciate all that is good about heavy metal, then this record is for you. Do listen, it may change your life. THE MELVINS RULE, OK??!!

Top 3 Favorites:
1. At a Crawl
2. Creepy Smell
3. Candy-O

Review #197: Deep Six (1985)

DEEP SIX COMPILATION

Year: 1985

Genre: Post-Punk/Heavy Metal/Hardcore Punk
Label: C/Z Records
Tracks: 14
Length: 43 Minutes
Style: Emotional/Weird/Angry
My Rating: 7/8

Look, I know I already wrote a review of this record, but I wrote that one over a year ago and my early reviews didn't do that record very much justice (just ice!), so I'm re-doing it because it's fun to revisit cool records like that anyways.

DEEP SIX is sort of like the first "grunge" record, not counting the first Green River album, because besides that album it was the first official appearance for many of the more famous northwest punk/metal bands such as Soundgarden, the Melvins, Malfunkshun, etc. And like the title suggests, there are SIX bands featured on this record, some contributing more than others. Also the debut release from C/Z Records, with the second being the first Melvins EP. You'll hear some early Green River tunes, the Melvins still in their hardcore punk mode, a very lo-fi Soundgarden, one wild U-Men tune, and some of only Malfunkshun songs ever released in Andrew Wood's lifetime. Also Skin Yard with saxophones! These six bands all visited the Ironwood Studios in Seattle, Washington and recorded some songs, because very few labels were around to make records for the bands so this was a first opportunity for many of the Seattle rock bands that didn't fall into the other aging scenes. Look, "GRUNGE" is just a term made up by the mainstream media who were and have always been oblivious to the idea of punk authenticity and the idea that not every style of music has a super-specific sound. Metal isn't ONLY just angry guys wearing all black groaning about Satan and punk isn't ONLY just people with mohawks playing really fast music about anarchy. The mainstream media, unaware of this concept, because all of these new bands weren't living stereotypes, dubbed it "grunge" because the only stereotype you could pin on '90s underground rock bands were that they all looked kind of "grungy". Green River didn't come up with the term, they said, "PURE GRUNGE! PURE SHIT!" -- it was a joke, "grunge" was originally a term for grime and dirt, very fitting in this context. Nirvana? Heavy version of the Beatles. Alice in Chains? Soundgarden? Sound like fucking Black Sabbath. Pearl Jam? '70s hard rock with twangy vocals. Mudhoney? A really good Stooges rip-off. You see where I'm getting at here. These bands were essentially revisiting styles of music that already existed but actually managed to sound original because. But they had nothing in common besides taking a lot of cues from '70s heavy metal. Anyways, who cares? Apparently I cared enough to write all that, so there's yer answer, dudde. "Dudde". "Dudde Castles". "Come see them". "The Dudde Castles, a historical site for your viewing pleasure, eeeheheheheee!!".

Well, where was I going with this? Oh yes, Deep Six! It's got songs from all six bands, so let's cut to the chase and start listening to DEEP SIX, shall we? Okay. Here we go. One two three four five six seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty One. Twenty Two. Twenty Three. Twenty Four. Twenty Five. Twenty Six. Twenty Seven. Twenty Eight. Twenty Nine. Thirty. Thirty One. Thirty Two. Thirty Three. Thirty Four. Thirty Five. Thirty Six. Thirty Seven. Thirty Eight. Thirty Nine. Forty. Forty One. Forty Two. Forty Three. Forty Four. Forty Five. Forty Six. Forty Seven. Forty Eight. Forty Nine. Fifty. Fifty One. Fifty Two. Fifty Three. Fifty Four. Fifty Five. Fifty Six. Fifty Seven. Fifty Eight. Fifty Nine. Sixty. Sixty One. Sixty Two. Sixty Three. Sixty Four. Sixty Five. Sixty Six. Sixty Seven. Sixty Eight. Sixty Nine.

YAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Green River - "10,000 Things"
First off is a Green River song. Called 10,000 Things. That's more things than I just counted in that last paragraph! Marky Army sings about having "10,000 things chasing him"... now just imagine that when he said "things" he was talking about "pennises". HAHEHEHEHEHEHO. It's a pretty nice angsty hard rock tune. Great heavy riffs, nice guitar-playing, the tempo has just enough energy to it. Mark's voice sounds like Iggy Pop. The guitar solos are absolutely beautiful. This whole song just rocks, man! I just really love that middle section with the guitar solo. OOOWWWUUUAIIAIIAIIIAIIIII!!!! Apparently he's even got "things crawling out his arm"... isn't that hilarious??!! A lovely song for yer heart n' soul.

2. Melvins - "Scared"
The... MELVINS!! YAY!! This wasn't actually the first recorded appearance of the Melvins like a lot of people believe because they had some songs on two K Records compilation tapes a year prior. This song is a little slower but definitely not "Melvins slow". The riff is hacks away at the melodic void like a crazy fuzzed-out chainsaw and the intro riff is awesome, with some corny chime sounds and some "whoo whoop whoop"s thrown in for good measure. I absolutely love it. It reminds me a little bit of the riff for "I Saw Your Mommy" by Suicidal Tendencies but better! After this part, Matt Lukin starts playing a very speedy bass riff but the song anti-climaxes back into a mid-tempo funk with a more down-beat guitar riff, and King Buzzo supplies some of the most cartoonishly awesome vocals you'll hear, with his voice pitch going all over the charts, from Bugs Bunny to Cookie Monster. Hah! I really love that. I also like the one part where the whole band shouts "DO IT!"... really fun song. At the end of the song, the band plays a similar section to the intro but in a few steps down and then they all shout "SCARED!!". And that's all there is. There isn't. Any more.

3. Melvins - "Blessing the Operation"
This one's really fast! One of the fastest hardcore songs you'll hear, and it's by the Melvins! The whole song is loaded with energy, from the drumming, the vocals, the bass, the guitar... all complete sonic fury! The lyrics seem to allude to the fundamentalist religious-leaning policies of Ronald Reagan in the 1980s. But it's just an amazing song! There's a demo version of this on the Melvins album "26 Songs", also.

4. Malfunkshun - "With Yo' Heart (Not Yo' Hands)"
This is a slow song and when I listen to it again it kind of reminds me of Black Sabbath with a more glam rock edge. UH-ONE-TIME!!! Andrew Wood (frontman/vocalist of the band) has a voice that goes from a rough Seattle twang to a wispy falsetto. Pretty good drumming, allso. There's sort of a trippy thing of lead guitar floating around the very top of your head like little ghosts. Real angry-sounding fucked up guitar riff in the chorus.

5. Skin Yard - "Throb"
Starts out with a simple bass guitar riff and some psychedelic-sounding guitar fading in and out, before heading into full intensity, with loud yet pretty-sounding electric guitar, an angry bass riff, tortured vocals, and a slow beat. This one's real good-sounding. Excellent melodies all around... prepare to be in for something else when hearing Throb!

6. Soundgarden - "Heretic"
Out of all of these bands, Soundgarden definitely became the most famous. They got signed to a major label first in the late '80s, they had two really famous albums, and they were pretty talented as well -- they got so famous that Chris Cornell actually thought it was a good idea about 12 years after they broke up to record an album with a lame "rap" artist that most Soundgarden fans wouldn't care for at all! But besides all that... this early incarnation of Soundgarden feels more punk than the metal sound they'd be later famous for. Chris doesn't belt out his mouthsounds as much as he just screams like a dying cat. Like Rosie. This one cat I know. She's a little brown fat kitty and she's so cute but I can't pet her because I'm allergic to her. Doesn't that SUCK?? Anyways, Chris screams things about religious persecution and with references to religion and the occult. This song was re-recorded for the soundtrack to a movie called "Pump Up the Volume", but this original version is much better! Just listen to how that guitar sounds.

7. Soundgarden - "Tears to Forget"
This song is a lot faster than the song before it and once again features that amazing guitar tone that sounds like a mix between fire and ice if they knew how to play instruments. The chorus section after the intro has an ominous/exciting riff like something important is about to happen. The verse section's riff and lyrics elaborate on this tension, with a slightly different drumbeat. Once again, this song eventually was re-recorded, and it was featured on the band's first album, "Screaming Life". End of Side A.

8. Malfunkshun - "Stars-N-You"
The other Malfunkshun song. Much faster than their other song. It has sort of a euphoric riff and vocal melody, with crazy love-song lyrics and the like. It kind of crashes and takes off... the tempo is real unique-sounding. Return of the infamous "one time" lyric. Again. Heh. Also take a listen to those crazy solos!

9. Melvins - "Grinding Process"
One of the most notable Melvins songs and probably their first song where they tried to get real slow and heavy. It has an extremely grimy, tough energy to it... just slow enough to rub that knoize knuckle around in your face after punching it. The vocals are awesome, Buzz sounds snotty as ever! Just listen to how everybody yells "TASTE" all at once that first time! Then there's a guitar solo and an outro section with an ascending guitar riff with an extremely thick, dark sound to it. Different versions of this song have also been featured in their debut 7", the "10 Songs" album, the "Northwest Hardcore" compilation tape, and 26 Songs, which has every version of the song recorded except for this one.

10. Melvins - "She Waits"
I LOVE this one. Isn't it funny how the Melvins went from being an ultra-fast band to an ultra-slow band? Anyways, the song kicks off with a fast section with a really cool guitar riff, climaxing in a mega-intense thrash section with Dale Crover on vocals that's only four seconds long but actually the best part of the song. Then there's a slower part of the song. It all ends in some really loud feedback with the bandmates eventually complaining before it gets turned off.

11. Skin Yard - "The Birds"
Now we slow things back down... Ben McMillan, the singer of the band sings in a real depressing-sounding and subtle voice. If you liked how things sounded in their other song on this LP, then you'll probably like this one also. And there's some saxophone-playing on this song. The lyrics are very dark and describe feeling plagued by apathy and complacency, and he also complains about there being a lot of birds. Birds must really piss this guy off. That just SUCKS. Birds. They have wings. And feathers. And beaks. They like to eat worms. Isn't that funney?

12. Soundgarden - "All Your Lies"
This is the best version of this song. It was later on their album "Ultramega O.K." and it sounds more clean and metal-ish, and that version rocks also, but this version has that really hot guitar sound that makes the song WAY more exciting-sounding. It's kinda chaotic, but the chaos seems to have a direction. If it didn't, the song would go on forever, right? Perhaps. Anyways, this song is really awesome! The verse part is fast and the chorus part is kind of slow. Kim Thayil can play the guitar REALLY good.

13. Green River - "Your Own Best Friend"
Starts out slow with a mostly lead-guitar melody before taking off for a faster tempo. This song's about a person who feels alienated by the rest of society and feels like his friends and family don't even care about him and feels pressured to do the right thing and dress the right way all of the time. Kind of depressing. Towards the end of the song I suspect that Mark Arm was smoking quite a few joints 'cuz he sounds so stoned he can barely even sing without laughing. The rest of the band sings in chorus vocals along with Mark's lyrics in one part and I thought that sounded pretty cool. The rest of the music starts to fade out and soon you just hear Mark laughing along with a drum beat as weird Butthole Surfer-like vocal effects haunt the soundscape.

14. U-Men - "They"
HEY KIDZ! THIS IS THE LAST SONG! IT'S THE U-MEN: ROCKABILLY ON CRACK COCAINE! The U-Men were the oldest of the bands on this album and had already released a couple of records, so they were more well-known than the other bands here. Yeah, this song is a lot more silly and upbeat than most of the other tunes on here. The singer, John Bigley, has a crazy hillbilly-sounding voice that screams and moans at different times. The first part of the song is real crazy and upbeat, and then there's a calmer, more depressing part of the song where the singer kind of mopes about various mishaps... "Junior flipped the flappin' out on Route 21"... what poetic mastery! I love it! Then a bunch of animals disappear in a "puff of smoke on the road". Great type of song to drink beer and poorly fire bullets outta yer shotgun at trespassers to.

One great thing about this record is that there's so much variety! Every band has their own distinct sound -- even songs from the same band have their own unique sound. This would be the perfect compilation of early Seattle rock stuff if the Accused were also on here or something. But I guess the Accused weren't weird-sounding enough so they aren't anywhere to be found on this album. You'll hear a little bit of punk, metal, psychedelica, all mixed up in one big gigantic stew of (at the time) un-noticed talent. And really, only two of these bands on the compilation made it very far out of obscurity... the Melvins and Soundgarden, and the Melvins soon realized that being on a major label really is bogus! So, if you like any of these bands (I'm sure you like at least one), do check this out... all top-notch material that could have very easily never been put down on the wax slab. It would have been funny if the Mentors were on here also, but then A&M wouldn't want to touch this album the way they did in 1994 almost ten years later. This album just rocks!

Top 3 Favorites:
1. Grinding Process (Melvins)
2. Blessing the Operation (Melvins)
3. 10,000 Things (Green River)

Review #149: The Melvins - Set Me Straight (Single) (1989)

SET ME STRAIGHT (Single)

Year: 1989

Genre: Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Sludge, Hardcore
Label: Do the Right Thing Records
Tracks: 3
Length: 9 Minutes
Style: Angry
My Rating: 6/8

Well, it's been over a week since my last review, but that's what a long summer does to ya, makes you all lazy and stuff so it's hard to push yourself to get anything done. Well, school has started again, so it's pretty much back to a schedule and taking classes and reading books and filling out worksheets and all of that FABULOUS stuff.

But anyways, this 7" record is more often called Outtakes From the First 7" (referring to the band's first EP), but there is no official title and "Set Me Straight" has more of a ring to it and is less awkward to say, so I just go with that one. Yeah, these are three songs from the sessions that produced the band's first record that didn't make the cut. And they're pretty good songs. The first one is one of the band's oldest songs, "Set Me Straight", and the two other ones are even more obscure tracks that were some of their slowest tunes at the time. It's also a bootleg, so if you own a copy of this record, the Melvins have the right to break into your home at any given time and raid it of all of your snacks and records and anything else they might want (and if they DON'T want it, then they'll just destroy it!). But yeah, these three songs are pretty heavy n' cool n' stuff, so now I'm going to talk about them.

1. Set Me Straight
One of the oldest Melvins songs. However, like "Snake Appeal", the Melvins decided that the song was still for keeps several years later, but this time they slowed the song down instead of speeding it up. It's an awesome song with a Stooges/Flipper-hybrid feel, but a more vicious riff and Buzz's rougher vocals. The verse riff is one of the coolest riffs ever. This version of the song just has a massive, pounding feel, like every time Dale hits a snare that you're getting smashed into the ground once more. The Melvins did yet ANOTHER version of this song on the album "Houdini". Now for the b-sides.

2. Show Off Your Red Hands
Starts off with a speedy intro with Black Sabbath-style tonage, until quickly dissolving into a sludgy romp through Melvinsland. This version of the song can also be found on Side B of the "Your Blessened" single as "Pronoun Piece Me". But yeah, the title of this song kinda cracks me up... it's like, Buzz finds this guy who secretly has RED HANDS and with majesty like no either he shouts, "SHOW OFF YOUR RED HANDS, YOU THIEVING BASTARD!". Yeah. That would be funny. Buzz's vocals were so fucking awesome during this period. The song gets even slower towards the end of the song. Very heavy.

3. #2 Pencil
This song also has a fast intro section, though here it lasts a little longer and the beat changes up several times before descending fully into monster-mode. Makes "My War" by Black Flag look pussyish (which I think is a GREAT ALBUM before you start talking shit, by the way). Basically the musical elements of that album consolidated into one song. After all, it was them who inspired Buzzo & the gang to be so different in the first place. The lyrics of the song describe a pencil which has been stuck into Buzz's skin and stuff like that. Slow and awesome. After this song the record ends.

All three songs are equally good, so it's up to you what the best one is. The first song is a lot more "normal" sounding, and the second and third songs are both pretty similar in composure. Alternate versions of both songs on Side B can be found on the "Eight Songs", "Ten Songs", and "26 Songs" albums from C/Z Records and Ipecac Records, so it's not so hard to find these songs anymore. But yesh, definitely recommended for anybody into the earlier workings of the Melvins. So that's all I have to say for right now. I'll be back with a longer review of something else sometime soon.

Review #114: The Melvins - Melvins (EP) (1986)

MELVINS (EP)

Year: 1986

Genre: Punk Rock, Heavy Metal
Sub-Genres: Grunge, Hardcore, Sludge
Label: C/Z Records
Tracks: 6
Length: 12 Minutes (Short)
Style: Angry
My Rating: 6/8

There was a time when almost EVERYONE hated the Melvins. During the late '80s, the Melvins just too weird for most punkers to stomach. Not quite heavy metal, but not quite hardcore. Challenging, bizarre song structures and ridiculously heavy chords mark this period in the Melvins' history. Prior to this time, just not enough people knew about the Melvins. And by "this" time, I mean when Gluey Porch Treatments came out almost a year after this EP. The Melvins had just completed their first U.S. tour in 1985, and by now their fanbase consisted of slightly more than, say, five people. Having already practically invented grunge, the Melvins' hunger for new musical oddities continued. The sound on this record is somewhere inbetween the music on Deep Six and Gluey Porch Treatments (both records contained alternate recordings of many of the songs on here). I'm not sure if you could call the music here sludge metal, but it gets pretty damn close at some points. With C/Z Records just formed, this was the second release ever on C/Z Records after Deep Six. So, here's to the Melvins... let's listen!

1. Easy As It Was
Slow, heavy, and monstrous. Lots of little twists and turns even in the main riff. Dale supplies little drumrolls with a lot of character inbetween the verse and chorus. Excellent drumming. Good song. It would later be featured on Gluey Porch Treatments as "As It Was".

2. Now a Limo
This song's a little faster (which is still slow by non-Melvins standards). The intro begins with a guitar solo. The song's actually pretty short (less than a minute long), but it stands well by itself anyways. Buzz kinda sings along with the ending riff of the song, which I thought was a cool touch.

3. Grinding Process
This song was originally featured in "Deep Six", but this version is slower. Personally I liked the first version the best -- the tempo worked real well on that one. Still, in other senses, there's not a huge difference. Gotta love how Buzz's voice can go from high-pitched to deep in just an instance like that. Needly little guitar solo here. Another way that this version is different from the Deep Six version is the fact that in the ending section, Buzz sings by himself instead of being accompanied by backing vocals. End of Side 1.

4. At a Crawl
Slowest and longest song on the 7"! Perhaps the beginning of sludge metal? This song is heavy as fuck, and while not as slow as what the Melvins would eventually be putting out, it's very slow considering that this was during the era of hardcore punk and speed metal! There is, however, a demo version which predates this song that's significantly faster. The vocals are extremely passionate and awesome. The song would later be on their second LP, Ozma.

5. Disinvite
This is one of the more mid-tempo songs, here. The chorus revs things up even a little more, with Buzz growling "DISINVITE... DISINVITE..." -- awesome vocals, as usual. This one became "Steve Instant Neuman" when they re-recorded it for Gluey Porch Treatments.

6. Snake Appeal
The fastest song. It's a regular hardcore punk song, and actually one of their oldest songs, too (it can be found on "Mangled Demos from 1983"). This version is even faster, though! Guitar solo, also. Aggressive and energetic. Bye bye.

The Melvins, unsatisfied with the quality of these recordings, actually went out of their way to re-record this entire EP. Those recordings are of much higher quality and can be found on the "Ten Songs" album that got released in 1991 (which also includes four bonus songs). A lot of these songs were also later featured on their other albums after this. This iz a good EP, but it still ain't the Melvins at their full potential. Still, if you wanna hear the Melvins during their transitional phase, definitely check this out. And it's still totally good. It's Melvin-tastic, ya might say. Well, I must be going, now. Stay legit.

Top 3 Favorites:
1. Snake Appeal
2. At a Crawl
3. Grinding Process

Review #95: The Melvins - Mangled Demos from 1983 (2005)

MANGLED DEMOS FROM 1983

Year: 2005

Genre: Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Hardcore, Grunge
Label: Ipecac Records
Tracks: 9
Length: 43 Minutes (Long)
Style: Angry
My Rating: 7/8

While the Melvins were and still are the kings of sludge, they had a quite swift and speedy upbringing. For many years, Melvins fans who came too late to hear this era first hand (a.k.a. most of them) found this stage in the Melvins' career to be somewhat murky and vague. The unknown. Haunted by Melvins Dragons and Melvins Monsters. The songs on the Deep Six somewhat touched on this older sound. "Forgotten Principles" was released on one of the many Amphetamine Reptile 7" singles in 1996. There were a few bootlegs around with some of these songs on them, but most of the song titles were wrong. Finally, in 2005, after years of waiting, Buzz Osborne finally dusts off some of these 22-year-old tapes and finally gets the album that could have been released for all of us! One pleasant feature of this album is the fact that it does contain a lengthy writing by the King himself on what his life growing up as one of the lone punks of Montesanto, Washington... great stories, especially if you grew up in a rural area like this. It's really interesting. Anyways, after all that took place, the band formed, originally consisting of Buzz Osborne, Matt Lukin, and Mike Dillard (the original drummer).

In this album, they play fast hardcore punk songs -- similar to Black Flag, the Germs... bands they were heavily influenced by. This album is actually somewhat historically significant in the sense that many consider Mangled Demos to contain what are the first grunge songs ever -- "Set Me Straight" and "Matt-Alec". They're basically two songs with a hardcore punk edge but a slower speed, and lots of distortion. In a sense, here, you are hearing the first grunge. And they're still kids, here! Well, it's a got a lot of songs -- some of them were recorded for an album that was never released because there were no record labels in the area until 1985 when C/Z Records formed. Some are just demos/jam sessions/live performances. So yeah, let's just dive in now, shall we?

1. Elks Lodge Christmas Broadcast
This part's great... it's an local old radio broadcast of a talent/fundraiser show called "Sunshine Kids" in Montesanto Washington... starts with an old guy with an acoustic guitar playing a soft, happy, family-friendly folk/country song. The two host men comment and seem to get slightly confused as the Melvins are tuning up their instruments, joking about how they "are about to get their sinuses cleared". The band members are interviewed, in the order of Matt Lukin, Buzz Osborne, and Mike Dillard. The younger interviewer tells the audience to get ready because the Melvins are about to play some "good PUNK rock"...

2. If You Get Bored (Live)
The Melvins say that they're going to play now, so we hear various snippets of some of the other songs they played. About a half-minute into the track, the Melvins begin to play "If You Get Bored". Buzz's voice is a lot more nasal than usual, but still snotty and confrontational. Lots of feedback. Just imagine the reaction the crowd must've had -- the Melvins were practically the only fans of punk in this whole area. Keep in mind that this is one of the first Melvins live performances ever! The song fades out just before the second chorus ends. The two host guys seem pretty glad to tell us that they are going to be next having some more "traditional" acts up for the Sunshine Kids Broadcast. The clip ends in one of the commentators joking about wether or not they were still alive after the Melvins performance...

3. Forgotten Principles
This is the first track from the 1983 studio session. Supposedly the studio they recorded this in was run by two hippies and in really bad shape. However, they were luckily able to record these songs! Like you may expect, it's a fast, snotty, thrasher with a shouted chorus of "FORGOTTEN PRINCIPLES". Buzz's vocals are as aggressive as the sound of the guitar, with a furious beat continuously punching you in the face. The song is just over a minute long.

4. Snake Appeal
One of their most famous hardcore-era songs... it was re-released on the debut EP, then on the later LP version of that record from 1991, and then a later demo version from 1984 was featured on the album "26 Songs". As for the song itself? Well, it's got a great, combative bass guitar, combined with more fucking awesome vocals and good guitar. It's just a shame it's not a little bit longer than it was. Sounds very Germs-esque, especially in the chorus part.

5. (Flower)
This one is very fast! The title is given as a small picture of a flower, but because I cannot find a flower symbol right now, I am going to just write it as "(flower)". Make sense? Anyways, the song is a pretty typical hardcore punk song with Buzz singing about how his parents steal his money from him even though he lost his job because "he's just a slob". The song ends in a slow part. End of Side 1.

6. If You Get Bored
We hear it once again! However, this version was recorded in the studio rather than live. The vocals are much more on-point and tough-sounding. Damn, this is a great, aggressive song if there ever was one. It just doesn't miss its mark. Few bands can sound this good consistently even in one song.

7. Set Me Straight
The "first grunge song". Well, it's pretty slow, the distortion is cranked up a notch. Really, it's not extremely different from what a lot of hardcore punk and noise punk bands were doing already, playing an occasional slower song, but I guess since this song's a little heavier and the Melvins being near Seattle and everything, some find it appropriate to call it that. Buzz's vocals just fit perfectly with his guitar sound. Hear him practically growl like a wild animal after singing a line. The drumming of course, sounds good, too. Not as good as on "Matt-Alec", but we'll get to that later. This song was later re-recorded for a 1986 studio session and then again in 1993 for their major label debut, "Houdini".

8. (Star)
I like this one a lot! It's very fast, it has a fun riff, more good, confrontational vocals. It's pretty short, but legit. Buzz says "boy" or "boi" a lot... I'm not sure what that meant... perhaps a parody of the shouted phrase "Oi"? I know the skinheads hated the Melvins early on in their career. Or maybe I'm just reading into this too much. Anyways, good song.

9. I'm Dry
Once again, great song. It's fast, not like the track before it -- more in the way of "Snake Appeal" or "If You Get Bored". The vocals hit the edges of every fucking curve. Shame no one appreciated them back then.

10. Forgotten Principles
This is pretty much a distorted version of the version of Forgotten Principles in track 3. I'm not even sure why they put this one on the record. Maybe just a typical Melvins weird moment. Basically the guitars sound all weird and Buzz's voice seems to have been slowed down. End of Side 2.

11. I Don't Know
Another very fast song. However, about midway through the song, it goes into a slower, instrumental section with a guitar solo that resembles the music from "the Nutcracker". Or maybe just a coincidence. A ca-winky-dink. Heheheh.

12. Matt-Alec
Possibly one of the greatest songs the Melvins have ever written. It's another song on here that we could classify as being an early grunge tune, with its slow tempo, exemplifying the now-conventions of the genre moreso than "Set Me Straight". Awesome, growly vocals from Buzz angrier than a buzz-saw!

13. The Real You
The last studio recording. Starts with an intro of bass-guitar and bass-drums before it explodes into the song. It's probably my least favorite of the songs from this section of the album. I dunno, just not as interesting or powerful as the other songs. Still good by any means, though.

14. Run Around
This is from a demo tape, so the quality isn't quite as good as the songs before it. However, still great quality for a tape from 1983! If there's one thing the Melvins had going for them back then, it was good equipment. Somehow. The tempo is sort of the same as "Snake Appeal". There's a little solo in the song.

15. Keep Away From Me
This one's a tad faster. Similar to the songs like (Flower) and (Star) before it, but not quite as entertaining, production or riff-wise.

16. ♣
There! I was able to find an actual symbol for this one! This one's pretty good. It's very fast. I love the melodies/riffs they use in this one. It's pretty diverse in its usage of a midsection as well as verses and a chorus and stuff. Very short. Just one minute long. End of Side 3.

17. Bibulous Confabulation (During Rehearsal)
A five-minute recording of the band members arguing amidst a rehearsal. Starts out with Matt and Mike arguing over a hamburger and french fries. Some guitar-playing can be heard in the background. Mike is accused of drinking out of someone else's bottle and puking into it. Pretty funny if you want to hear some of the interaction between the band during its early years.

18. ╬
A pretty catchy song. Buzz's vocals are somewhat muffled by the loudness of the other instruments, but it's all cool. There's a little thing Buzz does with his guitar during the chorus that sounds really cool.

19. (Pencil)
Man, why the hell couldn't they have just come up with NEW NAMES for these songs if the original titles were so hard to find that they had to replace them with fucking symbols? Well, it's a fast song. The riff reminds me a teeny bit of the one for "Pay to Cum" by Bad Brains.

20. Matt-Alec
Once again, we hear the same song twice. Like "If You Get Bored", "Forgotten Principles", and, well this. Pretty much the same song, except the quality is slightly dirtier, and Buzz's voice is a lot harder to hear. Ends with a clip of some British guy on the radio talking.

21. Walter
A 3-minute instrumental song. Great riff. One person actually pointed out that seven years later Green Day ended up producing a song that sounded almost identical to this. Coincidence? Who knows! Not a whole ton I can say about it, other than like all of the other songs here, it rocks, and there's no lyrics or vocals.

22. (Scissors)
I don't even know why they included this one as a track... it's just one second of tape hiss followed by complete silence for about twenty seconds. What? Is there something I missed? Did the Melvins indeed write the FASTEST PUNK SONG EVER?? Like, a song SO FAST, SO HARDCORE that it was so short that it could not be sensed by the human ear and only by certain species of dog? The fucking ESSENCE OF THRASH. "5643-Song EP" by Anal Cunt doesn't have shit on this bitch.

23. (Airplane)
Ditto.

Well, that's all there is for now. Perhaps there was more the Melvins did in those days that is yet to be revealed... probably not. Well, it's extremely generous in my opinion that the Melvins decided to release this in the first place... I mean, there are only two known live dates the Melvins ever even performed in 1983. And this stuff is better than a lot of other hardcore punk from the era. Well, slowly, the Melvins got more exposure and started playing shows alongside other punk bands that visited the Seattle area. The band went on to master the hardcore punk genre, climaxing in godly pieces such as "She Waits". However, more importantly, the band's slowness was there to stay, and pretty soon afterwards became their most prominent characteristic. This, they say, was the birth of grunge. In 1985, some people noticed that the Seattle music scene was beginning to change, producing actual quality original music (it is said that the scene was mostly dominated by lame cover-bands before this period), and the Melvins were one of the first bands they signed. This was C/Z Records. Some post-Mangled Demos but pre-Six Songs songs can be found on "Deep Six", the first C/Z Records release ever. The second record they put out was a six-song vinyl EP for the Melvins. The band's sound became slower and heavier as time went out, eventually churning out songs up to 12 minutes long just on the sheer monstrosity of it all. But that, my friends, is another tale, which has been talked about and will be talked about in other reviews. This is the beginning of the Melvins. If you like the Germs, Black Flag, or Flipper, you'll probably love this.

Top 3 Favorites:
1. Matt-Alec
2. If You Get Bored
3. (Star)

MUSIC VIDEO FOR "MATT-ALEC"

Review #84: The Melvins - With Yo' Heart, Not Yo' Hands (Single) (1990)

WITH YO' HEART, NOT YO' HANDS (Single)

Year: 1990

Genre: Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Grunge, Post-Punk
Label: Sympathy For the Record Industry
Tracks: 3
Length: 8 Minutes (Short)
Style: Mysterious/Weird
My Rating: 6/8

I read somewhere that Buzz Osborne considers the early grunge band Malfunkshun one of the greatest bands to come out of the Seattle scene. Though they never released an actual record (they were featured on the Deep Six compilation) during the lifetime of frontman Andrew Wood (an LP was finally released in 1995), they accumulated quite a positive reputation, and were one of the top bands of the early grunge scene in the mid 1980s, before the word "grunge" was ever even once used to describe it! Judging by the release date of the album (Andrew Wood passed away in 1990 right before Mother Love Bone's debut LP came out), this was likely a tribute to the man, or at least a sad case of irony. It's also interesting for having two different B-Side tracks, little-known cuts that many Melvins fans have not heard. These include the short-but-sweet sludge-punk beauty of "Four Letter Woman" and the humorous sample-laden "Anal Satan".

1. With Yo' Heart, Not Yo' Hands
As you might already know, it's a Malfunkshun cover. The lyrics seem somewhat sexual, maybe a dark love song of some sort. It's slow and quite lead driven. The riff is sinister and bleak. The song ends in a final blitz of feedback and noise that feel like electricity. It's over four minutes long. Now let's listen to the next songs...

2. Four-Letter Woman
It took me awhile to figure this out, but I think the "four letter woman" is Lori. L-O-R-I. Like, from the Melvins. She plays bass guitar on this album. The song variates from hardcore punk pounding to sludge-metal thumping, with a murky, cool riff. Buzz's vocals are great in this song, he makes great use a vibrato technique in the sung section. The song ends in a section similar to the part that precedes the verse section. The song is under two minutes long.

3. Anal Satan
This one to me totally sounds like a Butthole Surfers song. Yet the Melvins are indeed demented enough to come up with a song like this. The song ends with Buzz yelling "YOU'RE GOING TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!! YOU'RE GOING TO GET A SPANKINGG!!". The song uses a heavy amount of industrial/hip-hop style sampling, slowed down fragments, sped-up clippets, and clips of Dale from the Melvins dissing Bruce Pavitt from Sub-Pop Records for not originally putting out this record like they intended. The main lyrics are clips of two different voices shouting "ANAL! SATAN..." -- quite a fun song, showing the Melvins deviating from their main trade. The song ends with a semi-musical fanfare from what sounds like a chainsaw.

Well, I thought it was quite good for a somewhat obscure 3-song 7" vinyl EP record thing that you put in your record player that spins it around so it can play a pattern of sounds based off of the grooves in the aforementioned piece of plastic that creates noises that do in fact resemble the Melvins playing music for you. To be honest, the A-Side I didn't enjoy as much as the B-Sides. Say what you will. I just haven't gotten ultra into it, yet. I actually liked the original Malfunkshun version better. I guess that iz to be expected, though. One thing I noticed about this album's art though is a certain kreepy kreature that is also on the art for the "Oven" single from 1989... do you think THIS guy is the "Anal Satan" we've been hearing about so much?




















..........(Exhibit A) ....................... (Previous Sighting, c. '89)

Now think about it before you judge... if Satan DOES exist, then nobody living knows what he looks like so we can not instantly be sure if he really IS a red guy with horns. Maybe because, as we all know, that the Melvins have been to Hell and back (Brian Walsby drew him), they have indeed seen the guy -- and THIS is what he looks like! Also, note the position that his neck arises from... it could be a pretty damn long neck, sticking out of the collar of the man's shirt, all the way from inside... the ANUS! This could indeed be the Anal Satan... a proper reminder to eat a non-Satanic diet... like, of sacrificed baby-meat and stuff.

Review #81: The Melvins - Gluey Porch Treatments (1987)

GLUEY PORCH TREATMENTS

Year: 1987

Genre: Heavy Metal, Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Sludge, Grunge, Hardcore
Label: Alchemy Records
Tracks: 17
Length: 38 Minutes (Long)
Style: Weird/Angry
My Rating: 7/8

It was the end of an era and the beginning of an era. The Melvins were moving away from their more linear punk origins into something entirely their own. They were becoming more individual than punk. Heavier and slower than grunge. They arguably created the genre of grunge themselves, and even that wasn't extreme enough! This album could be considered the first "sludge-metal" work ever. The production is murky and uncrisp. The music is most of the time, very slow, very heavy, and very unpredictable. The lyrics are even considerably more serious than a later Melvins album. It is the next logical step after what Black Flag had done on "In My Head" about a year and a half prior. This was their last work with Matt Lukin on the bass guitar. Their last work as a Seattle band, before the whole thing with that really even started to take off. This is Gluey Porch Treatments, a true monster of an album which blurs the line between punk rock, heavy metal, and things about rock n' roll you probably didn't even know existed! Let's take a look, shall we?

1. Eye Flys
An extremely slow bassline begins the album. This is punctuated by an occasional single drumbeat. Eventually a buzzing wave of feedback soars in, adding to the ominous mood. By about shortly after midway through the song, the feedback evolves into a droning rhythm guitar, continuing on along the repeated motions of the other instruments. After around four minutes into the song, this all changes into something that sounds a bit more intricate, and eventually Buzz starts to sing his era-typical snotty, angry vocals. The whole song is over six minutes long, and it's one of the most famous Melvins songs in the fanbase.

2. Echo Head
Shortest song on the album. A quirky, speedy little song with shifting rhythms, somewhere between hardcore punk and '80s Melvins weirdness.

3. Don't Piece Me
Starts with a speedy guitar intro sounding like something fast is going to happen (I'd imagine it was done to piss off generic punkers), but then it segues into a piece that it slow, but not nearly as slow as Eye Flys. It could be considered a grunge song in this regard. The second half of the song seems to be a re-hash of the last part of "Show Off Your Red Hands", an earlier song that was recorded for the first EP but not released on any record until 1989.

4. Heater Moves and Eyes
This is a very slow, emotional, great song. The first half has a lot of punch to it and the riff is awesome and the whole song really good and it's one of the best songs on the album. The second half of the song is one of my favorite moments of the album. The final half-minute of the song contains a neat little guitar solo.

5. Steve Instant Neuman
This is a re-recorded version of "Disinvite" from the band's debut EP from 1986. My favorite part is the chorus that goes "Disinvite" in the song. It's pretty damn awesome. After the first chorus is a solo. Then there's the shorter second verse. Then the chorus again -- DISINVITE... DIS... YOU DIS-INVITE...

6. Influence of the Atmosphere
This one is also extremely slow. More unpredictable twists and turns in rhythms and riffs. Some might hate that, but I think it's part of the charm in songs like that. I think the lyrics might be about government propaganda ("you're the adult to reign", "I look into your glass eye") and the dark truths behind them.

7. Exact Paperbacks
This is one of the faster hardcore-sounding songs. My interpretation of the lyrics (which all on this album are quite strange) is the ineffectiveness and likely ignorance of users of American "democracy". The first half is more pounding, and the second half is more flowing and speedy.

8. Happy Gray or Black
The first part of the song is fast and punky. The quick energy is drained away about 1/3 through the song and replaced with a slow, heavy darker part of the song that dirges on with, once again, very interesting drumwork from the Mr. Dale Crover.

9. Leeech
They say this song was originally going to be a Green River song (it was written by Mark Arm and Steve Turner), but the band disliked the song and gave it up for the Melvins for it to be a "Melvins song". For this, the general vibe of the song is somewhat different than the rest of the songs here. About halfway through the song, the rhythm guitar disappears, leaving only bass and drums to be heard. Then the bass guitar disappears as well, so all that is heard for the remainder of the song is the beat. End of Side 1.

10. Glow God
Another short song. It's an instrumental, starting with a constructed guitar melody which halfway through transforms into rhythm guitar, with the beat consistently speeding up and slowing down.

11. Big as a Mountain
A hard-hitting fast beat punctuated with a bass-drum-composed pause accompanied by guitar feedback. Buzz sings in this one (like all of the songs except for Echo Head and Glow God). This one ends a bit abruptly.

12. Heaviness of the Load
As the title suggests, it's pretty heavy. Feels like a dumptruck of heavy metal is continually dumping large quantities of... heavy things on you with roll of the drum. The lyrics seem to describe war and the American arrogance to spread its way of life to as many parts of the world as it can.

13. Flex With You
Hard-rockin' weird non-stop fast-fuck beats and neat guitar work. Halfway through the song begins the "main part", which has a more distinct verse and chorus riff, and vocals from Buzzy. One of my favorites from the album. The title of this song is actually taken from a line in the song that comes after this one.

14. Bitten Into Sympathy
Very slow and dark. Maybe it's about the self or the brain or the nervous system or something cool like that. I'm not entirely sure, sir.

15. Gluey Porch Treatments
YOU! The intro a little more mid-tempo, and the sung verses are pretty fast. The beat gets even more intense at the end with the final lines of the song!

16. Clipping Roses
This one's medium-tempo with a riff and a beat that sound like they'd be at home on Ozma (the album after this one). The lyrics are about, well, clipping roses.

17. As It Was
This is another re-recording of a song off of the debut EP, "Easy As it Was". Unpredictable but entertaining drumming, very slow. Matt Lukin supplies backing vocals on this song. Sort of somewhere between Black Flag and Black Sabbath.

18. Over From Under the Excrement
What a title! This is actually supposed to be a re-recording of "Over From Underground", an early Melvins song, I think. It's an instrumental song, so there are no lyrics or singing. Very slow and heavy. Very twisty and turny in its melody. Ends with a final blast of noizes.

Over twenty years later, this is still musically above the norm. It's STILL ahead of this time. A lot of punks back in the day hated this album and the Melvins because it was so slow, weird, and unlike anything they had ever heard before. I can see WHY someone would not like this. This is not conventional rock music -- it's largely experimental and dark. However, some of us DO get bored of listening to the same verse-chorus patterned music that's been around for ages. This music cures that sickness. Within the year after this album came out, Matt Lukin was kicked out of the band, and the Melvins relocated to California to continue their trade which continues to this very day. The band recruited Lori Black, also known as Lorax, and released Ozma after searching for a new label for a long time. As a result, the initial pressing of this record is somewhat hard to come by. But the Melvins re-released it on a CD with demos of the songs as well, so you can still easily listen to these songs!

Review #74: The Melvins - Making Love Demos (2007)

THE MAKING LOVE DEMOS

Year: 2007

Genre: Heavy Metal, Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Sludge, Hardcore, Post-Punk
Label: Bifocal Media
Tracks: 8
Length: 21 Minutes (Medium-Length)
Style: Weird/Mysterious
My Rating: 6/8

This album is a sort of joint effort between the Melvins and cartoonist Brian Walsby (who often did art for their more obscure records). It iz part comic book and part album. The comic book is called "Manchild 3" and it comes with the album (or maybe the album comes with the comic). Here's the scoop on what was up with the Melvins when these demos were recorded -- these were the last recordings done with Matt Lukin, the original bassist. The band was writing new songs for what would be their next album, "Ozma". So, these sound slightly different. Some of the songs are faster than their studio versions, and a lot of the names are different. The Melvins were still a very unpopular band with the punk rock scene, because their music was so slow, weird, and unpredictable. Brian Walsby was an early fan who actually enjoyed their music during this phase. As a result, Brian and the band have always been good friends, and as I said before, he did a lot of artwork for some of their less-known records (such as this one). Well, let's take a listen.

1. Creepy Smell
Great pick for an opening song. I like this version better than the studio version, to be honest. It's faster and more energetic than the Ozma version. Great drumming. Everything in this song is cool.

2. My Small % Shows Most
This version is longer than the Ozma version. It's a quirky song similar to the sort of songs that were on Gluey Porch Treatments. The song starts out pretty slow and starts to speed up towards the end.

3. Dime Lined Divide
Another faster song (barely a minute long). The guitar is heavy, the beat is powerful. As far as I'm concerned, this iz a song that didn't even get to be on Ozma. What a shame.

4. Excess Pool
Another song exclusive to this album. It ranges from kinda slow to VERY slow. Towards the end it reaches a doom-metal state. The song begins to fade out...

5. Vile Vermillion Vacancy
Another very slow song. It's also much longer than most of the other ones: over five minutes long! Strongly varying tempos. The beat that goes on while Buzz is singing sounds great with it. The vocals sound real good, too. A lengthy faster instrumental section. Buzz sings (more like talks) more in the end part. The song later became "Vile" from Ozma -- but this version of the song is different in a lot of ways. Longer, too. My favorite one on this album.

6. We Got Worries Here
Real slow. Beautiful chords. Soft but sinister vocals. Another song exclusive to this album.

7. Let God Be Your Gardener
I like both versions of this one. Starts with an ominous slow beat and riff. It eventually changes to something slightly faster which seems to just repeat until it just abruptly shifts to the main tempo in a creepy way with a creepy riff. This part is fast, especially compared to the original version. The song ends with a slightly different version of intro riff and beat.

8. Repulsion
This one was later renamed "Revulsion". The song starts semi-fast, with a mid-tempo thing going on, then with only the guitar sounding like it's going to get faster. That part ends and then shifts to a new riff and a very slow beat. This version of the song is a lot longer than the later Ozma version, this one being near six minutes long and the studio version being only three.

The sound-quality is poor (sounds like it was recorded to a single tape player), but the songs are great. To be honest, I like these versions better than the ones on Ozma. Shortly after this was recorded, Matt Lukin was kicked out of the band and replaced with Lori Black (also known as Lorax), the punk rock daughter of Shirley Temple (yes, THAT Shirley Temple). The band struggled to get an album out for a few years but finally got a deal sometime in 1988 by Boner Records, a label that the Melvins has released some of their most notorious work on. The comic that comes with this album seems pretty interesting too, though I haven't gotten a chance to read it, yet. But if you want to hear some older versions of songs from Ozma or just some of the ones you haven't heard before, check this out. Well, the snow outside is slowly beginning to melt (may not be the last of it, though), and it's one day away from the beginning of March. I'm fucking ready.

Review #66: The Melvins - Sludge Glamorous (EP) (2010)

SLUDGE GLAMOROUS (EP)

Year: 2010
Genre: Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Post-Punk, Noise
Label: From the Nursery
Tracks: 3
Length: 22 Minutes (Medium-Length)
Style: Mysterious/Weird
My Rating: 6/8

In 2008, the Melvins released their latest all-original LP, "Nude With Boots". This is a 12" 3-song EP containing out-takes from the Nude With Boots sessions. It has been released on the new label, "From the Nursery".

1. Dies Iraea (Long Version)
A four minute version of this was on "Nude With Boots". This song is more or less a "cover" or the theme to the classic horror film, "The Shining", which itself is said to be an adaption of the 13th-Century hymn, "Dies Irae" (I wonder why they added that extra 'a' to the end, gee whiz). This version is over seven minutes long. It starts out ambient and spooky-sounding, but then it turns into a calm but slightly sinister instrumental song. This one's twice as long, however.

2. It Tastes Better Than the Truth (Alternate Mix)
This is just a remix of "It Tastes Better Than the Truth", the song that was at the end of "Nude With Boots". It's an avant-garde punk song using soundclips of a radio broadcast as well as singing by the Melvins and a repetitive but neat-sounding beat. End of Side 1.

3. Youth Of America
Originally appeared on "Electroretard". This is a cover of a song by the Wipers. It's a fast-paced punk rocker starting out with a lot of guitar-lead, but it's done in a way that doesn't sound corny and just sounds cool. After the intro, the lead-guitar turns into rhythm, and it has a great beat. Like the original song, this song is over ten minutes long, making it the longest song on the EP (seeing as it occupies an entire side by itself). The second half of the song is instrumental, with a long guitar solo. And that iz the END!

While it's nothing extremely new, at least the album gives us one last taste of what 'Nude With Boots' had to offer, as there weren't any new Melvins songs to hold us over in 2009 (which is abnormal for the Melvins) other than the Chicken Switch remixes (which aren't even songs). In a few months, we will be heading into a whole new era of the Melvins, with their new LP which hasn't been named yet, but from what's been said by the lucky few who HAVE heard them in the studio, it is going to sound different from anything they've done before. So, if you like the Melvins or noise-punk in general, you should check it out, especially if you liked the original versions of the three songs on this EP. Stay legit.

Review #40: The Melvins - Smash the State (EP) (2007)

SMASH THE STATE (EP)

Year: 2007
Genre: Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Hardcore
Label: Ipecac Records
Tracks: 4
Length: 4 Minutes (Very Short)
Style: Weird
My Rating: 5/8

The Melvins are a punk-rock band that formed in the great state of Washington. Starting out as a very aggressive hardcore band, they eventually simultaneously invented what people call the two genres of "grunge" and "sludge-metal" by making their music slower, heavier, and more complex. For the most part of their history, the Melvins have been playing their trademark style of extremely heavy and slow music. However, in this record, they return to their initial style.

1. Smash the State
Already fast and noisy like the Melvins of old! The lyrics can't even be deciphered. Background vocals can be heard. I wonder if it's Dale. Speaking of which, I wonder how it feels to be playing unusually fast beats all the sudden. Ends with a weird solo and Buzz barking "Smash the State!"

2. Stalin's Solution
Buzz opens this one with... fuck, I can't understand hardly anything he says in this record. Sounds very similar to the first track, except in the chorus section of the song, there's a lot of abrupt pauses in the music. End of Side 1.

3. Communist Concubine
These songs are all played in the same damn key! Which is okay, at least they're all good songs. It's fast. Buzz yells. There's an electric guitar. Hardcore.

4. Useful Idiot
The only relatively slow song on the record (certainly not as slow as the Melvins have been before, though). It doesn't sound like the others. Sounds like Dale Crover speaking in the beginning with Buzz speaking in the background. The chorus is sung by both of them. There's a repeated line, "I'm the useful idiot!".

This EP is really short. Shorter than an early Black Flag record or "In a Car". There's probably shorter ones still, though. Like, an EP that's two minutes long with one minute on each side. Or an EP that's one minute long with thirty seconds on each side. Damn, that'd be like... a 4" vinyl, right? Do those even exist? Anywhere? Any... way, this is probably the closest to being political that the Melvins have ever gotten and probably will ever get. The record is laden with references to communism and anarchism. Still, I have a hard time believing the Melvins are such staunch communists. They seem the least concerned with that sort of thing out of most punk-rockers. But I digress... this is not a sludge record. It's very fast and thrashy. So if you like their old hardcore stuff (Deep Six, 26 Songs, Mangled Demos from 1983, Making Love Demos), you'll probably like this, though it's a new record, so there are some elements of their newer sound in here. And don't miss their new record. It's coming out before this summer, supposedly. They record it next month. Hopefully it'll be awesome.

Review #23: The Melvins - Eggnog (EP) (1991)

EGGNOG (EP)

Year: 1991

Genre: Heavy Metal, Punk Rock
Sub-Genres: Sludge, Grunge, Noise, Hardcore
Label: Boner Records
Tracks: 4
Length: 20 Minutes (Medium-Length)
Style: Angry/Weird/Funny
My Rating: 6/8

The Melvins are just one o' those bands that can do almost anything they want and succeed. They started out as a great hardcore band, and along the way, invented grunge, and then they went on to invent sludge-metal, and they dabbled in electronic music and experimental noise-rock as well. It's just a shame I didn't review this one before Christmas. It would've been fitting. Eggnog was a favorite of mine during the holiday season until I learned that I was very allergic to milk. Fuck.

Anyways, this one is considered a staple album by the Melvins by a lot of people. And it IS true, the songs on here are pretty good, though in my opinion, they have done better songs. But still, this is AMONG their best in terms of quality.

1. Wispy
Starts with some pounding drums and guitar noise. Contains the memorable line "I don't know much, but... I don't feel so good." Buzzo goes on to sing some stoner poetry, as the drum-and-bass verse build up, until at the end of the lyrics, Buzz lets out a mighty yell which fits extremely well with the instruments. Ends with banging drums. It's a pretty short song.

2. Antitoxidote
My favorite track on the EP. Starts with a slow intro, but then we realize that this is a hardcore punk song! It's very badass, and then after the first verse, Buzz lets out a crazed scream/yell, and then there's another section of the song which has a truly badass recurring line, "PIGS DON'T LET IT!", yelled throughout that part as well as other lyrics inbetween. This song is fucking awesome. I want to play it at parties!

3. Hog Leg
Starts with a tape of a christian evangelist preacher manipulated to say funny shit about alcohol. The song has almost KISS-like vocals with a glam-rock sounding shriek. This one's really heavy. The mid-section, however, iz a noise-fest.

4. Charmicarmicat
Motor-engine sounding guitars. This song is ultra-slow, much like "Boris" on the record before it, "Bullhead". Extremely slow, dirging, and one of the heaviest songs the Melvins have ever done. Near the end of the song, you can hear lyrics that sound like "bastards take away!!", or something like that. It's longer than the other songs on Eggnog combined. DSFSDFSDGSF

I think this is a pretty good Melvins record! It's got a little bit of all of the styles that the Melvins are associated with. The first song is like grunge, the second song is punk, the third song is a mashup between heavy metal and noise-rock, and the final song is pure sludge. Get someone this EP for Christmas.

A LIVE PERFORMANCE OF "ANTITOXIDOTE"